


CᎧLᎧR ME BLUE

by flyingkisseu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Actor Jeon Wonwoo, Chef Kim Mingyu, Childhood Friends, Cooking Show, Ex Lovers, Fame rivalry, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu-centric, Limelight, M/M, SVT Reality show, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 67,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23245012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingkisseu/pseuds/flyingkisseu
Summary: Jeon Wonwoo, popular actor in Japan, comes back to Korea to extend his fame. He’ll have to work with Korea’s trend chef, Kim Mingyu, who has the same plan of getting popularity in Japan. In heavier terms: ‘they have to use each other’. Really, they have to work together. But can they? YES and NO. They were childhood friends but they were also ex-lovers with a broken past. How will they deal with this set up? What we wouldn’t do for just a moment to hold!....or the story when a reality show broke their budding teenage romance BUT fate comes in to let them cross paths as civilized adults that have to work on a cooking show together. Also, someone’s trying to kill Wonwoo. Mingyu wants to help him figure out who that person is.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 40
Kudos: 53





	1. This Guy's the Trend!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Click for [Trailer/Inspired by.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivl0kWm9Pu8&feature=youtu.be)

****

From clean counters to utensils on hooks, the sunlight casts through the set like sweet honey. The scenic view from glassed walls is less captured than that of vivid veggies with its sizzles heard deliciously in the background. Everything as natural as possible, that’s what the production team captures for today’s episode. Everyone seemed to have taken their cup of coffee; the lively atmosphere hypes the man of the kitchen.

 **Host** : “There’s something appealing with every move he makes, as expected to Max _Korea_ Magazine’s No. 1 pick for the man I’d want to marry!”

The words were in a marque to highlight the said attractive man; all projected in a _live screen_ at the heart of Seoul.

In that moment, at the swell of humanity, the way people take Seoul’s street space and chatting as they go, some heads down and lost in thought, some heads up to that eye-catching giant live screen of SCE broadcasting company – to which a particular man ends up doing.

Expensive clothes shine in the morning light. He had to pause in his track, getting his designer sunnies off to have a clear look at the **live** screen: Projected is a man familiar, with that smug grin and composure still while flipping something with fire on that pan. [ **Host** : “It’s almost as if I’m full just by looking, it’s up to you to decide what I’m looking at, definitely Kim Mingyu!!!” ]

“Kim Mingyu,” He muttered under his breath. _You still have that kind of face that could stop anyone in their tracks._

**Jeon Wonwoo** puts his sunnies back on and coursed his path to drive a standing out car in toned-down yellow. He just got back in Korea, thirty minutes ago. Note, Japan will always be his second home. It’s a jackpot for him at his second abode so he knows that his place of origin welcomes him with glamour and fame for the days to come. What he saw there though, of all Seoul’s famous people, it’s that guy who really had to shower Seoul in that breakfast good food aura.

But Wonwoo smiled complacent, “Wait until I’ll be the one doing something live for Seoul to see, hah.” He blinked, that sounded wrong for his mind flashed back to his cover page article in Max _Japan_ Magazine, “No.1 sexiest actor! I have to live to that name,” he stated, then drove fast to his penthouse.

⬤

“EH? B-but. I’m an actor. Don’t you think I should be showcasing what I’m best at, and not be a guest in something I’m not good at?” Wonwoo is calmly freaking out. “A cooking show, really? Is this what the higher order people of the company came up with?”

“Calm the fuck.” - Kahi (34), Wonwoo’s manager.

Kahi flipped to some papers she’s holding, “That’s what they said. We have to conform to that.”

“You told me I’ll be in that fake show, We got Married,” Wonwoo sighed, disappointed. “I can act straight as fuck. Not every gay is afraid of a vagina; we all came from that mighty hole of life after all.”

“First of all, I never told you about WGM. Second, purposefully gays are in that show, the backlash they’d get if they come out is going to be huge. Third, no, there’s no plan of you to come out to the public.”

 _Okay, this is getting boring_.

At this point, Wonwoo _decides_ his attention span will be like his 11y/o nephew’s; and this WGM list is endless, “Fine. Fine. I get it. So, what’s the deal with guesting on this cooking show?” Wonwoo asked, almost done with his slice of strawberry cake.

“Well, you have to be beside an already very popular man, good looking, nation’s ideal of romantic person, striking features and striking background.”

Wonwoo raised a brow at his manager’s change of tone.

She chirps, “Not just in the kitchen, this guy’s the trend!!!”

_Don’t tell me-_

“Kim Mingyu!!!” Kahi announced for the world to hear.

⬤

**The ‘concept-meeting of the show’ day arrived.**

Wonwoo sits beside the director and the other seat beside that of the latter is still empty – _Well,_ _Kim Mingyu’s_.

He boiled the kettle twice that morning. AND he did not make any hot beverage. Yes, the nerves in his system are totally seeking attention. As an actor, he always makes sure he appears calm even if he’s not. But the unconscious drumming of his fingers shows otherwise, only stopping when the director announced, “OUR MAIN MAN’S HERE,” urging everyone to clap.

Kim Mingyu greeted everyone.

 _Seven years back, and you still have it_. Wonwoo’s gaze shifts knowingly to the staffs present, there’s that sudden pause in a person's natural expression when they look at Kim Mingyu, the ‘main man’.

_Today, this supposedly calm day, I let your voice soak in, the way your eyes meet mine and both of us don't turn away_. _Yeah, we’re workmates, there’s nothing to smile about that._

Everyone got settled, and he kinda hates that the room is now dominated with pastry smell. He can’t help but roll his eyes when the two of them have to stand up to be recognized, as their managers shout their credentials like some pirates in a battle.

The director’s turn of words were comforting. And it was an unabashed clatter that caught them off-guard.

“We have to make things clear here,” Leeteuk (39), Mingyu’s manager, stated. “The goal is to make Mingyu popular in Japan.”

Wonwoo wasn’t expecting such, it’s interesting. He felt his manager stood up from beside him, “That is true. But since we’re already here, we have to make Wonwoo popular in Korea first before that happens.”

Leeteuk laughed in a pitch annoying to Kahi’s hearing, “Before what happens? Kim Mingyu will be popular in Japan at the same time that Jeon Wonwoo is becoming popular in Korea.”

The two managers had some sort of hawk-like staring competition, before Kahi breaks it, glancing at the director, “Pressure’s on you,” she said.

The PD put out some reading materials, “Hmm? Not really.” He tossed Wonwoo and Mingyu some copies of their own, “Pressure’s on the both of you.” PD laughs, “Have good team work, you two.”

.

.

.

After few briefings, here he is, alone in the room with the main man, Kim Mingyu.

“The plan is to make people want to bring you back in the show. Then, they’ll announce that you’ll be a regular.” Mingyu said in monotone, still looking at a page in the book. “You just have to act loveable around me, people will like you.”

Wonwoo runs his fingertips to the skin where a frown threatens to form, “Loveable, you say?” It’s something he wouldn’t do – “I could do that” – but he’s an actor. Yet, he wanted to wash away the smile that the other gave him finally deciding to look his way.

“Of course you could.” Mingyu’s playful tone implying something.

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, and I could also ruin everything if I want to.” He puts the reading materials in his bag, how harmless.

Mingyu chuckles, “It will be easy for you, since you’ve ruined everything before, right?”

“What?” Wonwoo gave a dark look, a look that warns an attack at any second, “You think I ruined everything? You really believe that Kim Mingyu? You’re a trash. This show’s going to be a trash. And I’m the one that’s throwing all this garbage out.” He throws the reading materials back to the table, _that shit’s yours._

Mingyu watched as the door slammed, he’s as mad as the one that walked off, but he’s also confused. What’s so wrong about what he said? It’s true. _You ruined everything between us, Jeon Wonwoo._


	2. Coco Bean!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo said that he will ruin this trash show, but will Mingyu let that happen? Welcome to the first episode of KIM MINGYU’S COOKVENTURES!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can listen to I will by The beatles [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-abNGP1BK4)  
> I would like to thank @aiaiai001 for the japanese translation and @hyunyoo5064 for the help in hangul, from HiNative. ❤❤

What is expected for the first shooting? Aside from the nonchalance of Jeon Wonwoo at the main man who’s practicing how to _properly_ voice out the show title – **KIM MINGYU’S COOKVENTURES –** and by _properly_ , we meant handsome voice, attractive wink, and unnecessary yet strategic lip bite. Yes, Kim Mingyu is now prepared in that fine-looking chef outfit.

But with managers as pirates ready to battle each other– peace is not found.

“How can you let this off?” Kahi grumbles, eyes squinting _at the coffee_ held by the weary staffs, all in the same orange **‘TEUK’** and brown bean sign. “That guy, really…”

She is pissed that there is a last minute change in the concept of the first shooting, and that she had to buy cakes for everyone because that goes well with the coffee that was distributed by that manager with nothing but dimples and arrogance.

“You have the audacity to guest a friend’s artist, when this is supposed to be about Wonwoo and Mingyu.” Kahi argues, papers flying from where she points with her documents.

Dimples showing from a bright smile while waving a dismissing hand, “This is also for the program! Guys would have interest if we have this sexy soloist as a guest.”

Kahi huffs defeated, that is true; though she’s confident that Wonwoo could attract guy viewers all the same, “Okay, we can handle this. So, if there are also changes to be added in our part… you should be able to handle that too.”

Now being the only ones in the conference room –

Wonwoo had to deal with his manager’s continuous whines. “It’s not that bad, manager-nim. You just have to get all this ingredients inside the studio.”

“Are you saying we’ll sabotage the dish of the celeb?”

Wonwoo laughs, “No, but close.”

**.**

**.**

**.**

**We’ll start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 –**

**WELCOME TO KIM MINGYU'S COOKVENTURES**  
[This is the new variety show that deliver your tasty out-of-the-blue cravings]

After Kim Mingyu’s short talk, hyping up the audience for what’s installed for them today, it’s now the turn for the guests to be introduced.

Jeon Wonwoo’s _Max Japan Magazine cover page of No.1 sexiest actor_ is projected on the screen. The camera panned to the audience swooning at the visuals.

Wonwoo introduced himself.

おはようございます！

わたしは、 **Wonwoo** です。

すてきなみなさんと

いっしょにすごせることを

とてもうれしくおもいます。

Mingyu didn’t miss the chance to translate it in Korean, “Good morning everyone! I’m Jeon Wonwoo. I’m glad to be here infront of this amazing audience. That’s what he said.”

Wonwoo faked a smiled and decided to continue in korean language so the other can stop boasting. “I’m sure Chef Kim will help me, today. You’re very helpful, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

Wonwoo smiled to a degree of satisfaction, “Then, please help me with this song.”

The crowd started chanting, “Mingyu! Mingyu!” – to which Wonwoo joined.

But then, Wonwoo furrowed his brows when the music started…

**On the side** , Kahi was arguing with Leeteuk, “It was the 3rd song, I told you, right?!”

Mingyu’s manager calmly wiggled his finger ‘no’ at Kahi’s face, “You said first song, madam.”

“I don’t believe this Oh MY GOD,” she hurried to the technical booth to try and change the music.

_No, you can’t ruin the show, Jeon Wonwoo_. English song, _The Beatles, huh?_ Mingyu smiled amused and he started the song with ease– 

_Who knows how long I've loved you_

_You know I love you still_

_Will I wait a lonely lifetime_

_If you want me to, I will_

The Chef’s voice was smooth and clear and quiet but no, this is not the song – **those are not the lyrics that Wonwoo prepared for,** but this man is singing everything…and everything seemed to hit him in ways that words would never be. Then Wonwoo sang next –

_For if I ever saw you_

_I didn't catch your name_

_But it never really mattered_

_I will always feel the same_

Mingyu isn’t sure if he had enough interaction with the audience but it’s the chorus – “Love you forev...”

Wonwoo cut’s his singing with, “THANK YOU! It was a great help, Chef Kim.”

[Click here to Listen to I will by The Beatles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-abNGP1BK4)

The audience had a round of applause and were all satisfied; they had to contain their emotions because the 2nd guest was now revealed.

The screen projected a sexy album cover of HyunA. And she performed her single, **Hip and Lip.**

They had a short break after the performance. Mingyu was still at the studio kindly entertaining the audience before the PD took over to brief the people with the cues.

Wonwoo on the other hand can’t find his manager.

It was Leeteuk who approached him with a dimply smile, “You were great out there. I’m impressed.”

“And so am I!” Hyuna seconded, she slowly approached him while making eye contact, and introduced herself in japanese. She also, _in Japanese_ , said that she heard how popular he is and that she’s happy to be in the first episode with him.

Wonwoo just stared blankly at her, “나는 너를 모르지만 너를 혼내줄꺼야,” something that translates to _‘I don’t know you, but I will crush you.’_

“WHOA,” Leeteuk gasped, “– there you are!” he walked to where Mingyu is, to congratulate him. While Hyuna scurried away.

Wonwoo glanced at Mingyu. He lowly cussed, damn. He didn’t want the other to witness that. But then again – _he smiled at the Chef_ – it’s alright for Mingyu to see what kind of person he had become, the kind that you don’t ever want to mess with, _not the second time around_.

Kahi found Wonwoo in his dressing room, “OH MY GOD have you seen them? I need to talk to them.”

“Maybe, you can knock politely at the biggest door, where else can the _main man_ be?”.

“Yeah, I mean... I was worried about your performance, and you’re clearly upset fox-nim.”

Wonwoo sighed, “You really know me so well.”

The PD barged in, “We’ll be back on air in 5, c’mon.”

Kahi was bummed _she wasn’t able to tell Wonwoo about the possible sabotage that happened earlier._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**WELCOME TO KIM MINGYU'S COOKVENTURES**  
[ **COCO CHALLENGE.** There will be two rounds: (1ST) anything with coconut as a main ingredient and (2ND) drinks that complements the first. CHEF Kim Mingyu will choose the winner.]

**FIRST ROUND: Coconut round!**

Wonwoo was pleased to see that the ingredients he gave to his manager-nim earlier are _all there on his station_.

**(After 30 mins.)**

Mingyu had been asking the two celebs about their dishes; Wonwoo is preparing a dessert while Hyuna is making a soup. It was the right time to send out to the audience, their chemistry. If Wonwoo will have to stay in this show with him, they got to have that at least. He noticed the other to be a shuffling mess as he approached. Then, the celebrity faced him with a big smile that Mingyu had to smile back.

Mingyu leaned forward to look at the delicious fluffs, “Do you have a name yet to this…masterpiece?” 

“This is _coconut_ pudding with, uhh…” there was hesitation in Wonwoo’s voice, “with red bean! **Coco Bean**!”

“Red bean, that familiar flavour that warms us all. Great choice pudding.”

The audience started laughing; some were even covering their face with their hands, blushing.

Mingyu was quick to guess what was going on, “Oh? Did it sound like I just called him, pudding?” he side-eyed the other who was crinkling his nose to a 'no'. Mingyu shakes his head, but _this can be the good chemistry they needed._

Mingyu went back to his space confident that the other doesn’t seem to ruin the show as what was said last time. He’s actually in awe, Wonwoo cooking with firm and precise movements looks refreshing.

Mingyu then proceeded to ask Hyuna about her dish. She proudly announced, “I made a _coconut_ pumpkin soup! I call it Orangey Soup!”

After an exchange of few words, it’s now down to _5 minutes_ – Mingyu announced that they should be doing their platting now. And decided to share to the audience how the coconut should taste if properly combined to the right ingredients.

**3, 2, 1-**

**“Okay, times up!”** Mingyu went to the yellow station where Wonwoo is, smiling with anticipation.

“Okay, please describe what you made, Wonwoo.” And while Wonwoo explains his recipe, Mingyu took a bite of the sweet fluff in shades of red and yellow.

_What the fuck Jeon? There’s no red bean here._

Mingyu is trying to smile amidst the sourness that seemed to engulf him whole.

_This is plain concentrated lemon!_

“How was it?” Wonwoo asked innocently.

Mingyu coughed twice, or thrice.

“I’m tearing up, this is just…” wiping the streak of tear on his face, “this is the best combination to have in a pudding!!”

Wonwoo tilts his head back and laughed, “Yeah? And?”

Mingyu cleared his throat and this time, he tried to guess what the red hue on the pudding really is, “Hm?” there’s actually pomegranate pearls here and coconut, but bad amount of lemon juice. “You will feel relaxed and cozy warm when you fully tasted the red bean. It is familiar so it can be comforting to some.” 

**NEXT** is the red station, Hyuna’s station.

The sexy soloist explained her dish, Orangey soup. Mingyu took a bite and smiled at the camera, “It’s delicious.”

_Fuck you Jeon Wonwoo, you’ve ruined the taste._

**SECOND ROUND: Drinks!**

Wonwoo made a tropical drink in peach color and Hyuna’s drink is still orange in color.

Mingyu eyed Wonwoo’s drink, there were some black round… _fuck what is that, that’s not tapioca pearls_.

They had a steady eye-contact before Mingyu gulped down the _shit load of chilli in that drink_. “This could be a HOT thing if out in the market, I’m not kidding.”

He was quick to take Hyuna’s orange juice, “Fabulous!” _Fuck you Jeon Wonwoo, you’ve ruined the taste._

**It’s time for the ANNOUNCEMENT OF WINNER!**

**“The winner of today’s challenge is? Shout the color of who you think is best to be the winner.”** YELLOW & REDis in the air equally shouted, **“YELLOW. Jeon Wonwoo, you win.”**

“I’m sorry Hyuna. The first round, it was highlighted that coconut should be the main recipe but the pumpkin overshadowed it. And the orange juice was simple.” Mingyu quickly noted Hyuna’s sad smile, “but it looks amazing, like you, all orange.”

The audience cheered and she smiled bright.

Wonwoo was projected live on the screen, smiling coyly.

Mingyu kept his cool, _“_ Jeon Wonwoo. The combination, Coconut and Red bean. It made you the winner, _pudding,”_ The endearment was heard by the audience. “And the drink complimented it well, cozy and tropical is a vibe.” ' _Lemons and Chilli' is not._

“The Recipe of the winner’s dish will be revealed later and will be posted on our page! Thank you for watching **KIM MINGYU’S COOKVENTURES.** ”

Mingyu’s wink cues for END. _The pre-recording of the first episode is done._

⬤⬤⬤

 **3 DAYS LATER.** The green leaves seemed to dance in the morning air while Wonwoo safely drives his car, _humming_ to a song familiar – _Who knows how long I've loved you. You know I love you still_ – he had to press _stop_. It takes him back to _their_ duet of this song, I will by The Beatles, and to the soothing voice of Mingyu – _Will I wait a lonely lifetime_. _If you want me to, I will._

How did _**Ob la di, ob-la-da, life goes on, bra** – _the song he was prepared to sing with the Chef – changed into a song with _love you forever_ lyrics?

HAH! He moved to the side of the road to a stop, palms to forehead. _That’s not really Mingyu’s song pick, is it?_

He pressed _play_ button.

_Love you forever and forever  
Love you with all my heart  
Love you whenever we're together  
Love you when we're apart_

_And when at last I find you  
Your song will fill the air  
Sing it loud so I can hear you  
Make it easy to be near you  
For the things you do endear you to me  
You know I will  
I will_

He finished listening to the song, before driving his car of toned-down yellow to a restaurant. He’s supposed to meet his actor friend who came all the way from China.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**“Guess Who!!!”**

Wonwoo laughed and batted the hands covering his eyes, “Moon Junhui, please stop you’re embarrassing me.”

They occupied a table outside the restaurant to take in the fresh air, bicycles passing the distinct morning shadows looked interesting just now, and it takes little time before the street turns warm and crowded– he appreciates this man beside him, mornings can be slow with him, he likes that.

“So, what type of proposal is it this time?” Wonwoo asked raising an eyebrow, smiling to the corners of his cup as the other winked at him, his still-hot coffee tasted better.

“Uh about that, I have to ask you first about your stay here like how have you been? Like a proper friend that I am.” Jun was unable to sit still, “You were thinking so deeply like this-” he mimicked Wonwoo’s stance, “and uh what was on your mind?”

Wonwoo run his hand through his hair, “You wouldn’t believe, I’m in a cooking show,” he laughed weakly, “with Kim Mingyu.”

Jun froze at that and stared at the other with wide eyes, he saw how Wonwoo contorted his face. What can he do? He can just appreciate that Wonwoo could break his character in front of him all the time…he reached for Wonwoo’s open hand, the latter not minding. He comfortably runs his finger to Wonwoo’s fingers before fitting their hands together. They didn’t say anything for a while… “my proposal can wait another time.” But now, he’s more determined about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! ❤❤


	3. Because of...Puing?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One minute he was fuming, then the next, he found himself celebrating, because he just found it - the perfect pink squishy mush. And it all starts there, their story 7 years ago.

** P A S T  **

**7 YEARS AGO** **⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤ ⬤**

“Did you see that wound on his face? I heard that was because he fought with five boys from another school.”

A high-key gossip started, some started gathering, seemingly giving way to the guy who’s currently the talk of the school. It’s been two weeks since the school opened for the year, and the transferee was already labelled – **Gangster/Delinquent**.

But whatever, Wonwoo is deaf to bullshits, _‘Shit. I’ll be late getting home. That homeroom teacher dared to call me out!’_

There were whisperings floating around him – “Look at him, he even has bandages on his hands.” “Ssshhh!” – Unfazed, he was almost kicking as he walks through a circle of student. “You’re in the way! MOVE IT!”

And the dramatic squeals are nothing new.

“AAAAHHHHH!” All attention shifts up to where the girls’ scream came from. Everyone looked up to an open window of the second floor where papers in floral colors fall in seemingly slow motion down to one particular person, _Jeon Wonwoo (19)_.

***SMASHED*** –soft contents bouncing supple to his skin and seeping through thin shirt, adding marks to his favourite jacket, because of course he’s not wearing his uniform.

[The crowd chirps: “…ah the delinquent...” “gangster boy is covered in pudding” “Whoever dropped those, he is dead.”]

Wonwoo lowly cursed, hardly looking up the window, “ **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! COME DOWN HERE!” ****he yelled.**

He rubs at the pink squishy mush, _‘Of all things, why pudding?! The cause of my suffering…’_ But then, his tongue brushed against his lips, tasting the sweet fluff – _what’s with this pudding…?_

_**It’s super delicious!!!** _

His trance was disrupted by, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t intending for that to happen, I’ve brought some pudding as an apolo-” a man taller than average, arm extended to hand him a yellow paper bag.

“HEY!” Wonwoo cuts his sentence, “WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PUDDING?!”

“Huh? Ah actually, I made that myself.”

_HE MADE IT?!_ He pointed at the man, “YOU MADE IT?!”

“Yeah, I’m in the cooking club.”

“COOKING CLUB?!”

Then two girls steps in between, “Y-you know, his mother is a famous chef,” Yeri said, backed up with Joy’s, “He inherited those good skills from her. Both his cooking and sweets are top-notch.”

How the two girls try to nervously tell what happened weren’t really registering to Wonwoo who’s clenching his fist in success because, _I found it!_

_I FINALLY FOUND IT! THIS IS IT. THE ONE I’VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR._

He grabs the man by the familiar necktie, body leaning close as he pulls him down to head level, “Hey, You…”

“H-hey, Stop that. He was sorry okay?” Yeri said, backed up with Joy’s, “Yeah, an accident!!”

**He is one clumsy boy, he kind of admit.** The stretch of his long arm gave way for the piles of pudding to fly out the window. And now, having already exhaled worriedly and letting everything happen before him, **KIM MINGYU** (18) found himself having a good look at the man who’s clenching at his necktie. That familiar line of eyes…how can he forget such outstanding features, that not even his pink sweet treat can hide?

Mingyu’s gaze traced the frame and face of his childhood friend who’s now at the age of youth, how rough and delicate he is at the same time.  One moment he was delighted to hold gaze to sparkling eyes, then the next words drawl out from the other’s lips, almost caused his heart to jump out his chest.

“PLEASE MARRY M-!!!”

Yeri and Joy were holding hands, whilst everyone is silent in anticipation.

** . **

** . **

** . **

** They slowed down to audible happy squeals in a place with vibrant hues, a nursery school? **

“Heeey. Haechannn!”

Mingyu watched as a toddler ran ever so chubby to his childhood friend. He fixed his gaze at the lovely scene.

A while ago, this guy asked him to –

_‘PLEASE MARRY M-!!!’_

_‘MY OLDER SISTER!’_

_Wonwoo completes his statement_

– to do that. Then, Mingyu was dragged here. “Quite a…young older sister you have there.”

Wonwoo crinkled his nose, “What the hell are you saying?”

A lady approached them.

“Mrs. Principal, thank you for always taking care of my nephew, Haechan _(4)_.” _There was no problem today, thank heavens._

“It’s Monday. You’re late today, _Wonwoo_ , but it’s fine. I see that you came with a very good looking friend today.”

Uhhh, Wonwoo looked at the guy beside him, he doesn’t really know his name.

“I’m Kim Mingyu.”

Wonwoo takes a step back to face the guy better, _Kim Mingyu?_

“I’m Wonwoo’s childhood friend.”

With a hand over his mouth, he watched the other carefully. _This guy is my Minguuu? Really?_ The guy is taller than him, wow… how could he ever recognize when that was not the case in the past…

“That’s nice,” the principal smiled. “Wonwoo is such an admirable boy for coming here every morning and afternoon, also with night schedules, to pick up his nephew in his sister’s place. He’s a really good younger brother, you know.”

‘ _Younger brother?_ ’ Mingyu tries to put the pieces together.

The principal turns to Wonwoo, “Today, Haechan didn’t take his afternoon nap so maybe on your way home, he will be asleep,” she laughs.

“Ah, you’re right,” he agreed at the way Haechan whines and snuggles to his warmth.

** . **

** . **

** . **

**With the setting sun came a sky of gold and tangerines stretching far and wide.**

Wonwoo walks side by side with his childhood friend, just like old times, except Kim Mingyu is taller now and Wonwoo has Haechan on his back softly sleeping.

“…In other words, Haechan is the child of your older sister?”

“That’s right. He’s my nephew.” Wonwoo glanced back to chubby cheeks, “My older sister is a trainee doctor so she’s super busy. That’s why I’m taking care of him now.”

_Ah, that’s right…he have that smile_. _This is my childhood friend_ , Wonwoo thought and continued to examine the taller’s features.

Mingyu easily carry both of their bags, “So you’re saying you want me to marry her?”

“Half a year ago, my sister divorced and came back here.”

“…but what does it have to do with me marrying her?”

Wonwoo turns away, “…because Haechan…loves delicious pudding. My sister’s ex-husband is very good at cooking so, when they were still married, he often made homemade pudding for Haechan. That’s why we want to make him some at home but…” The visual of his sister in the kitchen flashes back and the intense disbelief is back, “Seulgi noona who has Zero skills in doing housework, caused the microwave to explode…”

Mingyu was slowly backing off, “I see…”

“I also tried making it many times but the puddings I made were all tasteless and terrible. I cook every day. The food’s not that bad but pudding is on a whole different level!”

“Every day? Don’t tell me… Wonwoo, you’re the one preparing the meals at home? How about your mother?”

There was a silent pause as they walk a pace slower.

“She passed away _four_ years ago.”

Wonwoo eyed Mingyu and properly secures Haechan on his back. “You don’t need to make a face like you’ve said something wrong. I’m totally fine now, y’know? At first, it was horrible though. That’s the reason we went to Japan 12 years ago, because of her condition. My mom was a cheerful person and good at housework. While we were grieving, steadily our house became messy. At that time, _my sister came back home with a child in her arms._ I really thought we’d be in trouble for sure. Then there was a great opportunity for my sister here in Korea, she was accepted in this top hospital for residency. So, my dad decided to send us back here.”

Mingyu nods.

“Thanks to Haechan, I was able to be positive again. When Haechan laughs, the atmosphere around him becomes brighter. And I realized this kid still doesn’t know about the painful things in this world…I just want him to always smile. I don’t want Haechan to feel lonely or lack anything. My father and sister are busy with their own work. So I thought I have to do my best.  But I'm still lacking, ” He showed Mingyu his bandaged hand, “I still get fresh wounds on me.”

Mingyu moves closer, fixing his gaze, "what happened?”

“When I was making the pudding, I got burned.”

“Even that wound on your face?”

“This is…when Haechan was half-asleep, he scratched me.”

Mingyu remembered that the students obviously labeled Wonwoo as some gangster, along the lines of troublemaker,

… _and_ _it wasn’t true_.

Mingyu watched Wonwoo sighed up to look at the skies, face aglow with orange rays.

“I need to do my best on things at home! Even so, it’s not like I can become Haechan’s father. I don’t think that he'll show Seulgi noona that he’s lonely since Haechan is thinking about her too…”

They continued to walk home. “Even about the pudding, ever since my sister failed in making it, he has never once said that he wants to eat pudding.” Wonwoo glanced back at Haechan’s sleeping face, “…But, I…I want to feed him tasty pudding and find a good father for him. That’s why…”

“Wonwoo…” Mingyu wasn’t able to finish his words.

Wonwoo cheerfully cuts to, “If you marry my sister, everything will be settled! The pudding you made is so perfect.”

_‘How about my own will…?’_ Mingyu thought.

“Ooh! We’re here. Come on in.”

** . **

** . **

** . **

** “Haechan. We’re home.” **

Haechan is on the floor rubbing his eyes, “Uhn…”

“Take off your jacket,” Wonwoo kneeled to help his nephew, “wait a little more and you can sleep, okay?”

Mingyu was sitting on the floor watching the two, “Wonwoo. I can help you wash Haechan’s hands.”

“Thank you. The washroom is over there.”

He smiles and started the baby talk as he carried the boy in his arms.

Mingyu placed him on the baby platform near the sink and showered compliments at how Haechan can slowly and carefully wash his own hands but sleepily so.  “Wash them thoroughly~ thoroughly~ Aigoo! yeppeo~”

The little one had his bright eyes twinkling up at the tall man.

Mingyu lifts him up, heartily. “You are Haechan. I’m Mingyu.”

“Mingoo~” the child copied, his lips forming an ‘o’.

_ It's so cute. _

They're back into the living room space.

“Mingooo smells nice~” Haechan rubs his little nose on the soft fabric.

Mingyu had to sniff himself, “Do I really?"

_Ah, the pudding’s smell…_

“OH~ HAECHAN!” Wonwoo was fixing his apron, with the color of the brightest sunflower. He approached the two, “You’re getting along well with him already~ WAY TO GO, MINGYU!”

Mingyu stared at the other, he cannot look away. He lets Wonwoo take Haechan from his arms. He also lets Wonwoo beam at the child with the words, “He’ll become your father soon, y’know?”

“What’s with that appearance?” Mingyu finally asked.

Wonwoo playfully nuzzles his nephew, “Since my clothes will get dirty when I do housework, I always wear this at home.”.

Haechan was giggling against Wonwoo's cheek.

“Haechan. Mingyu made some tasty pudding for you."

The child’s eyes sparkles at the word, “Puing?!”

**There's a big cup of pudding in front of the little one.**

They're now properly seated at the dining space. The  child was almost climbing on the table to see.

“Haechan. We should give thanks to Mingyu.” At that, Wonwoo pulled Haechan to his side and they happily chorused,

_“Mingu”_ “Mingoo”~

_“Thank you!”_ “twonk you!”~

Haechan opens his mouth and tastes a spoonful of pudding. He stays like that, eyes twinkling.

“Wow, he’s impressed,” Wonwoo comments.

Haechan is suddenly a presence shining in between Wonwoo and Mingyu.

*FLOPS* The spoon was placed on the table.

Wonwoo leans down, “What’s wrong, Haechan? You won’t eat it?”

“…hnn. I’ll give this to Mama and Onu.” Haechan clumsily picks the cup a size bigger than his tiny hands and supports it with his chubby tumms, handing it to his Onu, “I give you~”

Wonwoo’s eyes glistens, “Hae-”

“Haechan. Mama and Jeonunu will each have one too,” Mingyu said patting the kid’s head. “So you can eat it all.”

The kid's eyes brightened up with a smile, “Mingoo~ twonk you!”

“You’re wel-” Mingyu saw Wonwoo’s tear stained face, “Wonwoo…?”

“…!!” Wonwoo hides his face and tries to wipe his tears.

Haechan noticed, “!! Onu! What’s wrong?”

Wonwoo watched Haechan reaching for him as Mingyu tried to balance the boy on the chair.

Haechan is getting teary, lips thinning into sad waves, “I don’t want to see… Onu crying~ WAAAAAAAH”

The kid is now a sobbing mess.

Wonwoo panicked, “Hae…Haechan…!”

Wonwoo felt a strong hand tilt his head up only to see Mingyu’s face now inches away from him. He holds on to the sobbing Haechan. Mingyu’s fingers rests gently on his head and Wonwoo stares at those kind orbs, “If you cry, it’ll make Haechan cry, too.”

Wonwoo leans away with the sobbing child gripping at his hold.

“…I don’t want to cry either…!” wiping uncontrollable tears, “I look so pathetic.”

Wonwoo leans down to Haechan’s level to console him tenderly,  “because I…can’t even make him a tasty pudding…”

Mingyu stayed silent.

Wonwoo continues to look down. He heard Mingyu’s low voice, “…if it’s pudding, I can make it for you every day.”

_Huh?_

“Wonwoo, let’s get married.”

_WHAT?!!_

Wonwoo blinked back his tears; even Haechan’s facial expression seems lost as they faced Mingyu. The latter continued,

“Wonwoo. I can’t marry your older sister…because I’m going to marry you.”

⬤⬤⬤

**3 DAYS LATER.**

To be around his friends, enclosed in soft music along with the aroma of coffee and fresh baked bread, Wonwoo is sure, he needed this.

The royal blue paint glistens under warm lights. He just told Jun and Jeonghan everything, well, no, not the part where Mingyu said that he wants to marry him – that bit is _crazy_ there’s no other word for it.

“This shit’s tiny!” Soonyoung grabbed a chair. Jeonghan threw a coffee bean at him with words, “Shut up, you’re late.”

Soonyoung pointed at Junhui, “And you just ditched a shoot, Seungcheol told me.” He looked around trying to be comfortable. It's the first time for them to gather in this café, tiny and surrounded by huge buildings. “What did I miss while you all cut classes?”

“YAH! We didn’t.” Jeonghan retorts, “Wonwoo wants his childhood friend to …” A soft voice cuts his sentence – “Hello. These are your drinks.” – in perfect English. He lets Wonwoo continue his words as his gaze followed the man who gave them their drinks. TSK TSK. Jeonghan rolled his eyes at the audible dislike from Jun.

“You have a girlfriend hyung, what was her name again?"

Jeonghan shrugs and just watched the boy from a far, “I think I might break up with Jeongyeon later.”

Wonwoo shakes his head in disapproval, “this is why they call me gangster and stuff, I’m hanging out with you guys.” He crinkled his nose, laughing at the look that the three gave him.

“A new study reports that the smell of Fresh Baked Bread makes you a kinder person,” Soonyoung messily breaks a cinnamon bun into three, “You bad people need some.” His friends gave out exasperated sighs and ate their share anyways, “that phrase was shared to me, too. Isn’t it cool to know facts and statistics shits?” He then glanced at Wonwoo, “Mingyu knows statistics, too. I knew him from a friend, he’s fun.” He likes the idea that two of his friends are childhood friends and that Wonwoo is getting close to people he knows as well.

“Yeah. You all know him and basically he’s perfect,” _He is, really._ Wonwoo tilts his head, “Not that I’m hoping someone would say he’s an arrogant giant or y’know…” _his mother is famous, too._ “I just don’t know what to give to excellent people like that.”

“HAH! You gave me this white jacket,” Jeonghan pointed to what he’s wearing – “You gave me this cool cap,” Jun snickered, followed by Soonyoung’s, “you gave me heat packs, why?” – Jeonghan crossed his arm with a sly smile, “I’m so offended, Jeon Wonwoo.”

“Yeah, guess we made it easy for him, huh? because we’re not excellent people.” Jun sings the last words.

They laughed at Wonwoo’s small, _“you guys know what I mean.”_

Jun  became silent and watched as Jeonghan tricks Hoshi into getting the waiter’s number. He whispered, “Don’t give Mingyu anything,” for only Wonwoo to hear, “You didn’t tell him to do those stuffs for you and Haechan. It’s the guy’s choice.” Jun offered a concerned smile.

“You’re right.”

** . **

** . **

** . **

**Wonwoo heard a familiar voice – _“…glad I can help, Jisoo!”_ – Mingyu’s voice.**

He spotted the tall figure that is also about to leave the café with his friend, Seokmin, as Jeonghan called the man with sharp features.

At that, he had to smile at Mingyu’s way… _Uhh, what should I say?_

“Jeon Wonwoo, right?” Seokmin chirps, “You’ve been late numerous times so during the attendance taking, you’re never there…You stand out,” the words didn’t mean to sound with distaste, “You’re already the number one delinquent in our school.”

Wonwoo didn't bother to explain.

Seokmin continued, “…but Mingyu told me things about you.”

Wonwoo glanced at Mingyu, _really?_

“ _Whatever_ you said to this guy,” Junhui said with lips pointing from Mingyu to Dokyeom, “W _hatever_. We don’t want to know.”

Soonyoung laughs and blurted, “We don’t have classes now, so this doesn’t count as cutting classes, just saying.” Not connected but he felt the need to say it. 

Mingyu bites down on his lower lip and okay just say it, “Wonwoo. Do you want to-”

Seokmin beats Mingyu, “We have to go see your mother, remember?” He looked at his watch, “Let’s go. This is why everyone is calling me your manager,” And leaving after.

Mingyu laughs and excused himself, _okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH. Thank you for reading!!! Leave a comment. Keep safe everyone!


	4. A little more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> then I'll go...

**P R E S E N T**

**At SCE Broadcasting Station.**

They gathered at the conference room to discuss the rating of the aired 1st episode last week. The PD revealed the digit to be 8 % an average rating greater than other shows of the same time slot, “…as expected of Kim Mingyu.”

Everyone clapped.

“Now, for the first episode, we made sure that Wonwoo had more screen time than Hyuna. Well, thanks to Mingyu, too… for saving interesting questions for Wonwoo.”

The PD looks at the two and nods, “You got chemistry,” humming as he clicks something, the projector showing the bit where Mingyu called Wonwoo _‘PUDDING’_ unintentionally. “That’s chemy.”

Mingyu and Wonwoo exchanged glances.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, “childish” he said lowly. He hates the smirk that he received from the man sitting across him. The PD starts a short lecture about the vital role of having chemistry, he almost fell asleep.

“I was totally happy when you both showed the whole world how you can communicate at each other in _three_ languages!” The PD beamed.

The assistant director steps in with a proud smile, “First, when Mingyu _translated_ Wonwoo’s **Japanese** introduction to Hangul and after that, Wonwoo spoke **Hangul** throughout the show. The third language is your song duet in **English** ,” she reminded everyone.

The PD projected _the naver page_ at the screen.

 _That is crazy there’s no other word for it_. Wonwoo’s name is the 3rd most searched words in naver. Second is their show and the no. 1 and trending is none other than _‘I will by The Beatles.’_

Wonwoo puts on his cold facade with the look that he gave Mingyu. _G_ _ood job for picking that song, Kim Mingyu_. Then, he turns away with the silence of his thoughts.

Mingyu pursed his lips as his mind drifts to their song duet, he faced the other… it still bothers him why Wonwoo picked a song like that.

Mingyu covered a smile with his hand and pretended to listen in front. _The weather is suddenly a good weather._

“Some articles critique that the first episode had to be battles like every other cooking shows,” The PD paused, “Well, some cooking shows does that, I acknowledge. We’re not just a cooking show though, right?”

He (PD) waited for some ‘Right’ and continued, “We will show our diversity, so for the next episode…” he turns to Wonwoo, “We will barge in to your house and cook whatever is in your fridge.” He puts a finger in the air to add, “But, we will not set the date. It’s also fine if you only have potatoes in the fridge. Mingyu can do something about that.”

The PD stops whatever Mingyu wanted to say, “My team is ready so you too can prepare or not. It’s great to have some realness and thrill. I’m counting on everyone!”

**.**

**.**

**.**

**That afternoon.** “Yah! I’m screwed.”

Mingyu whined as he takes in the scent of lavender, the delicate blooms in one of Seungkwan's old jam jars. The scent brings out the delicate hue of the walls in the very same shade. “I’m glad you’re working here, Seungkwan.” Seungkwan is a popular news anchor in SCE broadcasting station.

Mingyu groaned, “Ah! I’m screwed.”

“You’re overreacting.” Seungkwan leans back to his chair to properly give his guest the attention needed, “You are NOT screwed. You are here in SCE and your own show airs every Thursday. Per-fect.”

Mingyu sulks nonetheless.

Seungkwan then slapped his own thigh in delight, “You’re just nervous because you will be in Wonwoo’s house and there’s a bed there,” and laughs, guiltily.

“You don’t need to remind me of that. We are talking about his fridge here…” Mingyu’s voice was a pitch higher than he wanted. He already told Seungkwan about Wonwoo’s dirty schemes.

He looked at Seungkwan with eyes saying ‘help’.

“Okay. I don’t know shit about potatoes. That’s your job.” Seungkwan gave his friend his calling card for his night time radio broadcast, Mr. Jeju Radio. “You can contact me there with problems I can actually solve. At least help me with my ratings.”

Mingyu takes the card.

Seungkwan smiled, “But it’s okay if you don’t use your name, even ‘ **Aristotle** ’ is fine, whatever.”

“Aristotle? what a joke,” Mingyu laughs shaking his head, “I mean, his works are not a joke. I can always support you by staying here, Seungkwan.”

Mingyu walked to the big space of his friend’s office and stretched his body to a comfortable position on the sofa.

“No, No. This is a No, Kim Mingyu! You have to leave. I still have an appointment with Jihoon here.”

Mingyu perks his head at what Seungkwan said. Jihoon is their best friend who now owns an entertainment company, _SIMPLE Ent_. He smiled, “Great, Jihoon would be happy to see me.”

**.**

**.**

**.**

Actually Jihoon only came to ask Seungkwan to guest his label’s group that just returned from their world tour. Yet they ended up with lots of laughs and good food delivery. It’s already time for Mr. Jeju Radio, **9PM**.

On their way out, Mingyu saw Wonwoo's manager, Kahi. He told Jihoon to wait for him. He’ll ask Wonwoo to join them visit Jisoo’s coffee shop tonight.

“I’m not so sure what he’s up to. We call days like this as Wonwoo’s free day. And I’m here to talk to PD Choi, he needs to consult me about the date of the shooting, basically when to crash Wonwoo’s house,” Kahi laughs and rubs her nape, “I’m sorry about the lemons and chilli on the first episode.”

Mingyu nods, “It’s okay.”

After some exchanges, they went their ways.

Mingyu saw Jihoon at the entrance with excited hands waving for him to move faster.

“What took you so long? I just talked to Wonwoo! He looks good." Jihoon sends a meaningful smile, “I still can’t believe you’re in this show together.”

Mingyu shakes his head, “Actually, me too. It’s Wonwoo's free day today. Did you inform him we're going to Jisoo's coffee shop?”

They stepped out of the building. The city lights dance to the night air, full of life.

Jihoon nods, “Wonwoo was in a hurry though, so he can't tonight."

"Why?" 

"He said he needs to go to this bar…”

"What's so good about this bar?" There was a sulk in Mingyu's tone.

“said his manager is there and that she's drunk so he –”

Mingyu stops their tracks.

_I just talked to Kahi._

The noise of the night is making him dizzy in worry. “Did I heard it, right? Wonwoo's manager is in some bar? Oh no, what the fuck-”

**Mingyu is now nervously driving his car when great timing, he saw Wonwoo hops in a taxi cab.**

“PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE, JEON WONWOO!” He was honking his car in impatience.

“C’mon…” He can even hear his own car screeching.

He’s trying to contact him and he couldn’t concentrate.

“…!!!”

THEN, Of course, the worst happened.

Mingyu angrily smashed whatever and slumps…

_I lost him._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**The banging music and bar lights are overwhelming, the smoke twisted in its artistic way.**

A sharp smell of drink wafts towards **Jeon Wonwoo** , a guy just handed him a glass of red liquid – _nice but this has to wait_.

Everyone acts the same, cheers at the same moment, feels the same...it wasn’t long before he reached his destination. Conversations swirl in a dirty cloud of smoke and he was lead to the VIP Room. The stagnant stench of cigarettes hides within the walls.

_It’s empty._

Is he in the wrong room? Of course.

_Damn. Manager-nim is not answering her phone._

The room opened in a loud bang and a drunken girl was tossed in the VIP room.

Wide eyes, Wonwoo stepped back, “Uhm. Excuse me. This is not the drunk girl that I’m looking for,” he shouts.

No answer from outside.

He sharply looked at the girl, “What are you doing, lady? Look at you. You are putting yourself in danger. I’m getting out of here. Move.” He raised his hands up, “I’m not going to touch you.”

“You probably should…” the girl said, with _danger_ evident in her smile, “touch me… because even if you don’t _,_ **I’m still getting out of here to report that you did.** ”

_Huh?_

She stands up, “What? Look at you. You are putting yourself in danger.” She laughs hysterical, “Why did you come back to Korea?”

_What?_

Wonwoo’s knees almost gave up… _this is a set-up? there's no other word for it._

The girl touched Wonwoo’s chest and shifts them to an angle. Perfectly acting like he just pushed her down. She saw how pale he became and could almost feel him tremble with just a glance, “Just like that, come here and touch me. Hihi. This is so easy…”

_No…_

**.**

**.**

**.**

**THE DOOR SLAMMED OPEN.**

Huffing. Kim Mingyu met Wonwoo’s terrified eyes. His gaze shifting to a girl who was putting a belt on her own neck…Wonwoo’s belt.

“JEON WONWOO!!! COME HERE!” He watched the man clumsily move and _run past him_.

Mingyu watched Wonwoo’s retreating figure…but he can’t just leave this girl here.

_What the fuck is this mess?_

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**The cold wind zaps at his skin.** Wonwoo can’t seem to stop flinching. He was able to run away from the scene lightheaded.

He brushed a streak of cold sweat with a clammy hand. He quickly fixed his pants. People are looking at him weirdly. He wraps his arms around himself.

_Why did I come back to Korea?_

Mingyu’s face registered in his mind and what’s this feeling? He feels his eyes burning.

**“Wonwoo?”**

Wonwoo looks up to Junhui’s questioning gaze.

And seconds later, he’s enveloped in Jun’s arms…it’s warm and _he lets himself cry_.

With eyes closed, he can only see Mingyu – when Mingyu opened that door…when Mingyu called his name – and how much he wanted to run to him… but he can’t bring himself to…

He can’t bring to trust him and that makes his heart beat even more painful than it already is.

“Can I say my proposal now?” Jun hugs the sobbing man, “Come with me to China, you can be popular there too, I’ll help you.” He rests his chin on top of Wonwoo’s head, hushing sweetly.

**“…”**

Mingyu witnessed Wonwoo melt into someone else’s arms.

He stayed at that spot where time slows and it does nothing to ease the loneliness within him.

_A little more,_ he wants to stay…

 _A little more_ , then he’ll go...

It was a miracle that Wonwoo told Woozi the name of the bar. The latter told Mingyu through the phone.

It was a miracle that he found Wonwoo. He contacted the chief police himself. There’s no way that he’d let that woman get away with this.

The most important is… _Wonwoo is okay_.

**.**

**.**

**.**

“Hello to our lucky caller! There is no problem that Mr. Jeju Radio can’t solve!”

“Hi. This is **Aristotle**.”

“…A-Aristotle. What do you want to share to us?”

“Did you ever feel like crashing to everyone’s car because you’re so nervous nothing else matter? Did you ever run while holding your breath because you’re afraid? I’ve shouted the loudest tonight and I was sweeping away everyone in my way and...” A pause.

"And?"

“I found him,” his voice, shaky, “I thought I finally found him but the truth is… _I lost him.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! AH Let me know if you like the story far? Keep safe :)


	5. Attached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'But what can I give him in return? Marriage is out of the question.'

**P A S T**

The blooms on the streets are already out seemingly declaring the delightful springtime. All the more reason for Wonwoo to love walking this familiar course to their house. Beside him, Mingyu is carrying the sleeping Haechan.

And Wonwoo can really say that warmer days are coming.

**Mingyu is used to their large home, but he prefers it cozy and friendly just like Wonwoo’s.** He appreciates it more when the latter asked for his help with these huge indoor plants. Mingyu hoped he reunited with Wonwoo sooner. So he could stay in this house during winters and feel totally warm.

Actually, he likes Wonwoo’s earthy tone aesthetics.

 _Actually, he likes Wonwoo_.

He is drawing something with Haechan. The two of them are waiting for Wonwoo in the living room when little Haechan gave him a picture frame. Mingyu takes both the frame and Haechan. He finds himself smiling as he remembers the young boy in the picture.

_My childhood friend, my Jeonunu_.

In the shot, a familiar lady took her selfie with little Wonwoo, who's floating at the edge of a swimming pool. And there seems to be a grandstand of cheering audience in the background. It's clear that it's from an outdoor swimming tournament.

**“…! YAH! Don’t touch that!”** Wonwoo takes the picture frame from Mingyu’s hand, unaware that his nephew jolts at the raging act. “This shouldn’t be here!”

Wonwoo looks at Haechan, who was tearing up and clinging – almost crawling – closer to Mingyu. He softens up as he reached for the little boy, “…I’m sorry did I scare you, Haechan?”

Haechan clutched at Mingyu’s clothes refusing to be taken away.

**The picture was a time machine.** One glance and Wonwoo is back in his childhood years _with his mother_.

When his mother continued to support him to swimming competitions. The days where she coaches him stretching so his muscles won't sore that bad, to days when HER condition was bad but still manages to watch him from the audience, and then to days when he can’t find her in the crowd at all.

“I have cakes! Who’s going to eat with me? Do you like cakes, Haechan?” Mingyu tried to lighten up the atmosphere.

And of course, it’s a great way to ease tension. 

**.**

**.**

**.**

“Waaah~ Mingoo, you’re amazing. _It’s bear-san_!” Haechan's eyes are sparkling at the cake with a doodle of a bear at the center.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I like bear-san~♡” Haechan's cheeks rounding fluffy with his giggles. “Wow…Onu’s cake is also cute.”

Wonwoo holds it in, “Yah, Kim Mingyu…what do you mean by this?”

_A_ _fox face cake_?

Mingyu straightened, “something wrong?”

Wonwoo stands up with hands supported by the table, “You obviously know what I'm talking about about!”

“ONUUU!” Haechan shouts, “Buwwying Mingoo is…not good~!”

Wonwoo steps back as he received a scolding from the child.

“Hae- Haechan…” _I’m the one being bullied here…_ Wonwoo felt like slumping on the ground miserable while the two ignore him and continued to lovingly chat –

“It’s fluffy~♡” Haechan commented brightly.

Mingyu, the only shining star reflected in the kid’s twinkling eyes, said, “You’re gonna spill it”

Haechan giggles against Mingyu's cheek.

_'Haechan is completely attached to him after just less than two weeks_ …' Wonwoo thought. And he continued to observe.

_Mingyu is unexpectedly good at taking care of kids_. _His amazing skills! All of these fit my original plan of getting Mingyu to marry my sister and become Haechan’s father…That should be the ideal plan except…_

“…I see.” Mingyu wipes off the crumbs on the little one’s lips. With Haechan now on his lap and sweetly secured in his hold, Mingyu leans to the comfort of his chair as he visualize, “So this is what life would be like **if I were to marry Wonwoo…** ”

_You’ve got the partner wrong!_

Wonwoo buried his face in his arms on the table.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m consulting the table, leave me alone.”

The pair advised him to eat the dessert.

“…Mingyu, you see, I’m grateful for you making desserts for Haechan every day. But, I can’t marry you.”

Mingyu gently wipes Haechan’s lips, “…I’m not making desserts because of such a clear ulterior motive. My motto is… **One good deed begets another**.” He watched Haechan reach for Wonwoo, “It means if you want to achieve happiness, you must first show kindness to others.”

_Huh?_

Wonwoo takes Haechan, even the kid looks clueless.

Mingyu continued, “so don’t worry about anything and just accept it...” handing the cake to Wonwoo.

“Your confusing speech made me even more tired,” Wonwoo crinkled his nose.

His nephew has a spoonful of cake in the air, “Onuuu, ahhhhh.”

Wonwoo smiles, opens his mouth, “AHH” and munches at the softness...

_It’s fluffy._ “ **It’s good…”**

_It’s true that sweet things always make me feel better. It might be because Mingyu has good cooking skills._

Mingyu looked away, “…is that so?”

Wonwoo can’t help but stare…the look on Mingyu’s face, _is he embarrassed_...? _So he can make…that kind of face, too._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**The city lights glitters down its hues on the led lights spelled out as ‘ _Shua’s_ ’.**

At this late hour, the interior of the café is still warm and cheery.

Soonyoung is designing tomorrow’s coffee board with a tiger character at the side. “It’s **10:10pm** already!” He shouts excitedly and showed everyone his work. He then handed it to Jisoo who was done flipping the sign at the door to ‘CLOSED’.

Yes, Soonyoung had learned that the tiny café closes at 10pm. Yes, he’s now friends with the owner’s son – with that english name ‘ _Shua’s_ ’ at the front – also, this guy is now Jeonghan’s boyfriend.

Jisoo comfortably sits beside Jeonghan, glancing outside every now and then. His boyfriend’s hand slides to his side unconsciously and he smiles at Jun’s comment about his new relationship. As this unfolds, the youngest continues to gush about Wonwoo and Mingyu’s relationship.

Jisoo clears his throat, “I, uhm, Mingyu just can’t say no. Maybe, he’s just helping Wonwoo,” he didn’t want to break Chan’s hopes and dreams. But Jisoo is friends with Mingyu for the longest time more than anyone in this room, “ _it’s true_ like that’s why everyone falls for him so easily. They always misunderstood his intentions like that.”

“But, I saw them yesterday,” Chan stands up, “Everyone, hear me out. When I saw them, I was like ‘what’s this?’ it’s…wow. I feel like an outsider, I didn’t say anything.”

No reaction.

Chan continued, “Okay Jisoo hyung has a point, but everyone in this room except our ‘Shua’ – Jeonghan throws the words, “MY shua” – is supposedly closer to Wonwoo. He looks happy! Hyung?”

“They look good together, yeah,” Soonyoung agrees, “we can just say that they’d be a cute couple.” He laughs at Chan’s enthusiastic, “Right!” He then told everyone that he has to go but Seokmin and Seungkwan enters the café... and his plans changed.

“Mingyu is not here?” Seokmin asks and checks the clock, “That guy, really. He just turned down an offer to be an endorser for MIX clothing brand.”

"Isn't that the famous brand with hot actors as endorsers?" Soonyoung asked, looking bashful when Seokmin looks his way to nod at his words.

Seokmin sighed exasperated, “It’s so unlike him.” A coffee bean was thrown his way, “Ah…Yoon Jeonghan.” _Right, Jisoo is now with this famous player._ But to be honest, he’s gotten fonder of Jeonghan as time goes by.

“Should we have more nachos?” Seungkwan suggests, “can we still make burgers tonight?” jumping excited when Jisoo silently went to the mini kitchen with his now boyfriend, Jeonghan. “Perfect. What was the hot topic for tonight?”

Chan answered, “It’s still amazing that we’re gathered like this after one week of knowing that Mingyu is Wonwoo’s childhood friend.”

Seungkwan nods at the expected intro and lets the other continue.

“We were discussing. And having a bet – Jun playfully hits Chan, “we are not!” – that Wonwoo and Mingyu will be a couple, what are the odds?”

Seungkwan crossed his arms at that.

 _“_ Again with that topic but you’re now gambling?” Hansol voiced.

“Yah! You’ll give me a heart attack. When did you get here?” Seungkwan huffs.

Hansol comebacks, “Don’t over react.”

“You always do this!” Seungkwan whines some more.

“YAAAH!” Someone yells from the kitchen, “Seungcheol says not to gamble!”

Jeonghan peeks outside and shows his phone under warm lights, “You’re on speaker, Seungcheol.”

Everyone listened. Chan wraps his arms around Jun wanting to hide.

Seungcheol started, “Kids. **Don’t mess around with feelings**. And tomorrow, we’ll play soccer. Tell Mingyu and Wonwoo. And Jihoon. Okay?”

Everyone shouts ‘OKAY’. End call.

“Everyone knows they like each other.” Seokmin leans back on his chair and looks up. He’s been hanging out with them lately. Of course, he wants to see Mingyu getting all blushed and happy, “But I hope Kim Mingyu doesn’t miss opportunities like yesterday’s –”

Seungkwan cuts in with a clap, “speaking of opportunities!!! PERFECT. WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME AND SEOKMIN GUEST ON A SHOW? WE’LL HAVE 3 EPISODES AND WILL PROMOTE IT TO MUSIC SHOWS AND RADIOS AND STUFFS!”

**⬤⬤⬤**

**The next day.** That familiar Ding~Dong and there’s no running the corridor to enter the class late this time, instead, Wonwoo with his chin on his hand, watches from the window...how the trees wand their limbs in a stretch to the clear skies with so many polka dots of new buds bravely seeking the morning sun.

_For some reason, I become strange whenever I’m with Kim Mingyu._

‘ **One good deed begets another** ,’ _Mingyu said that, but..._

_being the only one to receive it makes me feel bad somehow…_

_He’s making me feel bothered about this._

_But what can I give him in return?_ _Marriage is out of the question._

Wonwoo slumps on the desk. _This is hard…_ A comfortable position resting his head on his arm, he closed his eyes, softly breathes –

_It’s been a while since I’ve thought about something else aside from my family matters_

_–_ and slowly he drifts off to sleep.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Soonyoung walks back to class because Wonwoo wasn’t where he’s supposed to be, but he stops his tracks when he saw the latter talking to…Mingyu?

“We’re moving to the audio visual room,” Mingyu informed Wonwoo.

From where he's hiding, Soonyoung gazed at his friend who’s obviously fresh from sleep.

Wonwoo then asked Mingyu, “What are you doing here?”

“Since you’d be in trouble if you don’t know where the next class is, right?” Mingyu says, tilting his head and pressing his lips together as he waits for Wonwoo.

Soonyoung softly smiles heading back to AV room. _Chan’s right, it’s better to not say anything than interrupt the two. It’s good to know that Wonwoo won’t be skipping class for today, or maybe every day? since Mingyu makes sure that Wonwoo wouldn’t be in trouble huh._

He can’t seem to forget the look on Wonwoo’s face…

_It must be a great feeling for him to blush like that._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**“Yah! Everyone is out here in the soccer field. It’s 3pm, Kim Mingyu. Where are you?”** Seungkwan asks tapping his feet at the grass finally Kim Mingyu answered his call, “Okay, perfect, bring your asses here right away.” End call.

Seungkwan told the rest that Mingyu and Wonwoo are on their way, “I mean, we’re here because of them but they’re here getting late doing who knows what, who does that?” He shakes his head.

“It’s okay, even Jeonghan isn’t here yet, we can wait,” Jun said, jumping back when he saw Jisoo, “Where is your boyfriend? You’re supposed to be…” his index fingers meets to a touch touch motion to imply ‘together’.

Jisoo shrugs and looks down, “I’m here for Mingyu and Wonwoo.”

 _'Are they fighting? Is Jeonghan playing around again? I hope not.'_ Jun stayed silent.

“We all are.” Hansol speaks.

Seungkwan jolts with the same, “When did you get here?” thrown at Hansol.

Seokmin composed himself, “They’re here. Everyone let’s clap,” he ushered the group of friends.

They comically welcomed the pair with their _sarcastic_ applause.

Of course, Seokmin didn’t like that Mingyu is getting late like this because of Jeon Wonwoo, but he smiles anyways because they can finally start the game.

Seungcheol holds Jihoon’s hand, “We are…” he purposely paused, “the team captains.”

The oldest informed everyone.

Seungcheol walked beside Wonwoo

Jihoon walked beside Mingyu.

Well, not just because they are closer to that person but also Seokmin suggested that the two won’t be in the same team together. “Kids, attention…” Seungcheol points at the loud Seungkwan and Chan, “Listen. We all know why we’re here at this hour, right? Wonwoo needs to pick up his nephew so he has to go home earlier than any of us.”

Wonwoo met his friend’s gaze with grateful ones, and meekly voiced, “Yeah, if I’m late, the teachers will have to look after Haechan. I don’t want them to overtime because of me…Sorry for the inconvenience, guys.”

Seungkwan watched how Mingyu lovingly ruffled Wonwoo’s hair. _That’s cute, but knowing Mingyu, that guy will crush Wonwoo in that soccer field, he’s that competitive._

“YAAAWR!” Soonyoung hypes everyone, “Let’s get started!!!”

Everyone got to their positions while seemingly every step someone is complaining of the weather. Wonwoo watched the grass field stretch from green hues as it deepens and lightens in the sun rays. His face was apologetic and Junhui wraps his arm around him with the words, “It’s not that hot, it will get hotter the coming days so it’s better to do this now.”

Jisoo nudges Mingyu, “What’s with that face? Like someone’s jealous over here,” he laughs when Mingyu brushed him off with, “Who’s jealous?” and continued walking while glancing at Jun and Wonwoo every now and then.

The game started! Everyone could feel the adrenaline.

Soonyoung was bursting with passion because his curse is kicking in – he can’t seem to win against Jeon Wonwoo. The look on the latter beaming at him is making him crazy. He was catching his breath when he heard someone complain about Kim Mingyu.

There was that tension that people crave....

But then, it’s gone, instead, everyone face palms – even shouting “KIM MINGYU WTF,” “KIM MINGYU YOU RUINED EVERYTHING,” “AH WAAAAAEEEE” – because Kim Mingyu is running around trying to protect Wonwoo (his opponent) from Soonyoung (his teammate).

**Team Jihoon** won.

The team captain climbs off Mingyu’s back, “Next Tuesday is Mingyu’s birthday! We should celebrate and have these losers pay.”

 _Did I hear it right?_ “Birthday?” Before Wonwoo could ask further...

Mingyu beats him to it, “About that, I won’t be able to come over your house next Tuesday, so I’ll give you the snacks in school first thing that day.”

Wonwoo nods.

Mingyu then inform everyone, “My mom’s taking the day off that day. We’re going to celebrate my birthday. So we can probably move our own celebration later, maybe Friday? It’s okay, I’ll pay.” Everyone cheered.

_Hm? Birthday…? That’s it! This is perfect._ Wonwoo cheers for a different reason.

**THAT NIGHT.**

**“Haechan, were todays snacks yummy too?” “Yeah”**

“You like Mingoo, right?” “Yeah! I love him.”

“Then, why don’t the two of us, do something for his birthday?”

The kid’s eyes twinkle at the idea. “Birthday? A party. Party!” Reaching for his Onu while cheering, “Yay! When a’ we dwing it?”

Wonwoo takes Haechan in his arm, **“Let’s not wait and do it tomorrow!”**

A shower of ‘Yays!’ fill the air.

_I know at least this much, Mingyu! That is to strike while the iron is hot._

**⬤⬤⬤**

**THE NEXT DAY. “…Hey.” Mingyu looked back at the fidgeting Wonwoo who has Haechan in his arms.** “You’re acting strange today.”

They are heading to the familiar path to Wonwoo’s house under golden skies.

“…HUH?!” Wonwoo backs away, “Th- That’s not true!” He stutters.

Haechan followed with, “NOT TRUE” waving his little arms to a ‘no’. 

“You’ve gotten more injuries. Just when the previous ones healed,” Mingyu stated as he watched Wonwoo waved those new bandaged hands in disagreement.

“I-It’s nothing.”

Upon reaching the place, Haechan hops from Wonwoo’s hold and asked permission, “Onuuu, can I open it? Can I?”

“Yeah.” The door opened to big colourful flaglets of bold letters –

**‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGYU!’**

Mingyu stared with wide eyes at the place filled of cut outs and origami. A loud ‘POP’ was heard and confetti was everywhere, it shines as it lands to his hand.

Wonwoo and Haechan chorused, “Happy Birthday!” bright smiles plastered on their faces.

Haechan ran to Mingyu showing him a paper, “Haechan mwade it!”

Mingyu takes the drawing of a _stick figure holding a pudding_ , “Thank you.”

“A- And…” Wonwoo nervously looked at the table.

There is a _choco mint_ _cake._

Wonwoo made it with designs and extra mint leaf on top but messy – very messy – icing work, “compared to yours, it may look a bit lame.”

Haechan is back in his Onu's arms, smiling and excited.

“…did you make this?” Mingyu asked.

“Yeah.”

Haechan then reminded Wonwoo of the song. “Oh, right. Well, then…Ahem.”

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Mingyu~ Happy birthday to you.”

Mingyu continued to stare.

**“Wonwoo. This is the happiest birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you.”**

Wonwoo felt his heart throb.

_If you show me such a happy face, I won’t be able to ask you to… marry my sister…_

“Th…then, we can celebrate it every year.” Wonwoo said.

“These wounds…” Mingyu reached for Wonwoo’s bandaged hand, gently holding it to properly take a closer look, “Did you get them making this cake?”

“I-It’s no big deal,” Wonwoo got conscious at the touch, at their closeness, at Mingyu’s stare.

“Wonwoo. I’m concerned about your wounds, but…”

Wonwoo watched Mingyu leaned down to softly plant a kiss on his hand.

Mingyu continued, eyes smudged of fondness,

“I'm really...very happy.”

_This is bad…_ “I- If-” _My heart is about to burst…_ “If you marry my sister and join our family, we’ll be able to celebrate every year!” It was hard to say that. Wonwoo quickly saw Mingyu’s pained expression while letting his hand go.

“…That’s true.” Mingu looks down, “…thanks for the celebration.” He turns around to hide his face, “…sorry, but…I’m gonna head home.”

Wonwoo called out for Mingyu but the latter quickly went his way out the door.

**⬤⬤⬤**

DING~DONG. “Does anyone have anything to report…?” –Teacher.

Wonwoo’s not really paying attention, a hand on his chin and he looks down defeated…

_about yesterday, it really was my fault._

**_‘If you marry my sister and join our family, we’ll be able to celebrate every year!’_ **

_But…how should I apologize to him?_

He felt his cheeks burning.

_It’ll be awkward if we see each other now._

The visuals of kissing his hand and Mingyu saying,

_**‘I’m really very happy,’** _flashes back.

_Even though the wound he touched had already healed, it still tingles like hell…_

**.**

**.**

**.**

DING~DONG. “Oh. Let’s end it here for today.” –Teacher.

Wonwoo stands up, troubled.

_Crap! The day is over and I couldn’t talk to him…even Mingyu wouldn’t approach me…Ah, I need to hurry up and pick up Haechan._

“Wonwoo.”

AH. “Mi-Mingyu!” Wonwoo freezes and the other handed him a paper bag.

“…This is today’s snacks.”

_Huh?_

“Th-Thank you then.” _Mingyu…isn’t he acting as usual? Then, I feel like I can also apologize to him naturally…_ “…u-um, you see…about yesterday…” Mingyu cuts his words with –

**“Wonwoo. I won’t be going to your house for a while.”**

“Huh…?”

“As for the snacks, I’ll still give them to you like always, so no need to worry…see you, then.”

Wonwoo calls out, “Hey. Min-” but the other looks cold and Wonwoo watched as someone beats him to it – “Ah! Mingyu!” Chaeyeon approached Mingyu, “About the club activities and the show? Are there still any conflicts?” Mingyu answered, “None.” – _Jung Chaeyeon, everyone knows her; she’s even in TV nowadays._

Wonwoo sighed defeated.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**“Haechan.”**

His nephew trots happily to his arms, “Onu!!!” then the kid was crawling all over him to peek behind him…?

“What are you doing?” he asks.

Haechan climbs down to face him, “Where’s Mingoo?”

“Ah…he said that he wouldn’t be coming for a while.”

**AT THEIR HOME.** Wonwoo was holding cups of pudding in his hands and noticed the kid who mopes while drawing with a sad expression.

After placing the sweets on the table, he sits on the floor beside Haechan and rubbed his nephew’s back, “Cheer up~ Let’s eat the snacks Mingyu gave us.” He holds the younger’s cup, “Here. It’s your favourite pudding. It looks so good.”

Haechan weakly gazed at it, “un…”

“Here, say AAH.” He fed his nephew, “It’s delicious, right? Can you feed me too?”

Haechan picks up his small spoon and feeds him, “Aah~”

_…huh? somehow…it’s not that tasty…feels like there’s no taste at all._

_Mingyu…I understand that…I made him mad…_

_…because I said those things…while knowing about his feelings for me._

_But I was really surprised._

The small spoon sways his way, “Onuu, you won’t eat anymore?” Haechan asks trying to feed him.

“Huh…? Yeah.” He picks him up and settled him on his lap, resting his chin on the younger’s head.

The kid looks up with those big innocent eyes.

_Being with Mingyu feels natural and we can talk about anything with each other. He’s also kind to Haechan. I thought those warm feelings were so good._

He closed his eyes. _But at that time…_

_I suddenly realized that Mingyu’s warm heat was so close to me. I should’ve…told him that properly. I’m not honest at all…_

**“…”** Haechan’s blinks, lips curling sadly _,_ “both Onu and Mingoo are feeling down.”

_Hm?_

“You know, this puing…” the younger looked down to his now half-full pudding, “…is different from the usual that Mingoo makes.”

_Eh?_

“The ones…Haechan usually eat are so fwuffy, but…today, it ishn’t wike that.”

_That's true._

The visual when the three of them are comfortable and happy together flashes to his mind.

“Onu,” Haechan reaches to touch his face, “do you like Mingoo?”

_I? What?_

“Can’t you mwake up…with wim? Just mwake up with wim and gwet married to wim.”

“Hae- Haechan…?!” _It’s not like me…to keep thinking about worthless things like this._ “…that’s right. Haechan, I’ll definitely…” he lets their foreheads touch, “make up with Mingyu.”

The child’s eyes shines with delight and voiced a bright, “Okay!”

Wonwoo hugged his nephew.

_Thank you, Haechan._

**⬤⬤⬤**

_DING~DONG._

Students scattered at the hallway; chirping and chattering filled the air when Wonwoo spots the familiar figure. “Kim Mingyu!”

He stops his tracks finally getting his attention, with unblinking focused eye contact, “…I have something to say to you. Do you have time after this?”

Mingyu turns away, “…I can’t today.”

AH. “Wait!” Woonwoo tried to catch up to him unbothered by the stares they’re getting, “Just a little bit is fine!”

He reached to touch Mingyu, “okay…?” _please...?_

But when Wonwoo finally touched him – a slap resounded, his hand swings in the air – Mingyu just slapped his hand away…and he could feel the spot burning…

“…I’m sorry, I can’t today.”

Those were the words, before he left him there.

**AT TIMES** **LIKE THIS** – Soonyoung, Chan and Jisoo are the ones who ask if he’s okay, telling him they’ll do something about this but he tells them not to do anything. Jun and Jeonghan hangs out with him and actually offered to skip classes with him to which he said ‘no’. He knows Mingyu would be disappointed if he did. He’s been doing so well not skipping classes.

He got a message from **Seokmin** :

Wonwoo, Mingyu wants to talk to you.

He said to meet him at the garden of ARTS building.

Maybe, he wants to fix things? Go, okay?

Okay. Thank you.

Wonwoo wondered why Mingyu didn’t message him himself, but everyone calls Seokmin as Mingyu’s manager, so he’s not that worried…

**AFTER CLASS. Wonwoo waits for Mingyu – even if he’ll be late in picking up Haechan at the nursery school.** He’s nervous but the garden here is quite big and the flowers are starting to bloom in a way that calms his nerves. He frowned when two girls stopped in front of him.

“WONWOO!” Nayeon pointed at the guy with so much hate, “Earlier. It was clear, right? That Mingyu wants nothing to do with you.”

“Ah, how annoying,” Tzuyu crossed her arms, “Mingyu didn’t have the time to talk to me because you’re getting in the way.”

Nayeon looks at the girl, “Tzuyu, you are not that close with Mingyu. I talked to him a couple times more.”

“Whatever! I’ll join that cooking club soon anyways,” Tzuyu looked at Wonwoo sternly, “About that pudding incident. It wasn’t even Mingyu’s fault. Bitches wanted to taste his puddings so it fell on you,” she laughs then gets back to her serious face, “But you’re too persistent. Since then, you always asked him to make sweets.”

Wonwoo freezes at his spot, the words are stabbing even if he wears a blank expression…

Nayeon was careful not to get close to Wonwoo knowing the guy’s a gangster, “If you find Mingyu annoying, then don’t get him involved with you!”

_I…have always…because…I…_

“…get out of here.” _A new voice…_

 _Jung Chaeyeon. She’s telling the girls to leave…_ “Right. Run. Don’t show your faces to us.” That’s what she said…but he didn’t really like to small talk, “I’m sorry about that. Don’t mind them,” she said.

“I have to go.”

_I still have to pick up Haechan and it’s late…_

He went his way, away from that garden.

_I’m a mess…I can’t stop these fucking tears._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM MINGYU (April 6) ♡♡♡ There are so much points to remember in this chapter. Can anyone tell who in their friends are in Team Wonwoo and Team Mingyu? Aigu i might draw a character map? hmmm. I'll think about it.
> 
> I appreciate feedbacks! See you soon.  
> 


	6. I needed this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second episode happened, but Jeonghan wasn't early enough. Kim Mingyu knows too much except the bit about Wonwoo's friends gathering in Wonwoo's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Special thanks to @blueshine and @Zynna from HiNative for giving me Ideas for the potato dishes!

**P R E S E N T**

**D-DAY**. [The production team went to the penthouse suite of the sexy actor for the ‘surprise’ episode.] Mingyu relaxed at the welcoming home with the lively tones of blue, red, white and yellow. There are still big indoor plants, as expected of Jeon Wonwoo.

Of course, for this episode we only have potatoes in Wonwoo’s refrigerator.

“What do you expect me to do with these? Mashed potato?” The chef asked. Actually, he already has a dish in mind.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t expecting you to come.”

 _Yah, good for you, Jeon. You’re really an actor, huh._ Mingyu faced the camera with calm demeanour, “I usually cook good 감자탕 (Beef Potato Stew) with the main ingredients as cow backbones and potatoes but since we don’t have the other ingredient…let’s look here,” he checks the fridge again. Good thing there were eggs at least. “We can never go wrong with 감자전(Potato Pancake)!”

“Okay! CUT-” The PD gave a signal to Wonwoo.

Mingyu was confused when Wonwoo walked towards him to help him with his apron. His eyes tracing the flawless face of the actor, who closes the distance between them to properly tie a knot behind him, while feeling those arms wrapping around him… he didn’t even notice when the camera started rolling. But his hand circled around Wonwoo’s waist and the latter had to stomp on his foot –

Mingyu's ‘AW! AW!’ cues for the PD to “OK, CUT!”

The PD continued, “We needed that clip. You continue that chemistry, okay? EVERYONE WANTS SOME BROMANCE.” The PD cooed at the black cat that seems to be watching the scene with him.

 _Aissh_. Wonwoo just stepped on his foot and the PD called it BROMANCE?

After a while…

Wonwoo can’t help but observe Kim Mingyu move as if he had his own personal opera playing within. At times the chef moved steady and deep like he was the bow of a cello. Other times he was the violin in a rapid masquerade.

The potato pancake was done but the chef felt like making more for the viewers.

“I love the fact that you have baby red royale potatoes.”

Wonwoo crinkled his nose, “I have what?”

“These are the perfect variety for roasting. Perfect for our 감자조림 (Korean braised potato)!” Mingyu proceeds to make a new twist to the classic side dish.

Wonwoo stayed beside the chef.

Whatever rhythms flowed to Chef Kim, be them serenity or hurricane, what the chef made was so heavenly.

_And Kim Mingyu would stand there as we took a bite, the giant man and his childish heart, awaiting our facial expressions._

_Of course, everyone is awed. I never thought something as ordinary as potato pancakes and potato side dish can be this exceptional._

The pre-recording of the second episode was done.

**Everyone left except for the chef.**

Wonwoo eyed the box on top of his kitchen counter, “That was left untouched.”

Mingyu shrugged, “Yeah, let’s leave it there or put it in your refrigerator so your potatoes won’t get lonely.”

_Then we’ll have to just leave it in the open, because I’m a lonely potato_

Wonwoo led the chef to his living room.

Mingyu is now alone with Wonwoo under the warm lights of the living room looking like nature’s art. “Are you alright now?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry for running away.” Wonwoo looks down, “I haven’t thanked you properly. Thank you, Kim Mingyu.”

The scene when Wonwoo was wrapped in Jun’s embrace rewinds in Mingyu’s mind. With tight lips, he stayed silent.

“I wanted to talk to you about something. About what happened, I think it was a set-up.” Wonwoo’s tone was serious, “How did you manage to get in that private club, Mingyu?”

“I know the bouncer, Baekho. Why? How did you get in?”

“My name was on the list.”

Mingyu exhaled sharply, “Unbelievable.”

“That girl in the VIP Room asked me why I _came back to Korea._ But I honestly don’t know her.”

“Our first episode had already aired by that time,” Mingyu voiced confident, “It was enough time to plot something like that.” This is serious, “How about your manager’s mobile, it was used to send you those messages, right? Did they find it yet?

Wonwoo taps to the skin where a frown threatens to form, Mingyu is making so much sense right now, “Yeah, manager-nim retrieved it from the guard. The guard said that a woman found it. But we don’t have a copy of the CCTV yet.”

“What? It’s been days. This is a serious matter, Jeonunu. If someone’s really plotting this then we have to get our hands on that CCTV before anyone else does. Let the cops interfere!”

Wonwoo scrunched his face at that familiar ‘Jeonunu’ and raised an eyebrow at the word _‘we’._

“They said they won’t allow anyone if they’re not the CCTV operator. The operator caught a chickenpox though and still on sick leave.” Wonwoo sighed, “It’s the company’s call, so the police don’t have a say about it. But I feel like they’re just protecting the image of the broadcasting station. They don’t even allow the staffs or the guard to be investigated. They might be risking too much if this gets out to the public.”

“Fuck why would they care about bullshits like that before their artists? That CCTV, I’ll ask manager hyung for help since he’s been with the company, for a long time now, before us.”

Wonwoo smiled grateful, “Thank you. I have to get who’s behind this before –” he didn’t continue and just looks down.

He’s really nervous and confused and sad – it’s been a long time since he felt waves of emotions like this, but every time he does, there’s Kim Mingyu. That fact never changes and it still hurts his heart up to this day.

Wonwoo wears his blank expression because he can, “Why am I talking to you about this?” He glanced sideways, “What if this is your plan all along, Kim Mingyu?” Shaking his head, he backed a space away from where he’s seated beside the man, “You’re plotting all this and in the end you’ll be the h-” He holds his breath in when Mingyu leaned forward. Their faces are inches apart. His gaze lands to the lips that’s dangerously close to his.

“Jeon Wonwoo. You think I can do something like this?”

Wonwoo was leaning away at every syllable, until he didn’t have a space on the sofa to back away from because Mingyu caged him from the sides.

Mingyu continued, “Can you stop overthinking? Stop hurting yourself like that.”

 _I’m hurting myself, you say?_ Wonwoo fixed their gazes, _No I’m not_ , “I don’t fucking trust you!” his hand pushed at the other’s shoulder but it was of no use, Mingyu is too strong.

“Okay, but I will still help you,” Mingyu said, sternly. His eyes softens at the way the lighting is warmly illuminating the expression on Wonwoo’s face, “If there’s something that you CAN'T trust me at this moment, It’s to say that you don’t look so fucking beautiful right now and I don’t want to kiss you,” Mingyu bites down half his lower lip.

It was steady and calculated… _the kiss._

Wonwoo felt the gentleness of the lips that moves careful against his. Mingyu is kind of waiting for him to escape the slow burn but Wonwoo didn’t do anything about it – or maybe he did, more than a stutter of lips –

Wonwoo catches on, and let it burn the best way he knows.

His breathing was shaky when Mingyu breaks the kiss.

“You have to trust me,” Kim Mingyu said.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**“BUT I WAS EARLY?”** Jeonghan slumps to where he’s seated, complete sad mood clouding around him like what he said was true but not really, “Wah. I thought I can finally punch that handsome face, I never get the chance.” He’s talking about Mingyu.

They are gathered in the fancy living room of Wonwoo’s place knowing that the shoot that took place here ended this early evening.

Jun laughs, “What’s there to sulk? I’m just glad I didn’t see Mingyu to be honest.”

“We know who’s probably celebrating right now,” Seungcheol scans the room, “Not you Soonyoung. Okay you too, but we don’t have Lee Chan here? Where’s that kid?”

“Aye!” Soonyoung pats the sad Jeonghan who’s clinging to him, “Chan is still probably replaying Mingyu’s _cooking adventures_?”

“Wonwoo? You’re awfully quiet. Do you want to hang out another time?” Jun asked but his concerned expression breaks when a pillow was thrown his way by Yoon Jeonghan, “What did I do?”

“I’m just tired. I’m fine,” Wonwoo said, smiling grateful at Seungcheol who breaks the atmosphere by opening the whiskey.

With everyone holding their glasses up, Seungcheol started, “It was bound to happen, meeting each other again. And we’ll be here for you Wonwoo, like always.”

The clangs of glasses resounded from their ‘cheers’.

The whiskey turns down the volume of Wonwoo’s thoughts. Though it was different from the cans of beers that the group drinks back in the past, it has that same burn that brings memories of their good times, and he lets himself dwell in them rather than think. And in that moment he’s here and not, existing in two moments – but ‘here’ being not as complicated as the past.

Jeonghan swirled the whiskey in his glass, “So, how was it? Working with him now?”

“I told him he’s a trash and that the show is going to be a trash,” Wonwoo said.

Jeonghan started to jump around with the words, “I BROUGHT YOU OUT IN THIS WORLD TO DO JUST THAT.”

Seungcheol pulls the excited man back to sit while another presence entered the room.

“Who said that the show is going to be trash? Hyung, it’s not,” Lee Chan said trailing behind Jun who opened the door for him. He was squished by Soonyoung in a hug while Jeonghan called him ‘the ungrateful son that he brought out in this world’. He helped himself with the liquor.

“So, let’s cheers for the show?” Soonyoung lifts up his glass, breaking into a laugh when the majority protests that he’ll ruin the ‘ment’ that was said earlier by Seungcheol who was almost bouncing from where he sits. “Aye! Was I talking to all of you? Nooo? I was talking to Chan.”

The youngest clashed their glasses together to a cheers and the two had a celebratory walk around the living room.

“I’m ruining the show every chance I got. I’m just playing around, it’s fun,” Wonwoo said, nose crinkling as he recalled the events, “Mingyu is obviously taking it well so up to this day, the show is good.”

“You’re doing good,” Jeonghan said, cheekily. He’s batting Seungcheol’s phone away because it’s not time for that right now, “YAAAHHH!”

Wonwoo felt Jun's head rests on his shoulder and he looks down. “I don’t know.”

“You have us, okay?” Jeonghan voiced out in assurance. “It will be easy now. You can tell us anything."

Jun perks his head up to look at Wonwoo briefly, waiting. When Wonwoo said, “Yes. Everything’s fine.” Jun's mouth turns an ‘o’ before he's back at his position. If Wonwoo doesn’t want to talk about what happened last time, then they won’t. _It’s not my story to tell, whenever Wonwoo’s ready._

**After a while, “What’s this box? Is this –”** Jun, who’s now at the kitchen, curled his hand and bites at nothing with that nyom nyom sounds.

“No, I don’t know. Leave it there. That’s for a lonely potato like me.” Wonwoo said, “And It’s Mingyu’s box y’know.” He yelled for Jun to join them back in the living room.

“WHAT? WHERE IS MINGYU’S BOXER???” Soonyoung slurred.

And everyone threw the same questions at Wonwoo even Jun, “BOX. I said box, you bunch of nasties!”

**A Maroon 5 song blasts through the speakers** and Dino danced along. They love their parties with hard drinks and sick beats like this, “I’ve heard of Seokmin, too. His cooking book can save lives.”

Everyone looks at Chan.

Seungcheol even mouthed, “Why did you say that?”

Soonyoung’s lips curved to a small pout and he walks back to the sofa to silently sit down.

Seungcheol stopped petting Wonwoo’s black cat to quickly grab the bottle of liquor from Chan and visibly jumping in shock, a hand slapping the arm of the youngest, “It’s almost empty? Yah!” The two looked at Soonyoung whose face is a shade of tomato, “Soonyoung?”

“Why hyung?” Soonyoung asked, “Aye hyung! Seungcheol hyung who’s now a successful CEO…”

Jeonghan slumps from where he's seated, _it’s starting_ …

Soonyoung continued in a slur of words, “Jeonghan who now owns his model agency and the two here are actors. CHEERS! C’mon, let’s cheers to that?”

Jun turned to Chan, “This is your fault…”

Chan runs to his drunk hyung, his limbs cling to Soonyoung.

“You, Lee Chan, you’re what uh?” Soonyoung softened at the realization, “You are still a baby but you’ll go far.”

Jeonghan takes that opportunity to ask Chan with his popular nickname, “Dino nugu aegi?”

Chan hesitated, “Jeonghan hyung’s baby.”

The satisfied man claps, “That’s right.”

Wonwoo watched Soonyoung in that familiar state and now they will hear that familiar story.

Soonyoung huffs, “Did you guys remember when I took Seungkwan’s offer back then? And then we got guested on the show ‘BESTIES’ with three episodes. Seungkwan, Me and Him…” He laughed empty, “BooSeokSoon who even went to radios and music shows together to promote the episodes. It was fun…he talked to me a lot. But now that I’m a what? I’m just a job order at some unknown gaming company. And that guy has a cook book of his own? HAHA he would never talk to me. We know him…I know him.”

At this point, they know how to manage Soonyoung to a point that the latter won’t be crying drunk but it’s going to be hard…Chan looks at Wonwoo with those eyes seemingly saying ‘help’.

⬤⬤

 **Two days later** —

The cold morning air tingles to his face and hits a wave to his hair from where the car’s window opens. He’s on his way to get his morning coffee before he goes to SCE building. The road was slick and quiet.

Or so he thought. He received a message and then the danger started from there.

010-XXXXX:

**Why did you come back to Korea?**

Of course, whoever this is, his mobile number is now in possession from the time his manager’s phone was used to text him. He remembered the events that night.

Should he be worried about that black car that’s been trailing him for a while now? He glanced at his rear-view mirror and tried to calm his rapid pulse. That’s just someone harmless. Distance is all that mattered right?

But one thing lead to the other, the hiss of tyres was heard even with the soft music from the inside, he lost control. He barely had time to scream before the air bags knocked him back the moment the car hit the trees. He sucked in the cramped air, feeling his lungs caving in on themselves. There’s static in his head...and he lost consciousness.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Wonwoo wakes up** , adjusting his vision to white ceiling then Jun’s face.

“Hello, my sunshine!” Jun said.

“Jun...do they know already?”

Jun’s eyes furrowed, “Who? If you meant our friends? Then no. I haven’t told them yet.”

“Are you going to tell them?”

“Uh, do you want me to?”

“No.”

Jun sighed, “Then I won’t.”

**2PM.** Mingyu barged in the room, his movements stuttering when he saw Wonwoo sitting on his hospital bed, wearing branded clothes like nothing happened.

Wonwoo looks away, “You don’t know how to knock y’know.”

“Is it true? You have sasaengs following you? And got into a car accident? It was on the news. It's everywhere. How are you feeling?”

“Noisy,” Wonwoo muttered and just held out his phone in the other’s direction as a reply.

“Fuck! Who the hell is doing this? Don’t look at me like that, I told you it’s not me. I’ll kiss you again.”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” Wonwoo snorts, “So, the company said that I have sasaengs? I have only one crazy fan, whoever that is,” his attempt to change subject.

“Are you okay now? How are you feeling?”

“Just a few bruises and a mild concussion that doesn’t require further testing...”

“I can ask the doctor about that. What I’m asking you though is how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Wonwoo stammered, maybe because he’s not, or the other caught him off guard. “Jun said that fortunately I stopped before the dip of the track where there’s a high chance of the car to tumble down and flip over.”

Mingyu tightened his lips, “Jun...” As soon as he uttered the name, the owner entered the room. Mingyu stands tall and faced the new presence.

“I talked to the doctor,” Jun shifts his gaze from Mingyu to Wonwoo, “He said ‘okay’. I just need to sign some papers, then you can go home. I think Mingyu can help me?”

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Outside the room.**

****“Moon Junhui.”

Jun twists his mouth in disbelief, so much happened today and he had to see this man. “I’m going to take Wonwoo with me...to China.” Before the other could react, “Wonwoo already said yes,” he continued.

They went back to the room only to stand before Wonwoo not saying anything, a visible gap between, and tension clouding in the room

“I can go home now, can’t I?”

“I’ll take you home,” JUN AND MINGYU CHORUSED.

“But last night, you said there’s shooting today, right? I don’t want to trouble you further...” His group of friends have been hanging out in his house for consecutive days now; Wonwoo had to remind himself that there won’t be one tonight. Jun was about to say something but he beats him to it, “We talked about this, right? You can’t keep missing out jobs because of me.”

_Last night? They were together last night?_ Mingyu pressed his lips together. He knows that he’s not the one Wonwoo is talking to, but those last words kind of hit him deep.

Jun walks to where Wonwoo sits, holding the latter’s hand to gently squeeze, “Then whatever you say. But uhh is it really okay? I don’t trust the guy.” He whispered the last words.

Wonwoo laughs, “Me too.” He points to the clock on the wall, “Don’t worry, Jun. Go now.”

“Okay. Text me when you get home.” Jun walks past Mingyu without a word.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**At Wonwoo’s PENTHOUSE.** He lays on the comfort of his bed with his black cat, “how is my handsome dad? does your back hurt that much?” Usually Wonwoo says it like he’s voicing out the thoughts of PYU (the cat). His voice a pitch cuter a while ago shifts to his normal deep voice, "Yes, it does, kiddo. Aww are you comforting me now?” He laughs at the cat that’s madly licking his hand.

Yes, he just answered his own question. And he's now petting his cat. The black feline swayed to settle at the warmness of Wonwoo's tummy.

And Wonwoo felt like the pain lessened.

**After a while** , Mingyu entered the bedroom. With big cups for the both of them,“Pudding?”

Wonwoo had to think twice if the other is calling him that as an endearment... his expression changing when the cup was handed to him.

_Mingyu made a pudding._

“Thank you, Mingyu. How did you manage to make this?”

_I don’t have the ingredients for puddings._

“Do you remember the box? The contents there are quite fabulous.”

Wonwoo chomps a spoonful of the gorgeous red color, chewing the sweetness that melt fluffy on his tongue and the throb of his head is slowly dissipating.

_I needed this_. _It’s true that sweet things always make me feel better._

Wonwoo's gaze locked with the other’s anticipating ones, “ **It’s good**.”

“Is that so?” Mingyu hides a smile to where he bites a large portion of pudding. “Do you recognize the taste though?”

Wonwoo hummed knowingly, his cat jumping off his bed, “Is this it?”

“COCO BEAN,” Mingyu beamed.

“Amazing. This is so tasty. And I made this,” Wonwoo said brightly. The distinct taste of red bean blending to sweet coconut, it’s making his heart warm in many ways.

Mingyu coughed, “I made that.”

“Yes, but y’know, the concept is mine,” Wonwoo insists.

“Okay.” Mingyu smiles, “I hope it made you feel better.”

Wonwoo continued to eat, heartily.

**The comfortable silent had to end when they finished their sweet treats.**

“Okay, Bad news or Good news? What do you want first?” Mingyu asked.

“Bad news.”

“The Chief of police told me that the girl at the VIP, someone paid for her bail and that she’s now hiding. But they are doing their best. Also, Baekho, the club’s bouncer didn’t know how your name got on the list. We tried to ask the staffs but they were saying it’s from a call at one point and then they said it’s confidential.”

Wonwoo nods, “What’s the Good news?”

Mingyu showed the CCTV tape.

They watched it together. The camera spans to the lobby, a girl in ponytail comes to view, holding the mobile phone and walking towards the guard. The guard takes the mobile phone and kept it in the locker.

Mingyu watched Wonwoo’s reactions, striking features brightened by the natural light of the sun in the bedroom space, “I’ve already traced the girl. She is Jung Soojung, 32 years old, works in SCE for 4 years now, in the Sales department.” Mingyu creased his brows, “But she just got transferred to Jeju branch of SCE Broadcasting.”

“I’m going to Jeju Island,” Wonwoo said, determined.

“WE are going to Jeju. I’ll tell the production team, we’ll have the fourth episode in Jeju.”

“Fourth?”

“Yeah, I’ll take care of the third. So just rest.” Mingyu smiled, “You can heal first. When the third episode airs, you’ll be well and ready. And by the end of next week, we’ll be in Jeju. Okay?”

“Thank you,” Wonwoo is lost for words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapters, huh? I'll shorten them soon bcs we'll be diving more into their 'past' real soon, who's excited? btw, the next chapter has SMUT, who's excited?


	7. Calm before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That time when MINGYU met Wonwoo's sister!!! Minghao is Seunghcheol's cousin. And their summer break starts here.

**P A S T**

**“Wonwoo!!!”**

_That voice…Kim Mingyu_.

Wonwoo walked a pace faster, a route to the green grass of soccer field, what is he doing? He messily rubs off his tears in time for someone to grab his arm only to face Kim Mingyu.

Mingyu took a moment to appreciate how the skies in rose quartz and serenity brighten the sad expression on Wonwoo’s tear stained face, “I’m sorry…Let’s talk about this.”

“I’m already used to people misunderstanding me…but,” Wonwoo avoids eye contact, “Even after hearing rumors about me, you didn’t avoid me, or treat me any different.”

A while ago, a girl told him _,“If you find Mingyu annoying, then don’t get him involved with you!”_

“Because I love you, that’s why I want to get involved with you,” Wonwoo said.

The wind carries a breeze warm like Wonwoo’s heart, “I thought this was all for Haechan’s sake. But the truth is, I wanted to stay by your side.”

Wonwoo continued to look down before the other hugged him tightly, cheeks pressed to chest. He got teary even with the blossoms of spring in his heart.

He pushed Mingyu, “You…Don’t joke around with me! You left me all confused, y’know?!” Clutching at Mingyu’s uniform for support and lets the tears he’s been holding flow to his cheeks, watch it drop to nothing on the grass. “Your birthday cake…I was so desperate to make it, but you didn’t eat it! Because of that, I was really sad.”

Wonwoo’s back in Mingyu’s arms and he muffled at the fabric, “Ever since I met you, I kept getting all excited and depressed at the same time!”

Mingyu faced Wonwoo, now leaning down to eye level, “I guess you’re right. It’s my fault. Because I casted a spell on Wonwoo’s sweets. And that spell was ‘Wonwoo will come to like me.’”

Wonwoo's eyes widened, “What happened to ‘One good deed begets another’?”

Mingyu had a trouble maintaining eye contact, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m just an ordinary student, how can I keep my composure when it comes to the person I love?” He looks away.

Wonwoo felt his pulse racing, blood rushing to paint his cheeks a shade of red and he continued to stare at Mingyu.

“You’ve fallen in love with me, right?” Mingyu asked.

_He’s making such a face….but I don’t hate it, “_ Yeah.”

Wonwoo watched Mingyu brightened at his word. And he wasn’t ready when the arms at his waist tightened, not used to this closeness it’s making him dizzy, “Aah! Now that we’ve made up, we have to hurry and report this to Haechan.”

Mingyu chuckled, stopping Wonwoo's track, “Okay. But…first, I’ll have a little –”

“!!! Idio-” A **THUD** on the soft grass where Mingyu crashed their lips together.

Mingyu is on top of him and they lay there on the grass field. Wonwoo lets everything sink in…their lips fitting perfectly, a glimpse of the skies in a shade of sweet peach, and he relaxed. Closing his eyes, melting at the moment.

“–taste.” Mingyu completes.

_It’s unreasonably sweet._

Wonwoo rubs his eye and his other hand squeezed at Mingyu’s hand.

“You idiot, help me up. My legs gave out!” The look on Mingyu’s face is teasing, “You’ve got it wrong it was because I fell!”

**.**

**.**

**.**

  
**“Haechan!”**

The kid happily hopped to Wonwoo’s hold, “Onu! Mingooooo!! Did you two mwake up?”

“Yes, we did.” Wonwoo said. Almost losing it because Mingyu had to say, “We also kiss – ”

Wonwoo's nudge cuts it at that.

_Although there was a change of plans,_  
  


“Wonwoo, when are we telling our friends about our engagement?”

_The family plan is still progressing smoothly._  
  


⬤⬤⬤

“Wonwoo. I heard from Haechan that you have a date today? Is it true?” Seulgi asked with her child in her arms, “So you already have a girlfriend~”

Haechan shakes, “Mama. Mingoo is a guy, you know?” A blush on his little face.

“...a boyfriend?” Seulgi smiled, “Wonwoo. You can have your date here in the house, can’t you? I want to meet him. And I also have something to tell you later...”

That lady has a day-off today and why not, “Okay.”

.

.

.

 **Everything’s fine.** His noona remembered Mingyu as their rich kid neighbor from back then. That lady even said that It‘s cute, the clingy small bean Mingyu before is now towering over his younger brother.

“So, I will be joining the Hospital’s Medical Missions for this summer. I will even Head some of it and it’s in Gangwon-do.”

“Gangwon-do?” It is a province located east of Seoul, “When? This is our last week in school before summer break.”

“Next week, so it’s good? You can come with us, can’t you? We’ll be staying with Irene.”

“Oh?” Wonwoo have seen Irene couple of times. He knows that the girl is not in the medical field but she’s rich so he’s not that worried. “I think I’ll stay here. I’ll take Seungcheol hyung’s offer of the summer job in their manor. He said we can also sleep there.”

Mingyu hummed in agreement, “Yeah. We do that every summer breaks.” He straightened up, “I’ll take care of Wonwoo.”

“Oh? Okay!” Seulgi chirps immediately.

⬤⬤⬤

 **Summer job started.** From where Wonwoo stands in the garden, where leaves are dark green and full towards the sunlight, Joshua and Chan brushed white paint to fix a part of the manor’s exterior. The strong scent scrunching Jun’s face, stuttering in mandarin – because he’s talking to Seungcheol’s cousin, Minghao.

Hansol, Soonyoung and Seokmin are taking care of the glassed windows from where you can see Jeonghan lying inside on the blue sofa.

Wonwoo never thought that someone have a task better than his, which is to feed and play with the dogs, until he saw Jeonghan’s state.

The rest are inside doing some cleaning and cooking.

“EVERYONE LET’S GATHER IN THE HOUSE!!!” Seungkwan said while rushing inside. He‘s from SCE broadcasting as an ‘audience’ in a quiz show. It’s for exposure. And now he had something to announce with his heart beating fast.

“IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING THIS SUMMER!!! OUR REALITY SHOW THAT KEEPS BEING PUSHED BACK,” he drops it like a bomb.

“Because we’re here in this place. Thank you, Seungcheol hyung, who said ‘YES’ and arranged everything. AHHHH ALL OF YOU...” Seungkwan points two index fingers around, “...will be famous.”

Even if there are many questions thrown around in a ball of chaos, the production team has all the answers, so they have to wait until then. It took a while to settle down but when it did…

It’s just them standing side by side, Mingyu and Wonwoo.

“We also have an announcement,” Mingyu said holding Wonwoo’s hand in a gentle assurance.

“I’m-” In front of his friends, Wonwoo half-bowed to say, “I’m going to treasure him forever.”

Mingyu stared with wide eyes, “Wonwoo…! You…” He had to rest his forehead on his hand that lands to Wonwoo’s shoulder, balancing the giant that he is because he suddenly felt weak at that attack of words, he might pass out from overjoy if that is even possible.

There was silence... Some of the bunch were hiding their faces from a split secondhand embarrassment. But some are madly blushing like Soonyoung, Chan and Jisoo.

 _Hm?_ “Wait, Did I miss something just now? I’m going to treasure him forever as a friend…” Wonwoo’s attempt to find his way out of this kind of atmosphere.

The bunch suddenly reacted in protests.

Wonwoo nudged the weight on his shoulder, the silent giant didn’t react, “Mingyu? Are you okay?”

Jeonghan grabs Wonwoo, laughing at the way Mingyu almost fell out of balance but Hansol got his bro, “WAAAHH. You’re doing great. You deserve all the love in this world my child,” he said while hugging Wonwoo and patting the butt.

“Congratulations, bro!” Hansol said. Mingyu thanked his bro. He needs a moment.

Jun bites Wonwoo’s biceps, “You’re that sappy kind of boyfriend? Mingyu is so lucky.”

Wonwoo hugged his best friend with a scrunch of his nose, “I don’t think so.”

“Is there something wrong with you?” Seokmin asked his best friend, not meaning to sound a tone of disagreement.

Mingyu hugged him instead, limbs dangling everywhere, “Seokmin. Have you heard what Wonwoo said? All the worries I felt lately are blown away in one go…”

Seokmin nods and smiled happy for the weak man.

“OKAY, JISOO! BRING OUT THE WINES AND CHEESE!” Seungcheol said. Beside him, Jihoon tugs at the hem of his shirt, “Settle down drunkard, you just have to find reasons to drink, you’re amazing.” Seungcheol just winks as a reply.

It was quite hard to sashay away, not really ‘sashay’ but close, from the bunch of crackheads – and now Mingyu has a chance to talk to Wonwoo alone in the kitchen. The backyard door is open to where the herbal scents enter their space. He hugs Wonwoo to balance himself.

“Mingyu, you’re heavy!” Wonwoo whined.

“Let’s stay like this just a bit more…”

“Guess it can’t be helped.” Mingyu stayed silent that Wonwoo had to ask, “…are you alright?”

“…when you said that. It made me so happy.”

“Huh?” Wonwoo jolts in panic, “That was…you are like this because of that? Are you an idiot?”

Mingyu loosened his hug to face Wonwoo, “When you said ‘I’ll treasure you forever,’ it sounded like a proposal. I guess I really am an Idiot,” he sighed.

Wonwoo is having a hard time maintaining eye contact, “Idiot. I-I’ll get you water,” He breaks the hug. _Water as an escape? Not bad_. But his steps stuttered when Mingyu grabs him by the hand.

And then a ring was slipped on the third finger of his left hand.

“Fits perfect,” Mingyu said.

Wonwoo watched the three dots of diamonds shine from where the natural lights hit them. And he stood there just staring, lost for words. Mingyu intertwined their digits.

The same ring is seen on Mingyu’s finger.

And now, Wonwoo lets Mingyu’s lips brushed his. Not as innocent like the first, but fiery, and passionate.

The herbal scent and in this citrus moment, he found himself losing control. The way he parted his lips for Mingyu, sends a rush of heat on his face. Mingyu’s fingers grazed from his waist, slipping in the hem of his shirt to thumb at the skin.

_Somehow, I feel weird._

He didn’t know how he was cornered at the kitchen counter but Mingyu is rubbing his _bulge_ against him and he didn’t have a chance to escape.

_I can feel it…_

**“JEON WONWOO!”** Someone shouted from the living room. Wonwoo managed to push Mingyu enough to break the kiss, his breath shaky, “Mingyu.”

When the said man leaned down to kiss him again, Wonwoo jumps to let their foreheads bump in a painful thud.

 **“WHAAAT?”** Wonwoo shouted back. He exits the kitchen with a throbbing forehead. But red lips curve to a smile because the ring on his finger is beautiful.

_Right, I was supposed to get water but at this point, I’ll end up throwing that at Mingyu. That man’s on fire. Damn, he’s hot… but still an Idiot._

⬤

 **NEXT DAY.** Boxes of drinks piled at the doorway where Seungkwan encourages everyone to get their share.

Wonwoo gets one, opening it while eyeing a plastic coiled around the bottle. It has the endorser’s face on it. That endorser is here right now, wearing the same kind of smile, Jung Chaeyeon.

Jihoon beams, “Dragonfruit Vitamin Water! You really know our favourite, Chaeyeon,” he offered a friendly hug to the female who delivered the drinks.

Mingyu said, “Nope, not my favourite.”

Seungkwan laughs it off.

But Chaeyeon’s expression turns a sad one, almost teary, and everyone can see the disheartened girl, except Mingyu.

Mingyu walked to someone instead, with an obvious pout, “I got you one.”

Wonwoo just shrugs because he already has a drink. “Okay, fine.” He grabs the offered drink nonetheless, to wipe that stupid pout off Mingyu’s handsome face, “It’s good, why don’t you like it?”

Mingyu smirked and whispered, “Can I taste it from your mouth?”

Wonwoo’s face is probably a shade of red. If Mingyu’s a puppy, he is trying to lick him with a wagging happy tail and Wonwoo is desperately holding him off.

Chaeyeon was watching the two from a far.

Joshua stood beside her, “Boyfriends” he said with eyes glued at the two in front of them who are kind of fighting but not really, just flirting. He chuckles because Wonwoo called Mingyu a ‘giant puppy’ and it’s so accurate.

“But he’s a guy?” Chaeyeon asked more to herself, not bothering to hear more of Joshua’s words before she walks to where the others are chatting away.

**After a while** , everyone is talking about the reality TV. Mingyu was giving lots of ideas. They will still have to meet with the production staffs this week before the shooting though.

But one thing is for sure, Chaeyeon will be in it.

Wonwoo just stays lowkey, laughing when Soonyoung said to have the title as ‘TIGER and Friends’ and Minghao losing it with ‘Soonyoung, you’re not a tiger. You're a person, with hands and feet. How many times do I have to say that?’

Most of them know Minghao, Seungcheol’s cousin, who only comes to Korea every summer. But Wonwoo just met the guy a few days ago and while Hansol describes Minghao as ‘cool’, he thinks that the man is so funny.

But as the conversation got serious, Wonwoo realized, he doesn’t really have much to share.

It also dawned on him that almost everyone here is tied to the ‘ **limelight** ’ industry. And unlike him, most expressions are brightened by the fact that their faces and everything will be on TV. He smiled back at Mingyu, whose mom is a famous chef.

They just stared at each other like that, gazes locked while the world slowed down.

And then his awkwardness lessened.

And then he felt comfortable.

“…okay? Better watch us in Inkigayo tomorrow night, you homeboys!” Seokmin said while Jihoon slaps his shoulders, laughing at the last word.

“YAAWR!” Soonyoung yelled while Seungkwan opts to clap to get everyone’s attention.

Soonyoung started, “BooSeokSoon had a change of schedule tomorrow ung? But ‘ _Let’s go! Dream Team_ ’ shooting is tomorrow too so we won’t be able to make it…It’s usually live but this is one of the pre-recorded episodes…I’m actually sad, we –”

Seungkwan interjects Soonyoung’s out-of-track explanation, “Okay! So we need volunteers from this group to take our places instead. So we have Mingyu and two more, anyone who knows how to swim?”

“I volunteer, Jeonunu!” Mingyu said confidently, having seen the picture frame from Wonwoo’s home, where it was clear that the latter joins swimming competitions when he was young.

Wonwoo shakes his head, “Do you even know the meaning of ‘volunteer’, Kim Mingyu?”

Everyone’s attention was on Jeonghan who bolts up from where he was seated, “YAHHH! NO! WONWOO’S NOT GOING TO SWI-”

Wonwoo grips at Jeonghan’s arm successfully cutting his words, “Why is everyone speaking on my behalf?”

_And even if I don’t blend to the ‘limelight’, I’m trying, I’m going to try..._

“Fine, I’ll do it, count me in.” Wonwoo turned to Jeonghan to smile in assurance.

But Jeonghan’s face is painted of worry still, “I guess the other one is going to be me.”

“You guys will represent the school,” Chaeyeon said.

“Not really. You shouldn’t be that pressured,” Mingyu ensures, “We are just going to replace BSS. Let’s just enjoy, okay?” He can’t hide his excitement.

⬤⬤⬤

 **The next day,** AT **LET’S GO! DREAM TEAM SET**.

Everyone was informed about what will happen. The 48 hours preparation for today’s setting in XXX school’s indoor pools, it’s outstanding. The pool is filled with inflated bright platforms in different shapes and sizes where everyone is supposed to face as obstacles. There will be water relays and fun games that will be revealed along the way.

While the famous hosts are shooting their ‘ment’, everyone else including top stars are around the pool area labelled as ‘PRACTICE AREA’.

Mingyu, Wonwoo and Jeonghan are among them and from where they stand, they heard, “Dream Team is not like other variety shows. It is an athletic variety program with much sincerity,” the host, BOOM, said. The words blasted in the speakers for everyone to hear.

“WONWOO!” It was his turn to jump.

Wonwoo, who’s wearing a bodysuit, stands there frozen at the edge of the pool.

He was just staring into the water… how the pool looked exactly like it did back when he was just a kid, where his short limbs dive a perfect projectile. And in his childhood, the water would swallow him whole, and his heart too was sinking – it was his type of hurricane. The hurricane that replays in his mind on a short loop causing the panic that was a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen. He can feel his heart hammering at his ears that he can’t look at everyone without feeling dizzy. And even now, he’s taking a step back because his heart rate was already accelerating and his mind is reminding him that _swimming dries his heart_...because he sees his beloved mother’s image, and even now he yearns to see her smile.

He wants to slow them down but they won’t, the thoughts that are making it hard to breathe. Tension grew in his face and limbs.

_I need to get out of here quick. I’m sorry._

His breaths come in gasps and he feel like he will black out.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Seungcheol found Wonwoo at the living room** , curled up on the floor, quivering and sobbing. He could see that he was in pain, emotionally and physically that the others started helping Wonwoo with the cramps that flooded his body. Seungcheol is supporting his back, hushing Wonwoo’s stream of ‘sorry’, and telling him “It’s okay, you’re okay. We’re here for you.”

**That night.** Wonwoo was like a caterpillar cocooned in the warm blanket.

At his sides are Jeonghan and Seungcheol hugging him while Jun’s head rests on his lap, a finger draws comforting lines at his stretched legs.

“Still no BooSeokSoon?” Dino asked, eyes glued at the television with a sigh, “We want BooSeokSoon!” he yelled and instantly softens when he handed Wonwoo his drink, “Hot Chocolate!”

“Where are the others?” Minghao said clinging to Wonwoo because he wants to and Jeonghan gave him some space.

“Schedules,” Seungcheol said.

“YAH SHH! I think they’re up next. OHO! MC Mingyu looking fine~” Jeonghan said as he glanced at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo nods and they watched them on TV –

Mingyu, Chaeyeon and Song Kang, the 3 MCs, started introducing BSS.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Mingyu is back late.** Everyone in the living room lets him take the sleeping Wonwoo in his arms, he carried him bride-style to Wonwoo’s bedroom.

Wonwoo is light and Mingyu’s heart is heavy.

Mingyu and Jeonghan finished the shooting because they had to, while it was Hansol who takes Wonwoo’s place. And later that day was he informed about Wonwoo’s panick attack.

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault,” he whispered leaning down to let their foreheads touch.

Wonwoo stirred in his sleep, opening his eyes to the room familiar, the bedroom that he shares with Jisoo but the latter didn’t stay the night because of some coffee house matters. “Stop staring, I’m melting, y’know,” Wonwoo states.

“Can I faint? I can’t get used to you flirting with me,” Mingyu said, the smile quickly faltering, “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come home quickly.”

“It’s okay.” Wonwoo looked up through his lashes, a smile forming his lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Mingyu asked.

PPFFFT “When did you even learn to ask permission?” Wonwoo’s hand rests on Mingyu’s face, he thumbs at the cheek. Gaze traced mesmerising eyes, well-defined nose, and oh how he wants to feel that lips again, “Kiss me.”

The kiss was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be.

Wonwoo felt the shift of weight on the bed, giving space so Mingyu’s on top of him until there’s no space between them. Mingyu’s hands followed the curves of his body while their breaths mingled.

 _He’s touching mine?_ AH, his length was traced under the fabric in between Mingyu’s thumb and index finger, sliding up and down his size. Wonwoo breaks the kiss, panting, “I…I’ve never done p-perverted things before.”

“Me too. This is a first for me, Wonwoo.”

_For some reason I feel really happy._

With their pants discarded somewhere he cares not, Mingyu slides Wonwoo’s underwear down, settling between milky thighs and his hand worked to slowly stroke the other’s cock in slow manner, sliding up to thumb at the tip where pre-cum leaks.

Wonwoo shudders at the sensation, eyes fixed down to where Mingyu encloses his cock in firm strokes.

 _Mingyu’s…_ Wonwoo reached for Mingyu’s crotch, _it feels hot._ “I want to do it too.”

Foreheads meeting, Mingyu lets him. It was short lived, his experimental strokes, because Mingyu decided to fit their cocks in one hand to a friction slippery, Wonwoo had to bite back a moan but failed.

“I’m going to treasure you forever,” Mingyu breathes.

The words lights up Wonwoo’s heart in ways that words would never be. His red face probably a shade deeper, “You idiot,”

When he really mean to say is, 

_I feel the same_.

It sends sparks to his body and he trembles as he lets the feverish feeling take over him and _he came._

Wonwoo's shirt was rucked up, a finger played with his nipple, wet from where it touched his cum. To think that he just came, “Mingyu…wait,” he whimpered. He's still high from the tingles, and Mingyu coats a finger with his cum, sliding the wetness down between butt cheeks, teasing at his entrance.

Wonwoo shakes, pushing at Mingyu’s thigh, “Hey?!”

Their lips crashed together as the reply. Mingyu pressed his tongue to the seam of Wonwoo’s lips and, at the grant of access, delved inside his mouth.

Wonwoo felt the wetness of the finger as it was slowly pushed inside the tight ring of muscle, his breath hitches at the foreign feeling but the passionate kiss was a distraction.

A smile – almost a smirk – forming much appeal to Mingyu's frame. “Relax,” Mingyu said in between the kiss. He slides his finger, in and out, in a steady rhythm, before adding the second finger, gently stretching and feeling Wonwoo mewl against his lips. He hums and breaks the kiss. With Wonwoo’s parted lips, he can’t help but trace the outline with the tip of his tongue.

Wonwoo’s expression is enough to get him off right there and now, but Mingyu knows his limit, and he wants more. And Wonwoo’s already soft down there.

Wonwoo felt Mingyu shifts to line his cock to his entrance. _This is different than before…_ “Wait…”

_No warning…_ Wonwoo winced at the burn of being stretched by Mingyu’s cock. He leaned up a hand pushing at Mingyu’s chest, stunned as he watched the cock disappear into his body. He was throbbing and clenching at the fullness he’s feeling, “Impossible…No.”

Mingyu leans in, “I love you. I want to feel you,” sealing the gap between them in an open mouthed kiss. Wonwoo gazed at Mingyu’s expressions and let himself melt in the moment like the other.

_As expected, I’m a little scared, but…_

Swirling his tongue around his, he started to adjust in Mingyu’s sensually slow thrusts. It’s making him dizzy, he’s still so sensitive from cumming earlier.

_I can completely feel Mingyu’s feelings._

Mingyu’s thrusts shift from slow to a pace faster. Wonwoo’s fingers tangled tighter to his hair while he bites at the cream of shoulder now that they’ve gotten rid of all their clothes. He hooked Wonwoo’s legs around his waist, shoving deeper into the tight heat. Wonwoo is clenching him so good and letting out those sinful moans for only him to hear. He straightens up, hand sliding to the dip of Wonwoo’s lower back, the beautiful male arching his back just right where he buck his hips. Mingyu inhaled breathily, every thrust in sync with Wonwoo’s broken whimpers.

“I’m cum –” Wonwoo can feel the feverish feeling building up. Mingyu leans down until there’s no gap between them, “Together, I’m close…” his quick pace stuttered dissolving into pleasure and they _came_ together. Mingyu rides out his orgasm with slow thrusts.

And then, flops down beside the alluring male.

⬤⬤⬤

**FEW DAYS LATER.**

They finished making the opening for their reality TV– **‘HomeTeen!’**

Today, they had a photoshoot for a well-known ‘YOUTH’ magazine and they were also interviewed.

The branded clothes fitted the group stunningly. The colors are from creams blending to an earthy shade of tan in different varieties of patterns and styles that are well suited to each person. Wonwoo loves it because of how warm they look. It’s like environmentally friendly to the eyes.

But he’s laughing at the similarity of his clothes and Mingyu’s, the two of them wore high quality turtle necks and classy tan coats.

When everything was done, Jeonghan and Jisoo dragged him to the bedroom.

“We have to ask you some questions! Do you like me more or Mingyu?” Jeonghan asked.

Both Jisoo and Wonwoo were shocked.

“What? I don’t really have to choose, right?” Wonwoo turned to Jisoo but the latter just shrugged.

_Fine_ , “Mingyu.”

“YAHHHHH!” Jeonghan pouts and Wonwoo laughed guiltily.

“So, is chocolate cake okay? They were like craving for chocolates so…that’s okay right?” Jisoo asked.

“Huh?” Wonwoo scrunched his nose. Jisoo laughs before turning serious, “I’m asking if you like chocolate cakes?”

Wonwoo raised an eye brow, “The interview ended a while ago, y’know.”

“WAH. Where’s your ring?” Jeonghan points and Jisoo didn’t know how to save the atmosphere.

Wonwoo stretched his hands, getting nervous as he started to recall the events because his ring is missing.

**“Guys, please move away from that door. I have to find it outside.”**

“Can you find it here instead?” Jiso’s eyes are shouting ‘PLEASE’.

“No.” Wonwoo’s facial expression scrunched in suspicion, “I have to find it, move.”

“NOOOOOOOO-” The knock on the door stopped Jeonghan.

And they opened it.

“Seulgi noona?” His sister holds out a bouquet of flowers in gorgeous reds and whites flashing it out in greenery with soft thistles and baby red cosmos. The beautiful arrangement was handed to him. “Wonwoo, you only live once.”

_What does that mean? I’m getting more nervous._

**The rooftop setting was filled of seasoned flowers and herbal scent from where they accentuate the place in the earthy concept that he loves most**. Moreover, an altar like haven of leaves was prepared where a towering man stands tall. Mingyu is waiting for him while carrying the chubby kid, Haechan, because of course that kid would be here.

His face is probably a shade of red. This is embarrassing but his sickeningly-sweet friends are wearing their stupid smiles that **warms his heart**. He also spots the layered _chocolate cake_ that Jisoo was talking about. _This is ridiculous._ He'sgoing to turn into a melted icing at this point.

The beautiful open air with the view of the marshmallow-like clouds, seemingly promise that everything would be alright.

 _And Jun started playing the piano._ The soft melody matches the slow of Wonwo's walk towards Mingyu – a mismatch to the racing mess of his heart. The emotions clouding his system can’t be put to words and the sun compliments the dazzling bouquet in his hands.

“Marry Mingoo!” Haechan’s small lips forms an ‘o’

Wonwoo plants a kiss on the little boy's cheek, “Okay. I will.”

Mingyu is madly blushing and he leans down until their foreheads meet.

Between them, Haechan giggles.

A moment of appreciation.

**“We are gathered here today, to celebrate love.”** Chan started.

And it was a quick ceremony with Chan leading the ‘wedding’ program.

Chan coughs, “Alright, the vows, go on…”

Mingyu takes Wonwoo’s hands, “You laugh with your nose scrunch, it’s cute. I love that laugh. I’m happy when I’m with you. Your heart –”

“Okay, I will treasure you forever,” Wonwoo said the familiar words and laughs.

It was evident that Mingyu still have words to say, but Chan said, “Okay, that’s enough vows.” Leaving Mingyu to sulk. They always cut and make fun of Mingyu like this. “Honestly hyung, my heart is too weak for your sweet exchanges, alright? Let’s move on,” his laugh was teasing.

**“Ring ceremony!!!”**

Haechan trots with a heart box showing two rings. Wonwoo covered his mouth with his hand, “My ring, I thought I lost it.”

“Here~ Onu~!” Haechan bounced, almost dropping the rings.

Chan smiled bright, “Now place the ring on his hand and repeat after me. With this ring, I promise to cherish each other and the memories we make together.” The couple said the words, after each turn, the blinding brilliance of ring shines on their fingers.

“In the presence of family and friends, you have expressed your love for one another, I pronounce you husbands. You may kiss~”

Chan walks away to find a good spot.

Wonwoo kissed him small yet warm, lips moving in perfect sync and the world around him slowed, so he could be in this moment.

Even if not a true wedding, it is a ‘celebration of love’ moment.

> That was the calm before the storm of a reality TV show ‘ **HomeTeen!** ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! waaaah, another long chapter omg. The reality TV in this story is inspired by the korean reality show 'ROOMATES', have you watched that? It was like the actors and idols in one house but they can go to their schedules.
> 
> By the way, their photoshoot and outfits used in the story is from this (inspired by) their photoshoot in BILLBOARD KOREA 2019


	8. HURT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puddings and Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still in the 'PAST'. More about the reality TV they had back then. I really recommend to play [It's You by Jeong Sewoon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGHm7ANwRM0) while reading the episode part.

**CHAPTER 8**

**P A S T**

**‘HOMETEEN!**

These teens that came from diverse backgrounds are expected to create new unexplored characters and laughter.’

**PD** : So the place will serve as your HOME teens, anyone can go out to do their ‘schedules’. But if there’s none, they have to stay in the house. Chaeyeon will not be doing overnight stays but there’s also no limit to what time she decides to go home. We will give you some missions and you will receive it as an alert on the Television. It will be 1 mission per week. Yes, the TV will be for the alerts from now on. This is a reality show so there are over hundreds of cameras in this house watching your every move. Each will have a moment to share their thoughts with the viewers. So the production team will be interviewing you one by one every Wednesday. There will be a scheduled time and those who have conflicts can just talk to us, we’ll do something about it.

.

.

.

**REC ⬤ Day 1 of HomeTeen**

The afternoon breeze is warm and the kitchen is filled of citrus air. The herbal garden peeks through the door that Wonwoo left open.

Two boys are seated on the floor laughing and exhausted. Mingyu finally caught Wonwoo, who was running around with the bowl of mixture for their lemon pudding cakes. Mingyu dips a finger and draws a line of creamy foam supple on Wonwoo’s cheek.

Wonwoo was pleasantly surprised and did the same to Mingyu’s cheek and in his childish delight, he laughed. “Fine, let’s do this properly,” he stands up.

Their friends, if not in their schedules, are slouched in the living room. It was discussed. Mingyu told them they can laze around because he needs to teach Wonwoo how to make a pudding, dismissing anyone who wants to join.

“Don’t whip it too much, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo was startled by the hand that settled on his arm guiding the way he move the mixing tool, whatever this is.

The contents on the bowl swirled to blend with the citrus air in that fresh aroma.

“Pour it into the cups when you’re done.”

Mingyu’s breath tickles his ears, he is flushing red and one thing he knew, one cup splashed its contents messily on the wooden counter. “Damn. What a waste.” He quickly wipes the spilled mixture off with table napkin, head lowered, “Mingyu! Don’t come close to me!”

“…If I don’t come close to you, I can’t teach you.”

Wonwoo’s cheeks are burning.

The cheers from the living room can be heard from where they stand. _Someone just arrived_.

And that someone saved Wonwoo from saying anything stupid. Because Mingyu’s rustling beside him and heads to where the chaos is with the words, “Let’s rest for a bit.”

Staring into space, Wonwoo sighed.

_I wonder… if this is just because of the cameras around._

And the clumsy giant puppy actually left him here. Wonwoo continued to pour the mixture to the paper cups, gentle like the wind that carries warm air.

Wonwoo’s steps to the living room were careful.

“…Kim Mingyu.” She started, “Is Wonwoo angry with you?”

From where his figure wasn’t that visible from the sofa, Wonwoo can hear Chaeyeon talking with Mingyu.

Mingyu’s voice a tone serious, “I guess Wonwoo found out that I actually don’t want to teach him how to make a pudding.”

“…Why is it?...” She asked.

“…If he can make it by himself… then he may not need me anymore.”

Wonwoo steps back, ashamed that he is ‘quite’ acting different around the man after knowing so many cameras are around them.

_But Mingyu’s feelings…all he ever thinks about is me._

**Mingyu is back in the kitchen**. Wonwoo approached him, “I-I’m fine with it if you’re the one…making it,” he looks away.

“Wonwoo…”

“It’s just…if I know how to make it, I can make one for you…since you were so happy when I made you that cake before.”

Mingyu is reminding himself that there are cameras around. “I’m so happy,” he managed to say without throwing himself to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo takes Mingyu’s hand and drags him to the kitchen counter.

.

.

.

 **“Wow.”** Hansol stared at the lemon puddings on paper cups, like a hundred of them, on the table.

Sparkling eyes and Chan walked to where the group crowds the table, “There are so many puddings!” Soonyoung walks behind him with three cups of puddings.

“Oh? It’s because I messed up the measurements,” Wonwoo said worried.

Soonyoung gets three more cups beside Wonwoo. Jeonghan trails to the living room with two cups and Jihoon has one.

“You’re the best, Wonwoo hyung. I love puddings.” Minghao said.

With pursed lips, Mingyu gets in between Minghao and Wonwoo to get a pudding and stays there. He turns to Wonwoo, “Right. You’re the best.”

Mingyu ignored Minghao’s giggles and remarks of, “Don’t copy my compliments to Wonwoo hyung.”

Wonwoo lovingly stares at the sweet treats, “Haechan loves puddings too. I miss that kid.”

“If Haechan has brothers it’d be fine if we made this much,” Mingyu said before his hand covers his whisper to Wonwoo’s ear, “let’s do ‘it’ lots so we can give him lots of brothers.”

Wonwoo’s face is burning and his hands were captured by Mingyu forbidding him to attack in punches. They’re now bickering if Mingyu should let his hands go or not. Wonwoo struggles to break free and they go walking around like that.

Chaeyeon was watching the two from a far.

Jisoo stood beside her, “Husbands,” he said, taking a bite of his pudding while eyes glued at the two in front of them who are kind of fighting but not really, just flirting. He chuckles because Mingyu asked Wonwoo, ‘Are you a cat?’ Wonwoo is trying to lick Mingyu’s hands off his.

Chaeyeon laughs unamused, “But they are guys.” She said and walks to the living room, distorted face changing as she passed by the two, brightly chirping lots of ‘thank you’ to Wonwoo’s way who smiled and replied a ‘Welcome’.

Jisoo smirked, “…more like gays.”

**REC ⬤ Day 25 of HomeTeen**

_We’re sitting opposite each other._

“Hey, Wonwoo. Go on, eat. ” Jun playfully nudged his best friend out of trance, “What do you want? I’ll get it for you,” he holds up his chopsticks.

“Huh? I’m fine,” he takes a piece of something on his plate, then takes a glimpse of Mingyu.

_Maybe it’s because Mingyu has been going out for schedules while I’ve been staying inside the house. At least he could sit beside me when we eat, right? But no –_

Jeonghan's gaze followed Wonwoo’s chopsticks and observed the latter for a while, before stating, “YAH! You don’t like seafood.”

Soonyoung side eyes Wonwoo’s plate and answered for him, “Aye, it’s okay. He can eat them once in a while, there’s a lot of choices here~” he gestured at the table full of different dishes because everyone is here – a rare moment – having dinner.

Jeonghan tilts his head, with his ‘I think there’s something wrong here?’ kind of face.

“Oh?” Wonwoo can’t believe there’s a big lobster on his plate. He doesn’t even know how to eat this…but he ‘agrees’ to Soonyoung while forcing a smile to Jeonghan’s way.

“I want to MC with Mingyu forever!” Chaeyeon commented at the man seating next to her.

“Right? I’m a good MC, right? It’s fun,” Mingyu said excitedly.

Chaeyeon laughs, “I’m sure they would want to work together with you too. He always brings foods to the staffs and camera directors.” She informed everyone.

Seokmin nods while chewing and said, “You’re good at cooking too.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Mingyu is good at cooking, Yeah,” Hansol agrees. And then he gets distracted by the way Seungkwan was putting all the greens on his plate, not Seungkwan’s plate, he calmly asked the man, “Why?” and Seungkwan answered as calm, “Because you’re not drinking that vitamin juice I’ve been telling you to drink. You need this.” And they started ‘calmly’ bickering at the side.

“Do you want to be a Chef like Aunt Ilhwa?” Jihoon asked.

“I don’t know, as a job?” Mingyu thinks deeply, “But I love how people get all happy while eating my sweets.”

 _As expected, our ‘one good deed begets another’ man._ Wonwoo silently listens. And Jun’s already chomping on his lobster like a cat; he really needs someone like Jun in his life.

“When I was young, I wanted to make my mom happy so I started making sweets,” Mingyu said and Seokmin interjects that Mingyu’s a ‘mama’s boy’.

Mingyu continued, “Now, there are more people I want to make sweets for,” purposely landing his gaze on Wonwoo.

And so does everyone…following Mingyu’s gaze at Wonwoo.

And there are two kinds of people in this world, Jisoo, who didn’t even bother, because even without looking, he knows it for Wonwoo. And Seokmin whose eyes are busy searching what everyone is looking at while wondering why….

Wonwoo felt the gazes on him, burning his cheeks and he looks down.

Seokmin asked Soonyoung what the latter’s been up to, since the BooSeokSoon’s promotion ended. And like that, they were talking above everyone else because they’re seated at both ends of the long table.

Wonwoo looks at the man seated opposite him. Mingyu is still looking at him, receiving a handsome smile thereafter.

“Mingyu, you also like spicy food, right?” Chaeyeon gets Mingyu’s attention as she points to a dish, “This one looks good, doesn’t it?” Their arms are touching.

Wonwoo looks briefly at where she points, “Mingyu has a sweet tooth, so you can’t take spicy food, am I right?”

“Actually, I love both.” Mingyu answered.

Chaeyeon beamed, “We made spicy food together before, remember?” A finger lifting to count, “Like omelette with green chilli~”

“Oh?” Wonwoo listens. _Chaeyeon knows more about Mingyu than I do._

⬤⬤⬤

Fastforward to the reality TV show nearly ending. The dynamics of the group is clear by this time.

 **[** **The following scenes are all in the** _audience point of view_ **_._ This is like watching them on television, with HomeTeen’s normal 1 HR runtime – get your popcorns. ** _Btw, this song was used in this episode ---this is the episodes's anthem:[It's You by Jeong Sewoon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGHm7ANwRM0)_ **]**

**Day 72 of HomeTeen**

[Summary] **Mission of the Week** : **“CHANGE UP”**

 **Guest:** **Park Yura** / Esteem Model Trainer, **Kang Seunghyun** / ESTEEM Model

Practice all the workshops on how to be a ‘model’ and their routines too. Hardworking models also show talents and they also need to be smart so they need to be an ace in answering a question.

 **Participants** [picked by the Trainer]: **Chaeyeon, Seungkwan, Wonwoo, Jisoo, Jeonghan.**

Head-to-head battle: Chaeyeon vs. Jeonghan

**Winner: Jeonghan**

But that night Jeonghan also decided to leave the program because he will no longer stay in the manor.

**NEXT DAY/ Day 73 of HomeTeen**

▶ **Living Room Clip**

 **Mingyu:** “Chaeyeon, can you get me the bread please? *eats an ice cream*

 **Chaeyeon** [Beside her, Seokmin is talking with Jihoon. And Seungkwan was sprawled out on the couch with his head resting on Chaeyeon’s lap]: No. I’m sitting comfortably here *combing Seungkwan’s hair*

 **Mingyu:** “Bread please? Please? With all of my heart please?” *pouting at every question* (At his every question, Chaeyeon answered a small ‘no’) *sound of a baby threatening to cry* uuuuuuung.

 **Seungkwan:** PFFTT you sound like a motorbike.

 **Chaeyeon: *** looks at Seungkwan ***** Do you know what he said to me yesterday? I asked for the chips, I said ‘please’, I’m wearing heels. Do you know what he said to me? There’s only one person who can ask me to do that.”

⏪ **CLIP Last night/ Day 72. At the Kitchen, after announcement of winner.**

 **Jeonghan:** *shakes Mingyu* CHIPSSSSSS!!! [imitating Chaeyeon’s whines]

 **Chaeyeon:** *shakes Mingyu* chiiiiiips.

 **Mingyu: *** stays seated ***** only one person can ask that.

 **Jeonghan:** And wh-?Ah, Wonwoo!!*laughs and fixes his winning crown on Mingyu’s head ***** I was going to ask who and then- *glanced at Wonwoo and walks away happily*

[The camera spans to where Mingyu is looking – to the mirrors where he peeks at Wonwoo’s reflection. And Chaeyeon kept on shaking the man hopelessly.]

▶ **Back in the living Room Clip**

 **Chaeyeon:** *leans back and looked up to fight her tears*

 **Mingyu:** *looks guilty and eyed Seungkwan*

 **Seungkwan:** And he really didn’t get it? *swats Mingyu’s way* Did you know Mingyu, yesterday or the other day, she cried. Really cried real hard, because-

 **Chaeyeon** : *covered Seungkwan’s mouth*

 **Mingyu:** Hmmm?? Why did you cry?

 **Seungkwan** : *nudges Chaeyeon*

 **Chaeyeon** : *wipes a tear and voice cracking* Because what you said really hurt.

**[BGM to build up the tension starts playing]**

**Mingyu:** Huh? Jeonghan was there, too. We were joking. Jeonghan laughed too.

 **Chaeyeon:** *covers eyes and lips quivers, voice still cracking* because it happens all the time. I don’t know, because we’re close before…

 **Mingyu:** We’re still close, right?

 **Chaeyeon:** *wipes tears* and now it really hurts because we’re not talking that much. We only talk when you want me to massage you, when you want to-

 **Mingyu:** We’re still close, right? We’re always together, all of us. This is what I’m talking about. Did you see Jeonghan? He was laughing too. For us, it was just a joke. [CUT] You just don’t know how important you all are to me. I can always go out here, y’know. Why did I even stay here? [camera shows Chaeyeon and Seungkwan] If I don’t have a care about you guys, maybe I’m already out here. You make me all stay here.

 **Chaeyeon:** Okay, I’m sorry. You can stop,

 **Mingyu:** No, it’s not your fault. You can’t also say that it’s not my fault that you’re crying. It’s my fault. And I accept that you’re oversensitive. And I’m adjusting to you guys. But it hurts me too. That’s just my point. *throws some throw pillows out his way* So now, I just need time, okay? *gets up and walks away*

[Camera shows Mingyu went to the herbal garden. Camera spans back to the living room]

 **Seungkwan:** *pats Chaeyeon* He doesn’t know what he’s saying, okay?

 **Chaeyeon:** *CRIES* I’m just so hurt. Because out of all the guys here, he’s really the first guy that I’ve been close with… *cries* and now, it’s like this…*wipes tears* And now that I said it to him, he’s hurting, I shouldn’t have said it.

 **Seokmin:** *pats Chaeyeon* If you didn’t say it. You’ll be keeping that to your heart.

 **Seungkwan** : Yeah. He wouldn’t have known that. What? Are you going to be fake? What you did was right.

 **Jihoon:** The weight that you’ve been keeping to your heart…

 **Seungkwan:** We’ll give Mingyu time to realize his mistakes.

 **Chaeyeon: *CRIES*** [Sad BGM]

**NEXT SCENE**

▶ **Backyard/Herbal garden**

[Wonwoo finds Mingyu alone]

 **Wonwoo:** Oh? What happened to you? *concerned nudge* Hey, why are you sad?

 **Mingyu:** After two months, that I understand who everyone is, Chaeyeon’s feelings…And I’m always the one that understands, always the one that adjusts. I’m asking one thing, why can’t you do that for me? Why can’t you accept me for who am I? My heart hurts.

_\- - -- - - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Kim Mingyu - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Mingyu** : I was hurt by what Seungkwan said. Because after all the things that I did for them. The whole love that I give to them, the whole time that I give to them…then they’ll tell me, ‘You don’t care about us.’ He’s been bugging me where their place in my heart? But they should also be asking, where am I for them? I did everything for them, what else? Or they forgot about it?

_\- - - -- -- - - ---- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

▶ **Back in the living room**

 **Chaeyeon:** I’ll talk to Mingyu

 **Seungkwan:** You think it’s time to talk?

 **Chaeyeon:** I’ll just say sorry because I’m so sensitive sometimes. It’s okay if that’s really how he treats Wonwoo. *rubs at her nape* I don’t know, I’m still hurting but it’s going to be more of a big deal if I don’t fix this now.

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon** : He makes us feel that one person is more important than everyone. We know that he cherish one person but he doesn’t have to say it directly to our faces because it hurts.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

▶ **Backyard/Herbal garden**

 **Chaeyeon:** *walks closer to where Mingyu and Wonwoo is*

 **Mingyu:** Chaeyeon, not now. *doesn’t look at her and voice firm* Not now.

 **Wonwoo:** Chaeyeon, what is it? *Reaches for Chaeyeon. But Chaeyeon backs away* Chaeyeon, what is it?

 **Chaeyeon:** *nods in Mingyu’s way. Rejected and hurt, she walks away*

 **Wonwoo: *** buries his face on his hands *****

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jeon Wonwoo - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Wonwoo:** I also feel hurt, because indirectly, I’m the reason why Mingyu is not that close to the others.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

▶ **Back to the Living Room**

**[Chaeyeon from the backyard goes directly to the art room while wiping her tears away – the ones on the living room panicked]**

**Seungkwan:** What? Why? *follows her*

 **Jihoon:** *follows too*

 **Seokmin:** *follows too* I told you, I don’t want this to happen…

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jeon Wonwoo - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Wonwoo:** Honestly, I didn’t see it, that Mingyu changed. Or that Mingyu’s attitude towards the others changed. I feel bad that that is what they’re feeling. But I can understand both sides.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

▶ **At the art room**

**[Chaeyeon was crying]**

**Seungkwan:** What did he say?

 **Chaeyeon: *** wipes tears ***** Not now. He said, not now. He’s angry. *cries*

 **Seungkwan:** Wow.

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon** : I’m just really affected to the change that they’re always together, Wonwoo and Mingyu. *voice cracks* Ever since that, we’re no longer close. *wipes tears* I don’t want to feel the hurt, but even when I try to forget it, I’m still hurting. *tears flows on her face* I said those things, and I’m really sorry because in return, I also hurt Mingyu’s feelings and Wonwoo’s. *sniffs* So I just want to forget it, because I don’t want to hurt other people.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

**NEXT SCENE.**

▶ **Backyard/Herbal garden**

**[Hansol went to the backyard to find Mingyu with Wonwoo]**

**Hansol:** Bro I fell asleep for 10 minutes, I have no idea what’s happening. Can you guys, tell me please?

 **Wonwoo:** Seungkwan and Chaeyeon told him *points to Mingyu* that he doesn’t care about them anymore.

[CUT] **Hansol** : All that you’ve done to adjust and then you make one mistake and everybody flips out and they say you don’t care about them anymore, *fixed eyes at Mingyu* that’s what’s making you upset. Sooner or later, all of us are going to have to talk about it. I see that, what you’ve said, it’s just a joke. It’s such a small thing.

 **Mingyu** : Jeonghan was laughing.

 **Hansol** : And Jeonghan was laughing.

 **Mingyu:** And that’s it.

 **Hansol:** *nods*

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Hansol Vernon Chwe - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Hansol** : I tried to understand what’s going on because I don’t like to see, the people I’ve grown close with, fight about something that shouldn’t really be fought over. Or it’s not worth fighting over. It’s a small thing. *scratches his head* It’s really not worth it.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

▶ **Back in the Herbal garden**

Hansol: Both sides are not thinking *hand motion* straight now. Both sides have pride on the line now. Let’s just go inside and see what happens, yeah?

Wonwoo: *turns to Mingyu* Come on.

▶ **In the dining area**

*There is still tension between Mingyu and Chaeyeon*

*They are still avoiding each other*

**[Sad BGM: It's You.]**

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Kim Mingyu - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Mingyu** : I see them all the same. As a family, I won’t choose between them. My point is, I just made a joke, and then, she felt hurt that fast. Even if you don’t want to hurt her [CUT] I know everyone is different, and as much as I can, I need to understand them. Whatever understanding that they need from me, I still have to have a longer patience with them. That’s what my mother and father told me before, I don’t have much patience. And this reality show is giving me that character…to be a better person and a better friend.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

▶ **THAT NIGHT at the Herbal garden**

They are still talking about the ‘issue’. The herbal garden was designed with hanging lights for chill nights like these. But the tension is thick in the summer night air where Chaeyeon, Seungkwan, Seokmin, Hansol, and Wonwoo are talking.

 **Chaeyeon:** Mingyu and I, we are no longer close… He…treats me differently.

 **Hansol:** I didn’t …see that [CUT] When I don’t like a person, just friends with everyone and I’m really nice to everyone. But if I start liking someone and that someone sees it and I’m still playing with everyone. And I’m still being that nice to everyone, that’s ‘fuckboi’ or like ‘playboy 101’ Because If I’m always doing that to you, *kiss the air* on the cheeks. If I’m doing that kisses and hug hug, then that someone walks in and sees me do that. What’s he *looks at Wonwoo* going to think? [CUT] But it wasn’t meant as a…

 **Chaeyeon:** I’m sorry

 **Hansol:** No, you don’t have to say sorry. It was just a misunderstanding.

_\- - - - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon** : I feel guilty because I shouldn’t have said that. I really want to adjust more for Mingyu and Wonwoo because I don’t want that we’re like this. Some people…sometimes they would change…And then, that’s okay. Because you will just have to be thankful for…to him, to the beautiful things he gave you. And be happy for their happiness…*tears up*

I was hurt because it always happens to me. Whenever there’s someone who cares for me.(⏪ **Flashbacks to Week 3 Mingyu and Chaeyeon hugs)**

Then, I will appreciate them. And suddenly they will change and then disappear. I don’t want people to know this but…because Mingyu, I really became close with him. I really like his personality. I like that he’s so caring and he’s really a good person. Everything that I want in a person …Mingyu has them. And he showed me so so so much care.

I don’t know what happened but he suddenly stopped,

(⏪ **Flashbacks to Day 58 when Mingyu and Wonwoo cooks dinner and Chaeyeon watches them from a far)**

And I thought…. *endless tears*

 **PD:** Chaeyeon, are you saying you like him?

 **Chaeyeon:** I really like him.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -_

**NEXT DAY/ Day 74 of HomeTeen**

▶ **Dining area**

[Sad BGM: It’s You.]

 **Chaeyeon:** *does something with the plates, back facing Mingyu.*

 **Mingyu:** *walks close to Chaeyeon and his arms wrapped around her shoulders in a back hug*

 **Chaeyeon:** *face lights up and smiled bright as she faced Mingyu to properly hug him too* *muffles to the fabric* I thought you’re still angry. *they were hugging tight*

 **Mingyu:** I’m sorry. *patting Chaeyeon’s back*

 **Chaeyeon:** I’m sorry. *hugs tighter*

▶ **Living room**

 **Seungkwan:** *From the mirrors, sees that Chaeyeon and Mingyu are hugging each other* *Pulls Wonwoo up from where he’s seated*

 **Wonwoo:** *Stands up to see what caused Seungkwan’s excitement*

**[Camera spans to the dining area where the two are hugging. After a few seconds, camera view is back to the living room]**

**Wonwoo:** *hands on his mouth* Aweee.

 **Seungkwan:** *walked to a spot where he can see it more*

 **Jihoon:** *laughing cutely*

 **Jisoo:** *sleeping(?) on the couch*

▶ **Dining area**

 **Mingyu:** …for everything I’ve done.

 **Chaeyeon:** I’m sorry.

 **Mingyu:** I’m so sorry.

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Kim Mingyu - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Mingyu** : I can’t take it if Chaeyeon’s sad. I understand her.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - -_

**Mingyu:** *breaks the hug* Can you smile now? Your image in ruined now.

 **Chaeyeon:** *slaps Mingyu chest and laughs before hugging him again*

_\- - -- - - - - - - -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon:** I will be fine. I will still admire him as a friend. I will understand him more. And I will move on.

_\- - - -- -- - - -- -- -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - - - -_

[Chaeyeon and Mingyu hugging with the soft romantic BGM marks the end of today’s episode]

**[ End of** _audience point of view_ **_._ You just finished watching an episode of HomeTeen’s with it’s normal 1 HR runtime]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! You watched the 'episode' that was also aired for the korean viewers. Can you tell how HomeTeen is viewed? Leave a comment. More will be revealed on the next chapters.
> 
> \---Pointers for aired episode---
> 
> 1st POV: scenes are aired on TV
> 
> REC ⬤ : A normal day in the house while being recorded by the camera
> 
> ▶: (in the episode) showing their location as their interactions are being played(showed) in the TV
> 
> ⏪ : (in the episode) shows a flashback
> 
> [CUT]: scenes where cutted due to the editing
> 
> I really recommend to play It's You by Jeong Sewoon while reading the episode part. Because it is included in the edited scenes where Chaeyeon is crying or having moments.


	9. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 'popular' episode

**P A S T**

**‘HOMETEEN!**

These teens that came from diverse backgrounds are expected to create new unexplored characters and laughter.’

**[ The following scenes are all in the** _audience point of view_ **_._ This is like watching them on television, with HomeTeen’s normal 1 HR runtime – get your popcorns. ** _Btw, this song was used in this episode ---this is the episodes's anthem:[It's You by Jeong Sewoon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGHm7ANwRM0)_ **]**

⏪FLASHBACKS

⏪ **CLIP Day 73. Chaeyeon’s Commentary.**

_I like that he’s so caring and he’s really a good person. Everything that I want in a person …Mingyu has them. And he showed me so so so much care. I really like him._

⏪ **CLIP Day 73. Art room.**

 **Seungkwan:** You like Mingyu?

**Chaeyeon: MY GOSH *blushes* AAAAH~**

⏪ **CLIP Day 76. Dining area**

 **It was part of their mission, to compose a song together.** And Seungkwan added highlight parts with the lyrics My Princess (name) and My Prince (name) for ‘two people’.

 **Seungkwan:** (to Mingyu) Say My Princess Chaeyeon and (to Chaeyeon) you say My Prince Mingyu *points* here, okay?

**Chaeyeon & Mingyu: *sings in chorus* I feel like I’m crazy. I’m crazy for you -**

**Mingyu: *** shifting gaze and off key sings* My Princess Chaeyeon

**Chaeyeon: *smiling while singing* My Prince Mingyu.**

**[upbeat romantic BGM: Chaeyeon plays with Mingyu’s cheeks]**

**NEXT SCENE** [At the living room; a brief tensioned BGM to tone up a jealous atmosphere]

**Wonwoo: I don’t want to hear that song again because of you.**

**Mingyu:** But the song is great!

 **Wonwoo:** AYE! *in a small voice* It’s because you sing it like that.

 **Chaeyeon:** *laughs and agrees*

 **Mingyu: *turns to Wonwoo to start a bicker*** So anything that I do? even if it’s from the heart, it’s UGLY? You see it as UGLY?!

 **Wonwoo:** *laughs in protest and follows Mingyu* That’s not wh-

 **Mingyu:** *Walks away with Wonwoo* OH MY GADEU!

 **Wonwoo:** *gives up and just laughs*

 **Mingyu:** AHHH

[camera pans to the happy duo with a happy bgm]

 **Seungkwan:** Yes.

 **Chaeyeon:** I really love the song.

**Day 87 of HomeTeen**

▶ **At the bedroom.**

 **[Chaeyeon is back to reality because right now, she’s with Mingyu. And they are both taking care of Wonwoo who almost fainted and is having a fever.** The two of them settled on both sides of the sleeping Wonwoo. **]**

[IT’S YOU BGM]

 **Chaeyeon:** I really want the three of us to be happy.

 **Mingyu:** Yeah. *looks down at Wonwoo’s sleeping face* The more time I stay here, the more that I get to know everybody. *He started sharing his feelings about Wonwoo* I did a big wall in my heart. I promised to myself that no one can pass that wall. That’s why I don’t understand how he broke my wall. [Camera spans to Chaeyeon with a Sad BGM and a sad smile as she continued to listen to Mingyu]

 **Mingyu:** I don’t know, some way…somehow he did.

 **Chaeyeon:** *nods* *caresses Wonwoo’s hair*

 **Mingyu:** When you’re with that person, you’re always smiling. *completely focused on Wonwoo* You want to be the reason why she or he is smiling. I just want to use the time that I still have here now that he’s here with me. I sometimes feel afraid, you don’t know if you will see her or him again.

 **Chaeyeon:** *nods*

**NEXT SCENE**

▶ **At the** **Herbal garden.**

**Everyone is gathered as well as Wonwoo who wasn’t feeling better a while ago. Except Chaeyeon who was talking with Seungkwan at the Art room.**

▶ **Art Room** **[*SAD BGM]**

 **Chaeyeon: *** looks down* Mingyu said Wonwoo is so special. He said he’s so different…that Wonwoo is an amazing person.He loves all of us here, but it’s really Wonwoo that he’s afraid of losing.

 **Seungkwan:** And of all people, he told YOU that, is that what you’re saying?

 **Chaeyeon:** I feel insecure.

 **Seungkwan:** *sits up* AYE! There’s so many people who loves you. You’re beautiful, you achieve so much, why are you insecure?

 **Chaeyeon:** *Tears up* I’m having a hard time…

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- -_

**[ITS YOU BGM]**

**Chaeyeon:** *Sobbing and tries to say her sentences with her voice cracking every now and then* Sometimes, I still think…

‘I hope it was me…I wish it was me instead.’

I don’t want to think about that because Wonwoo is my friend…and I want the two of them to be happy. But I feel really hurt. And I shouldn’t be feeling this. Because there’s nothing going on between us.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

**Seungkwan: *** holds Chaeyeon’s hand while giving advices ***** First, you need to accept everything. If he really doesn’t love you…If it’s’ really for you, then it will be yours. There’s a right time for that. I’ll be here for you. I will help you get through this. But it will start with yourself, because it’s not my decision to make. Whatever I say, if your heart still doesn’t listen, it’s not going to move on. *hugs his best friend*

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon:** I want to accept everything that not everyone will like you. And I want to accept that he likes someone else. I don’t want to interfere between them.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

**Day 87 of HomeTeen**

**They prepared letters for each other.**

▶AT THE ART ROOM. [ITS YOU BGM]

**[CLIP of Chaeyeon letter for Wonwoo – ]**

**Wonwoo reads Chaeyeon’s letter for him:** Thank you for the care. I’m blessed to have a friend like you. You are one of the most intelligent and talented guy that I know. I will miss you so much when this all ends. But you’re in my heart always. *He smiled and they hugged.*

 **Chaeyeon:** I need to tell you something.

 **Wonwoo:** Hmm?

 **Chaeyeon:** I need to say sorry to you. I realized that I drifted away from you because I like Mingyu that time. And I cried that time when he said that ‘one person’ can make him do things. I felt really hurt. And now, really I don’t want it, because even if it hurts for me but I’m hurting more that I’m drifting away from you because of that. That’s why I really have to say sorry because I’m avoiding you just because of that. I’m telling myself to throw it away but I’m really hurting inside. *she starts crying* There’s nothing wrong with you. I was avoiding you because I feel quite insecure with myself. Sorry, I didn’t mean it. I don’t want us to be like this. It’s really hard. *they hugged again*

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jeon Wonwoo- - - - -- -_

**Wonwoo:** I was shocked. I thought, she likes Hansol…It’s weird that I didn’t notice that it was like that. But, it’s normal to learn to like a person.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

**Wonwoo:** I’m sorry too.

 **Chaeyeon:** It’s not your fault. I believe that he’ll take care of you. And you two will be happy. That’s why I’m happy now.

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon:** I asked for forgiveness. I told Wonwoo the truth so I can be free. I want that we can be happy again.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

▶ **At the Art Room**

**[Next Chaeyeon’s letter for Mingyu ]**

[Before opening the door, Chaeyeon sprayed perfume to herself and then to the air]

 **Mingyu:** *enters* Oh? What’s this? The room smells good.

 **Chaeyeon:** Dear Mingyu, how do I start? To so many memories we had together…and everything that happened just this 2 months. Can you still remember when we first met? [ ⏪ **CLIP Day 1. When Chaeyeon entered the house and Mingyu sees her.** ] I really thought at first, you’re a snob. I told myself, ‘he’s so handsome but snob’. And as time passed by, I didn’t realize that we’ll be so close. I didn’t imagine that even though I’m oversensitive sometimes and even though you needed to adjust big time for me… [ ⏪ **CLIP Day 16. When they hugged before Chaeyeon went home** ] You still choose to approach me and you always understand me. And I realized that you’re like my hero, just one call away. When I cry, you’re there for me. When I’m wounded or tired or when in pain, you’re there. Even if I have lame jokes, you’re still there, listening. Thank you for being one of the reasons that I smile. Now I can say that I know you better now. You’re selfless with a big heart. Thank you for all the love, care and understanding.

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon:** You have to say to someone that you appreciate him. Because you know that he deserves to hear those words.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

**Chaeyeon:** Even if this is over, when we meet again, I will bond with you more and have more adventures with you. I will never forget everything you’ve done for me. I promise to always give back, the love you’ve given me, for as long as you promise we will be friends forever. Promise?

 **Mingyu:** I promise. Come here *hugs Chaeyeon*

[camera pans to Chaeyeon crying with a sad bgm]

 **Mingyu:** Wow.

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jung Chaeyeon - - - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon:** I cried because I was happy that I’ve been true to myself that I told him what I really wanted to say to him. Even if I didn’t tell him everything, I’ve told him the most important things.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

[Chaeyeon’s requested the PDs to play a song that she and Mingyu could dance to. **The song** ** _[It's You by Jeong Sewoon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGHm7ANwRM0)_** **started blasting through the speakers in the ART Room** ]

 **Chaeyeon:** *blushes hard* **walked closer to Mingyu*

 **Mingyu:** *takes Chaeyeon's hand*

*Hugging each other through the slow dance*

[the camera pans to Chaeyeon’s expression scrunched to hold back her tears and hugs Mingyu tightly]

[AFTER THE DANCE] **Mingyu:** Can have it? That’s the best letter I’ve ever had.

 **Chaeyeon:** Don’t let the others see it. They’ll get jealous because this letter is longer than the others. Promise?

 **Mingyu:** Okay, Promise. *Hugs again* You’re the best. You’re one of the best friend I’ve ever had.

**NEXT SCENE**

**[Mingyu went out of the Art room]**

**Chaeyeon:** *Peeks* Bye Mingyu *blush*

 **Mingyu:** Bye Chaeyeon.

 **Mingyu:** *smiles to Seungkwan* Wow.

 **Seungkwan:** You know? Do you know now?

 **Mingyu:** *smiles*

**[Seungkwan enters the Art room]**

**Chaeyeon:** *smiling*

 **Seungkwan:** You told him???

 **Chaeyeon:** I just thanked him for everything.

 **Seungkwan:** *sings* IT’S YOUUU ~

 **Chaeyeon:** You heard it?

 **Seungkwan** : *nods and sings*

▶ **AT THE LIVING ROOM**

 **Mingyu:** *smiling* *flops on the sofa, in between Wonwoo and Jun*

 **Wonwoo:** *glances at Mingyu*

 **Mingyu: *hums the song*** **It’s You, even if I close my** – OH MY GADEU ***hides face in his hand*** **WHAT?**

 **Jun:** *laughs* I know why!!

 **Wonwoo:** I also know why.

 **Mingyu:** *giggles* wow.

**Mingyu: *sings*It’s you, I only see y-**

**Wonwoo: *nudges*** shut up

 **Mingyu: I only see shut up** *laughs*

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Jeon Wonwoo - - - - -- -_

**Wonwoo:** Mingyu was like *hand on his forehead* ‘WHAT? IT’S NOT TRUE. WHAT? I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’ and I was like *face contorts comically*

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

**Mingyu: *leans close to Wonwoo*** Hm? Why are you crying?

 **Wonwoo:** I’m not crying.

 **Mingyu:** *leans* you are, why?

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Kim Mingyu - - - - -- -_

**Mingyu:** He started crying. I saw that.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- -- --_

▶ **At the Herbal garden**

 **Mingyu:** Tell me.

 **Wonwoo:** What? What do you want me to tell you?

 **Mingyu:** Promise me that it’s nothing. Why?

 **Wonwoo:** It’s nothing

 **Mingyu:** If it’s nothing you’re not going to react like that.

 **Wonwoo:** It’s honestly a question. Why were you acting like *copies Mingyu* ‘What? It’s not true~’

 **Mingyu:** You were crying for that? I was like, ‘wow, really?’ because Chaeyeon gave me one of the best letters that I’ve ever had. So I don’t want to assume…but if you put all the things together…y’know what I mean…

 **Wonwoo:** Did you notice that Chayeon and I aren’t that, y’know, close… the reason is because of that, that she liked you.

 **Minyu:** likeD?

 **Wonwoo:** Yeah, that’s what she said.

 **Mingyu:** Now-OH MY GaDEU. Now I understand everything.

_\-- - - - -- -Solo Interview / Commentary: Kim Mingyu - - - - -- -_

**Mingyu:** Now I understand. It hurts me inside, because even if I don’t see her like Wonwoo…it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about her. She’s like my friend. She’s like my sister.

_\---- ------ -- --- - -end of commentary - - -- - - -- -- -- --_

**Mingyu:** *coughs* jealous *coughs*

 **Wonwoo:** Yah *slaps Mingyu’s arm* *laughs* 

**Mingyu:** *laughs and stared at Wonwoo*

 **Wonwoo:** Just a bit. Like tiny bit. But it’s nothing.

 **Mingyu:** *doesn’t believe face*

[CUT] **Mingyu:** You don’t have to, because I don’t know why I really like you. I’m going to be loyal to you.

**[NEXT CLIP:** ▶ **OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM]**

***Camera pans to Wonwoo and Mingyu hugging***

**Mingyu:** Good night.

 **Wonwoo:** -Night.

**[ End of** _audience point of view_ **_._ You just finished watching an episode of HomeTeen’s with it’s normal 1 HR runtime]**

**Those were the two famous episodes.** There was an episode after that where Seungkwan saw another letter for Mingyu. Chaeyeon can’t hide her excitement. Seungkwan was joking that he’ll throw it in the trash can and they were running around...and end up in the Art Room.

▶ **Art Room**

 **Seungkwan:** You don’t deserve that kind of man who loves someone else. You deserve someone who will give his whole love to you. What will we title this if this was a movie?

 **Chaeyeon:** Okay, say it. ‘The brokenhearted Chaeyeon!’

And it runs three more episodes before the show closed to its end.

**GENERAL FEEDBACKS WERE** –

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! We're still in the past and the next chapters will still focus on what happened after HomeTeen. 
> 
> **Leave a comment.**
> 
>   
>   
> 


	10. Don't Smile.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Chan's POV. And we have Mingyu reacting to video messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave the song playing in the background if you can.  
> If there's clarifications, say it in the comment section.  
> Enjoy reading!
> 
> (Warning: homophobic remarks.)

**CHAPTER 10**

**P A S T**

_Because you’re by my side I am able to have strength,_  
Just looking at you makes tears come.  
If you see my heart and feel my true love,

(Play: [All with you by Taeyeon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFT_sBuQc88))

HOMETEEN ran for almost 3 months. It overlapped with the resume of classes, so all of them needed to decide if they will stay in the program.

Lee Chan was the first one to leave HomeTeen. He’s the youngest and felt like his priorities are studies. Also, his screentime adds up to less than that of the guests.

In every episode their dynamics were the focus most of the time. But with the coming of the show’s closing, it changed.

He tried to understand that their plenty of moments needed to be trimmed down to 1 HR. But then everything became like a hurricane of unrequited love show of Chaeyeon, Mingyu and Wonwoo.

The general population is sympathizing with Chaeyeon.

When these popular episodes were aired, the response was streaming like fire. And Chan can’t believe that his Wonwoo hyung is receiving the burning end.

_Which was unfair because Wonwoo hyung didn’t do anything wrong. Why is he receiving harsh comments like this?_

  1. [+2,999, -159] Mingyu only looked at him because that Wonwoo keeps flirting.
  2. [+2,586, -130] I’m not a teen but I watched this show. My experiences have made me see good people die of AIDS.
  3. [+2,069, -117] Wonwoo you disgusting trash, get your stinky musky ass away from Mingyu. You dirty piece of scam to the society.
  4. [+2,029, -138] Korea is collapsing because of the likes of you. It’s shameful to be in this same country with you Wonwoo. Kindly leave the country OR ELSE
  5. [+1,880, -91] Please forgive me if I seem harsh, I love people in general. But why not open a special page for homosexual community instead of imposing your general ideas to conventional audience including on our god given conscience, confusing our children and having not enough self-esteem to accept a gender they were naturally born in. One thing is to….admire someone and another thing is to do everything to keep a man to yourself. That’s very low. You don’t have to do this, Wonwoo. Mingyu, educate yourself and get help from those of your families and good professionals that care about your moral standards and spiritual well beings.
  6. [+803, -47] I’m sure this will depress you, BE A MAN. A man with wise choices.
  7. [+803, -48] Cheater, you plastic surgery fool…you will go to hell.
  8. [+756, -44] he so skinny bcs he be feeding on c*cks
  9. [+661, -46] jeon ugly wonwoo, kindly k*ll yourself
  10. [+614, -39] how selfish jeon wonwoo!!! LoOk bck on your self



Chan made an account to follow the responses and it was heart-breaking. He also messaged his hyungs about it. Why did it come to this surge of hate?

You like the same sex and they act like you just killed someone.

And the people keep on calling Chaeyeon selfless and brave, all because she confessed her ‘forbidden’ love? Are you kidding me?

WHAT ABOUT WONWOO’S FEELINGS HUH?

That man didn’t even have that ‘Mingyu is mine’ kind of thinking.

Chan searched for clips of HomeTeen in the internet. **Clicking to view:**

⏪ **CLIP Day 53. At the Herbal Garden**

 **Mingyu:** (to Hansol, Jun, and Minghao) We (with PD) talked about Wonwoo. Limitations and other things of course.

[CUT] **Minghao** : You shouldn’t think about what the other people are thinking about you.

 **Mingyu:** Yeah, but I don’t care about me, Minghao. I care about him. I don’t mean to but it still happened. *cries* I just want the best for him….but even if I want the best for that one person…he will still be in trouble.

(Wonwoo also talked to the PD and he came back crying.)

 **Mingyu** (to Wonwoo who cried that time): I want to say sorry, for everything that I’ve done. What if you’re in trouble because of me? And you’re crying now.

 **Wonwoo:** No, it’s okay.

 **Mingyu:** I’m hurting because, I just want to show you my feelings but they said…just limitations from everything we do.

 **Wonwoo:** Yeah. *prepares to go inside*

 **Mingyu:** Can I have a hug?

*The two hugged*

They have seen the broadcast right? Mingyu cried for Wonwoo, something that happened not just once.

And they did show the clips when Mingyu and Chaeyeon fought over small things, something that happened NOT just once.

⏪ **CLIP Day 45. At the living room**

 **Mingyu:** *ruffles Wonwoo’s hair messily* I like you.

 **Wonwoo:** but you’re way kinder to others *laughs and smacks Mingyu*

 **Mingyu:** That’s the point. *throws pillows at Wonwoo*

 **Wonwoo:** Shut up. I hate you.

 **Mingyu:** I hate you too.

Chan laughs because it’s so obvious they’ve been using that ‘I hate you’ in a different context.

He’s binge watching HomeTeen clips now, just the Mingyu and Wonwoo moments. ‘That’s the point,’ just like what Mingyu said – Mingyu treats Wonwoo like the giant prankster boy with childish heart that Mingyu is. Their personalities match well.

There was a time when the two were hugging and Mingyu drops Wonwoo on the floor – to which Chan started searching for that clip. OH MY GAHD that was epic.

And if Mingyu does the same to Chaeyeon, it wouldn’t be the same – because she’s oversensitive.

As Chan recalls, Jeonghan was the ‘last’ one to leave HomeTeen. The rest who stayed behind – _Chaeyeon, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Hansol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, Jihoon, Jun and Jisoo_ – were the ones who are now **managed by SCE**. They are the ones who are still out in the media, making headlines. Also, they are the ones who haven’t talked to the ones who left the program before it ended.

And they are the ones who haven’t responded to Chan’s messages. It’s making him frustrated.

**⬤⬤⬤**

**Few days later.**

Chan watched a broadcast.

In this segment, Mingyu have to watch from a projected screen, the messages of his HOMETEEN friends to him.

**Mingyu’s reaction is seen as a box on the bottom right of the screen.**

AFTER Chaeyeon’s message –

 **Mingyu** (to Chaeyeon) **:** Now, you approached me as a girl. I’m… as a friend, as a teenager, as a man *his voice cracking*, as a boy…I want to take care of you. Now that I know your feelings, I won’t let it go to waste. Because, you’re still a girl, you’re still a friend for me. You’re still someone for me. You’re not the kind who just walk in my life and then ‘goodbye~’? Maybe you’re someone that…you just can’t forget. And I want to get to know you more.

*smiles*

Maybe that was my mistake. I didn’t get to know you in the house. I didn’t permit you to know me…

*stops and looks up to think*

no, to know you. I didn’t use the time.

*got confused and breathes* *nods*

I just thought of my feelings (to Wonwoo, to my bro Hansol…) But with you? When you’re always there beside me? I’m like, ‘Oh It’s Chaeyeon, ok fine’ (like it’s nothing) And that’s my big mistake. You were always there for me, and I was there for you. But I was not there with the heart. And that’s my big mistake. I want to repay every mistake for every day that I’ve done. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, if I hurted you. I hope you forgive me.

**Then comes the last message from Wonwoo.**

_\-- - - - -- -At the screen - - - - -- -- - - -- -_

**Wonwoo:** *sweet tone*I hate you.It’s been a while to have that person beside me, who always annoys me…that one person who’s always sweet to us. That person who’s very hard-headed but has a very soft heart…

 **[Mingyu’s reaction at the bottom:** ***can’t keep still*** *combing his hair* *moving with an awkward expression as he tries to hold back his tears *]

 **Wonwoo:** Even if you’re not here right now, you’re always *scratches head and gets shy* in my heart and mind. Always take care of yourself and don’t forget that we love you.

_\-- - - - -- -message ended - - - - -- -- - - -- -_

**Interviewer #1 (Yuri):** Whoa. *laughs* are we Mingyu? We’re the only ones affected (not Mingyu)?

 **Mingyu: *** nodsalong, smiling and lowered his head to hide his teary expression ***** *gets a handkerchief and covered his face while he cries silently*

 **Yuri:** AWEEE Our baby boy. You really missed ‘THEM’ huh? It’s okay. You will all be together again. What do you want to say to Wonwoo? He said, ‘I hate you’.

 **Mingyu** (to Wonwoo) **:** I hate you too. You’re a really big…PFFT. You’re so I don’t know…you know. After a long time, I told you, that you’re just the one…that you, did that…you break the wall. And now that you break it, **we can let Chaeyeon enter**. *laughs*

**Interviewers: *laughs out loud* *chaos***

**Interviewer #2 Hyoyeon: *highfives Mingyu***

**Interviewer #3 Kevin:** Back to your message to Wonwoo.

 **Mingyu:** You’re that person for me now…I always think about you, I’m like _‘did he already eat?’_ *voice cracking and looks down* _‘Is he smiling now?’_ I want to see you again…as everybody (hometeens) But you’re just the one to really make me smile.

*soft voice*

Even if I don’t think about it, you always make me smile. Even if I was sad, inside my heart, it was _‘Mingyu don’t smile. Mingyu don’t smile.’_ Everytime that I see your face, it’s like _‘AH, I don’t have problems anymore’_ and…

*looks up to inaudible voice of someone off-cam* *straightens up*

…we were just teens. And I want to know you more, as I want to know more about Chaeyeon too. I took the most of my time inside the house to get to know you, but I didn’t think about Chaeyeon. That’s why maybe I’ve been selfish? I’m thinking about just my feelings. That’s why maybe Jihoon is right? *nods* I was insensitive… because I hurted you i- i- mean...*shakes head * I hurted the others. But really, thank you for everything that you did for me…for everything that I’ve learned from you. And I hope that we’ll venture together.

[Then it was time to look back at some moments. From the studio, they have to react/watch a clip --- particularly that one moment when Mingyu told Chaeyeon about his feelings for Wonwoo. That time Wonwoo had a fever and was sleeping]

_\-- - -- - - - -- -Playing Clip - - - -- - - -- -_

⏪ **CLIP Day 87 of HomeTeen**

[Note: Mingyu is watching this clip with the interviewers. His reactions are seen as a box at the bottom right of the screen]

 **Chaeyeon:** I really want the three of us to be happy.

[ **Mingyu’s reactions in the screen** : tries to smile, a big smile]

 **Mingyu:** I just want to use the time that I still have here now that he’s here with me. We’ve know each other when we were just kids, he treated me the best. But he had to go to another country for his mother. Then after that, I grew up with friends where I discovered that they were nice to me because of my background or the girls that I’ve dated, they were just looking to a part of me, my external part. It was tiring and it hurts. *looks at the sleeping Wonwoo*

 **Mingyu:** I did a big wall, a really big wall, in my heart. And I promised to myself that not anyone, not any girl or boy, can pass that wall. I was so sure that I can do it. That’s what happen for a lot of times, even when if there are girls that come beside me or sometimes tried to kiss me *laughs*, I just leave them.

 **Chaeyeon:** *laughs* really?

[ **Mingyu’s reactions in the screen** : *tries to smiles*]

 **Mingyu:** And that’s why I don’t understand how he broke the wall.

[ **Mingyu’s reactions in the screen** : his smile broke, scrunching his nose and face crumpling into an awkward expression, he was trying to stop his tears but failed; he wipes every falling tears with his fingers]

 **Mingyu:** And He came back and I’m…

[ **Mingyu’s reactions in the screen** : wipes tears with fingers]

 **Mingyu:** …still so attached to him. Now you can understand, why…he’s just ‘the one’ that broke that wall.

 **Chaeyeon:** *nods*

_\-- - -- - - - -- -End Clip - - - -- - - -- -_

**[BACK AT THE STUDIO]**

**Mingyu:** *crying while trying to smile*

 **Yuri:** What do you want to say? Do you want to say anything about what you saw?

 **Mingyu: PASS!** *laughs*

*off-cam people started laughing*

 **Kevin:** *gives a box of tissues to Mingyu*

 **Mingyu: *** takes itand wipes his tears*

 **Yuri:** Pass? Wh- Kevin? Why are you crying too?

 **Kevin:** *wipes his tear*

 **Yuri:** Do you remember that moment? Do you remember saying those things?

 **Mingyu: *** nods* Yeah, I still remember. Like those were the things that I’ve always wanted to say to Wonwoo. I don’t know why but every time I tried to tell him, I always block myself. *straightens up* but because Chaeyeon is a BIG help for me. And you know, when something can help you, and that for me is Chaeyeon, I can let my feelings out. I don’t know how to say ‘thank you’ to her. Especially when I knew that she has feelings for me, I don’t know HOW MANY FLOWERS I HAVE TO SEND TO HER TO SAY THANK YOU. Also the funny things is *laughs* Wonwoo was not sleeping. He told me that he heard it.

 **Yuri:** Ah, he ‘LIED’ that he was sleeping?

 **Mingyu:** Yeah, and I thought he was sleeping *laughs*

 **Yuri:** So after all, you heard everything that you wanted to tell him, that because of Chaeyeon you were able to tell, and he heard it all even if he LIED about sleeping.

 **Mingyu:** Yeah.*laughs*

 **Yuri:** So what was that feeling after finally saying everything?

 **Mingyu:** I was like, ‘AH I don’t have regrets.’

**Chan stopped watching the broadcast.**

There’s something wrong here…what did he just watched. He scanned to the responses online and the people are going nuts.

_Mingyu hyung, what a joke, Wonwoo break the wall. And now that he broke it, let Chaeyeon enter? Big mistake?_

His heart is heavy with all the attacks his Wonwoo hyung is getting.

_What happened? You were scared before, right? That this will happen… But what you did just now? Looks like, the hate comments are not going to stop_ _anytime soon._

Chan's eyes are burning from tears that are threatening to fall. With fingers shaking, he types his messages to his hyungs.

‘Why is this happening? Wonwoo didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘Why is Mingyu suddenly acting like that? I’m hurting for Wonwoo’

‘Hyungs? Someone please make sure Wonwoo is fine.’

Chan is still hurt but he was _still hopeful_ – until the next day happened –

Mingyu was photographed not wearing the ‘ring’.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment. Your feedbacks inspires this author to write!


	11. I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol's POV. Chaeyeon's 'I'm happy for them'. Wonwoo and Mingyu fights in different languages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to @yutaka5a1 and @marusemi070 for the help in Japanese; @alessia_00, @Interity and @ Serena_D for Italian. From HiNative!

**P A S T**

_I call you moonchild, we are the children of the moon,  
We draw breath from the cold  
Yes we’re living and dying at the same time _

(Play: [4 o’clock by BTS V & Rap Monster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OclJGueTTHM))

**RING. RING. RING.**

Seungcheol picks up the call, “Minghao.” It’s his cousin who’s in China right now.

“Hyung. Why? What did Wonwoo do? Why is he receiving hate? Hyung. These haters are crazy. They say all the good shit only to Chaeyeon? What did Chaeyeon do? She’s involved in so many issues in so little time in the house that I was aware of her existence, and people think there’s nothing wrong with her?”

“I’m going to talk to the boys. I’ll try to do something about it. But we can only endure the pain for now.”

“Okay hyung.”

⬤⬤⬤

Even if the house was owned by the Choi Family, it was only a summer vacation house. So, when the school started, Seungcheol left the production, the house and everything to his friends. Unlike them, he can’t risk his studies.

He grew up knowing the responsibility of being the heir of their family’s business grandeur. And his priorities are clashing with what the Reality TV demands of him.

It was almost 4AM. Seungcheol waited for PD-nim, Solar, in SCE broadcasting. Before starting the Reality TV Show, she was the one who talked with him about all the arrangements and stuff. And now she’s the only PD who’s willing to talk to him.

“You only need to know one thing,” Solar started, “The story, the flow, everything…it’s really told through the edit.”

He walked home with a heavy heart.

Steps stuttering and slowly realizing many things, under the moonlight…it’s just him and the thoughts dawning in a contrast to what his heart wants. The blinding truth is one that’s difficult to comprehend, and people are scary, how did we end up living like this?

The editing, it was always in favor of Chaeyeon.

From the start, even when the dynamics of the group are showcased, they made sure they included in the cuts when Chaeyeon and Mingyu are near to each other to probably hint their ‘closeness’.

Seungcheol shakes his head, unbelieving. The evil editing made Mingyu look bad. And the worst is that it justified Chaeyeon’s behaviour.

Even the BGM (background music) were chosen wisely. To make scenes look romantic? Also, to build up tension…like, to create an atmosphere of ‘jealousy’ because they really made Wonwoo look like a jealous kid?

Everyone saw it as that, and not as what Seungcheol had witnessed.

⬤⬤⬤

The next day, Seungcheol stayed in his bedroom all day.

AND that kid finally replied to his flood messages, **Jeon** **WW** :

( more…)

You can tell hyung everything okay?

Wonwoo, how are you? I hope you’re doing well.

**I’m fine, hyung.**

Seungcheol’s heart sinks even more. Wonwoo’s message is IM FINE, HYUNG when he should be hurting, with so much hate he’s receiving, he’s a person after all…. But Seungcheol’s kind of proud that Wonwoo is taking everything with a strong heart.

He wished he knew what is really going on. He sighed, easily sulking that Wonwoo is not sharing anything with him, and the rest of his friends who are under the management of SCE.

‘SOMEONE LEAKED AN UN-AIRED/ UNRELEASED CLIP OF HOMETEEN!!!!’

That was Chan’s message. Seungcheol **clicked** the link:

⏪ **CLIP Day 1. Dining area**

[The day Mingyu and Wonwoo made puddings. While the others are eating puddings in the living room, the two of them bicker in the dining area]

 **Mingyu:** No, but really. Sei bellissima.

 **Wonwoo:** 何って言ったの？

 **Mingyu:** Perchè non capisci cosa sto dicendo. Sei bellisima.

 **Wonwoo** : よく分かりませんでした。

 **Mingyu:** Oh? Non capisci quello che ho detto?

 **Wonwoo:** *gets away* なんでも！

 **Mingyu:** *follows* Sei cosí bella. Quando ti vedo, mi sciolgo

 **Wonwoo:** *stares blankly* はいはい 

_Why are they bickering in different languages? It’s like whole different level of flirting OMG._ Seungcheol translated it for his friends in their group chat.

_\-- - - - -- -Group Chat: Cheolliebee message- - - - -- -_

I’ll translate everything, ok? Read. (But Mingyu is dumb for using the femme adjectives like bella ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ)

**[Translation]**

**Mingyu:** No, but really. You’re beautiful.

 **Wonwoo:** What are you saying?

 **Mingyu:** Because you don’t understand what I’m saying right now. You’re beautiful.

 **Wonwoo** : I don’t understand.

 **Mingyu:** Oh?You don’t understand what I said?

 **Wonwoo:** whatever!

 **Mingyu:** You’re so beautiful. When I look at you…I’m like melting.

 **Wonwoo:** yeah yeah (whatever)

_\-- - - - ---- - - - ---- - - - ---- - - - --_

They were really curious who’s the person behind the leaking? And actually, Seungcheol is torn if this is a good thing or not. Because this can’t really stop the hate comments towards Wonwoo, right?

But at least it’s out for everyone to see because these are the moments that didn’t make into the cuts for airing or wasn’t broadcasted.

.

.

.

_\-- - - - -- -Group Chat: Jeonghan's Baby message- - - - -- -_

**New update: Chaeyeon’s ‘I’m happy for them’ is trending!’** She was a guest in a popular show! That's what she said when she was asked about Mingyu and Wonwoo. She talked about ‘unrequited love’ and ALL THE LOVELY COMMENTS are being thrown at her again. Also, hate comments for Wonwoo are increasing.

 **New update** (same day) **:** Someone is taking over Mingyu’s social media accounts, am I right??? Mingyu’s likes and hearts are all about Chaeyeon now.

_\-- - - - ---- - - - ---- - - - ---- - - - --_

**RING RING RING.**

“Minghao.” Seungcheol answered the call. Of course, he told the others about what the PD said to him.

“I feel frustrated, hyung. Chan’s been keeping me updated with everything. And we can see the manipulation but we can’t do anything about it.”

“I feel like next week, there’s going to be a big change in Mingyu’s statements. It’s going to be all about Chaeyeon. But first, they should be training him to not cry every time they mention the name WONWOO,” Seungcheol soullessly laughs.

⬤⬤⬤

**Online broadcast.**

**[Online] Host:** Wonwoo, have you seen the circulating leaked HOMETEEN Video? Can you translate some parts to us if you can still remember?

 **Wonwoo:** Yeah, *laughs* but it’s nothing. We just don’t understand each other sometimes. We’re like that when we fight. Mingyu talks in Italian, I talk in Japanese.

 **Host:** *Laughs* very interesting. What is your motto in life now?

 **Wonwoo:** Not all the time, someone’s going to be there for you. So you need to learn how to be alone.

⬤⬤⬤

**Few days Later.**

**Radio DJ:** What’s going to be your motto in life after HOMETEEN?

 **Mingyu:** Life is like a horror movie, never look back!

 **Radio DJ:** *Laughs*

 **Mingyu:** Also, loosen up your relationship with people. If they want to stay, they will always stay beside you. If not, let them go.

 **Radio DJ:** Who is the most beautiful? Wonwoo, Seungkwan, or Chaeyeon?

 **Mingyu:** Chaeyeon. 

When the online radio was over…Seungcheol sighed through the phone where he’s talking with Soonyoung.

Crying was evident in Soonyoung’s voice but the male is staying positive through the tears,

“Seungcheol hyung, It’s okay. There’s still a radio live three days from now. And the guests will be Jun, and those two…Wonwoo and Mingyu.”

  
  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> **Leave a comment.**  
> 


	12. Peaches and Lemons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soonyoung's POV. Soonyoung's a changed man, clip of Mingyu's Letter, and a bunch of reasonable bashers.

**P A S T**

_You're giving me a million reasons to let you go  
You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show  
You're givin' me a million reasons _

(Play: [Million Reasons by Lady Gaga](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zskNP840ceM))

After Mingyu chose Chaeyeon as the most beautiful… Soonyoung is reminding himself of positive thoughts –

_‘I’m going to be loyal to you’ is better than ‘most beautiful.’_

He reminds himself that Mingyu’s actions in HOMETEEN are more reliable than whoever’s coaching him now, if that's the case.

Kwon Soonyoung was the second person who left the show. Because of the same ‘school’ reason as Chan. Soonyoung was sad because he was one of the popular members. And it was his second chance to fame after BooSeokSoon happened.

It was also his second chance to get Seokmin’s heart … maybe not ‘heart’ just ‘attention’? Because his crush allegedly hates hanging out with ‘boring’ kids. And the word ‘boring’ to that man means you’re not one of the celebrity kids and just plainly unpopular.

Well, if there’s something good that came out of his exit, Jun did told him that he can do something for Wonwoo. And that is to talk with – more like SHOUT at – the students to stop hating on Wonwoo.

Some of his admirers are backing up Wonwoo at this moment. He sighed. If only Mingyu can do that too.

Soonyoung was known as a technology pabbo, he’s not that good. But in a span of two days, he learned how to replace particular words with whatever word you want to replace it with.

He’s a changed man because of his best friend. And when he reads comments about Wonwoo, it’s all different now.

  1. [+885, -18] Wonwoo is too much. Whenever I see Wonwoo now, he’s really so lemon.
  2. [+854, -11] Wonwoo you son of a peach, I don’t like you peach because your personality looks obvious, not likeable.
  3. [+823, -14] I hate Wonwoo. He’s a pathetic lemon. Lemons should k*ll themselves
  4. [+777, -20] I edited this. Wonwoo is a lemon who’ll get to this point anyways. Look, this is a perfect material for the porn star to be, Wonwoo!
  5. [+776,-0] Wonwoo is a lemon that just wants attention.
  6. [+745, -7] Peach is still here, someone kick this lemon!



Soonyoung fixed it, peaches for bitches and lemons for gays! _Now, it looks fruity._

**IT STARTED.** The online broadcast that he’s been looking forward to, it was ON for almost 30 minutes and ended at that.

From start to end, Jun was sitting between Wonwoo and Mingyu. And in that span, Wonwoo and Mingyu did not look at each other. Or did Soonyoung miss it? He’s going to rewatch.

Mingyu’s posture is slouched, shoulders droopy. He’s only cracking a smile when there’s a question for him. Straightening his body when they need to focus on something, Soonyoung felt bad.

But then again, Jun and Wonwoo are having the time of their lives.

Soonyoung finally saw Wonwoo laugh with Jun. It kind of lifted off some heaviness in his heart.

In a computer screen, they read comments submitted from the listeners. They probably saw the hate comments. There were some silent moments but the DJ was quick to avoid turning it to an awkward one.

 **Radio Host:** ‘A song recommendation from Wonwoo please,’ that’s from **TigerLook-nim.**

 **Wonwoo:** I’m listening to English songs nowadays, like Million Reasons by Lady Gaga.

 **Radio Host:** Can you sing us a line from that song?

 **Wonwoo:** Uh, okay.

_I bow down to pray, I try to make the worst seem better._

Soonyoung didn’t have to search for the lyrics because it’s already in their group chat. Chan’s been keeping them updated. It was like looking through Wonwoo and some lines just creates a pang in his chest.

_And if you say something that you might even mean  
It's hard to even fathom which parts I should believe  
'Cause you're giving me a million reasons  
Give me a million reasons  
Givin' me a million reasons  
About a million reasons_

By this time, Chan already made a Group Chat titled **“FOR JUICY UPDATES ONLY [STRICTLY NO REPLY]”** **.**

Anyone who chats something not an update related, will pay for the group’s get together parties.

**Another update:** THERE’S ANOTHER LEAKED HOMETEEN VIDEO (one that wasn’t broadcasted but because the camera is ON 24/7, clips from that are being leaked _by someone unidentified_ )

Soonyoung **clicked** the link:

⏪ **CLIP Day 87. Dining area**

**Mingyu’s letter for Wonwoo, he told it for everyone to hear.**

**Mingyu** (To Wonwoo): I’m gonna miss you so much, I don’t know why. I just want that even if this show ends, we’re still gonna be close to each other. (Turns to Jun) I’m sorry Jun, if I’ve been jealous.

**Jun: *eyed him knowingly and nods***

**Mingyu** (To Wonwoo): I care you about so much…

 **Wonwoo** (corrects Mingyu) **:** Care about you.

 **Mingyu:** I care about you so much…I’m scared I’m gonna lose you, I don’t want that.*nudges Hansol* what was that again? Aishh.... (The hometeens reacted at that)

_**Aishite**_ ….You know what I mean.

**Hansol:** Bro, Say it. You only have two letters left.

 **Mingyu:** He gets it. *stares at Wonwoo*

_\-- - - - -- -End of clip- - - - -- -_

And then, there’s Yoon Jeonghan telling the others (at the group chat) about Wonwoo’s letter for Mingyu – Short and soft for Mingyu. And that Wonwoo and Mingyu hugged after. When the hug happened, Chaeyeon looked at Seungkwan, faking a smile. He also said Wonwoo hoped everyone won’t change after Hometeen is over. And yeah, He’ll send the video later.

Soongyoung protests and concludes, firstly, Jeonghan won’t be uploading it when he says it like that. Because secondly, Jeonghan said that he’s not the one who’s leaking these videos, so thirdly, someone’s been contacting Jeonghan from the SCE bois. Lastly, Seungcheol is totally sulking.

⬤⬤⬤

 **FEW DAYS LATER. In a coffee shop,** Soonyoung meets with Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Chan. There’s a new hot topic about Chaeyeon crying in her friend’s VLOG. Together, they’ll watch the Vlog.

How convenient, it’s raining. It’s setting the mood all solemn.

_\- - - -- -Vlog title: SEJEONG'S Heart-to-Heart Corner (w/ Hometeen's Chaeyeon)- - - - -- -_

**Chaeyeon:** I was really hurting. I thought it was me. Then, I really felt the change. I was just an option. I feel like I’m always not chosen by the guys I like. I’m questioning why ‘he’ didn’t like me.

 **Sejeong:** But you know what, that kind of thinking is kind of, I’m gonna tell you straight to the point, kind of selfish. Because you always expect the people you choose to choose you too. How about the people who choose you but you didn’t choose them? It’s the same thing, right? So you shouldn’t think like that’s mean of them. It’s not their fault. Of course, people have different…you know, different taste. Some people choose you and then you don’t choose them also, right? Or if you give love, you want to receive love back, but it’s not always like that.

 **Chaeyeon: *cries*** I always think that I’ll never like somebody else like I like Mingyu.

 **Sejeong:** You can’t control what other people will choose. But what you choose, you can control it. You don’t have to stress about something you can’t control.

_\-- - - - -- -End of vlog- - - - -- -_

**That was the whole advice cut.** Seungcheol sighed, “I thought we’re all done with the drama because it’s a year of letting shit go but apparently I was wrong?”

Chan agreed, “Where was her wisdom in that guesting she had. When she told the viewers, ‘I’m Happy for them?’ UHHHMMM NO YOU’RE NOT, that was all talkshit. You obviously want the he-who-must-not-be-named to choose you.”

“She still stuck. #IThoughtItWasMe,” Soonyoung laughed emptily, “She’s so INCONSISTENT. She can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about herself like that makes it okay. She needs to be better.”

“YAH THERE’S NO HOPE!” Jeonghan shouts for everyone in the coffee shop to hear. He’s fucking pressed.

Chan had to pull his hyung back to his seat. “I’m scared of him (Jeonghan),” he whispered to Soonyoung after.

“Didn’t she ever wonder why she was never chosen huh?” Jeonghan was ready to fight, “Maybe there’s nothing wrong with those boys, maybe she was the problem. Ah, let’s take out the ‘maybe’…SHE’S REALLY THE PROBLEM.” He was spilling his drink everywhere.

“Or there was really nothing to choose fr–” Soonyoung’s words were cut at that.

Jeonghan spills his coffee again, “RIGHT. She ain’t even an option back then, so why should she be chosen? Mingyu doesn’t even like her so why does she consider herself as an option? HELLO! Just because she likes him, he should feel the same way? WHAT A BRAT.” He emphasized the last words. “Learn to ‘love’ unconditionally.”

Chan claps, “Wow. This hyung knows ‘LOVE’ now?”

Soonyoung heartily laughs. It’s so funny for Jeonghan to talk about love like he knows it. And the latter had a mocking expression.

Seungcheol came back with slices of cakes and a refill of coffee for Jeonghan, “Sejeong did that ‘advice of a friend’ game better than anyone who really know what happened…I mean, someone we know, didn’t even bother to disagree, and just consented everything to happen.”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOO SEUNGKWAN DID THAT,” Chan says it with a bitter smile.

MINGHAO called shortly and gossiped, saying through the phone, “Reality check. If people around her are choosing everyone except her, THEN SHE’S THE PROBLEM. She’s always getting hurt about small things for crying out loud! She’s too much. TOO DIFFICULT TO BE AROUND WITH, I’M SUDDENLY HAPPY I’M IN CHINA. HA HA HA”

They had a brief catching up before they ended the call.

Soonyoung sighed, “That ‘I thought it was me’ still gets me thinking where the hell did she get that? She knows Mingyu likes Wonwoo. Didn’t she saw how Mingyu almost put a fence around Wonwoo whenever Jun gets near…and then she thought it was her?”

Chan tastes the coffee and finding that bitterness stinging his heart. “Her fans are always saying, ‘OMG Chaeyeon is so selfless, that’s why I really really like her’ But she’s only thinking about her hurt feelings? Doesn’t she realize that there are other people hurting because of what happened?”

Soonyoung hummed, “It’s always her who’s hurting, always her who’s being oppressed. How old is she again? She needs to grow up.”

“SHE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY THAT VICTIM CARD WELL,” Jeonghan starts, “She makes herself look pitiful and always point fingers.”

Soonyoung coughed, “What if Mingyu’s the saddest of all sad people right now? Hey, don’t look at me like that. I said ‘WHAT IF’. I just remembered when BooSeokSoon promoted in Inkigayo. Mingyu and Chaeyeon were the MCs, right? Backstage, Mingyu was so annoyed by the unnecessary tasks that Chaeyeon keeps on making him do. We were all laughing at Mingyu because he was the clumsiest that time. And that was after knowing that Wonwoo had a panic attack and Mingyu keeps on wanting to go home. But, Chaeyeon had all the reasons to stay late in the studio with Mingyu. I feel sad remembering all of that now.”

“I have so much ‘WHAT Ifs’ but scratch that…Mingyu just followed a Wonwoo hater in his social media account.” Chan updated while scrolling his phone.

⬤⬤⬤

The rain still glooms over Seoul for a few days now. Everyone who felt like listening to soothing music and turns their radio on in just the right tuning, probably caught this radio live –

 **Radio DJ:** So, you’re saying this person was your closest companion in HomeTeen? This person again, is…

 **Mingyu:** Chaeyeon.

 **Radio DJ:** A person with the username **TigerLook** just requested a song, Million Reasons by Lady Gaga. Enjoy listening.

_I bow down to pray  
I try to make the worst seem better  
Lord, show me the way  
To cut through all his worn out leather  
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away  
.  
.  
.  
But baby, I just need one good one to stay._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Who do you think is the one leaking the un-aired videos of Hometeen? The answer will be revealed on the next chapter. Stay tuned. Leave a comment.


	13. Sweet Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan's POV. Little Jeonghan's best swimming competitor is little Wonwoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! bcs it's connected and you'll know why. The '(x)' are video links so make sure you didn't miss any. There's two in there. (I edited the very end, just added the feedbacks. And added Jeonghan's history with Wonwoo wc is vital in this story. sorry)

**P A S T**

_My sandcastle  
Has met your wave  
It’s starting to break down  
What do I do? Help me  
Because of you, I’m losing control _

(Play: [Sweet Chaos by Day6](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKR0jaDb8Fg))

**When everyone probably heard just a part of the radio show, Jeonghan was able to listen from start to finish.**

Because even if he doesn’t binge watch Mingyu and Wonwoo’s moments in Hometeen like Chan does, Jeonghan would anticipate – something he won’t admit – for schedules of their ‘active’ friends. What he meant by ‘Active’ friends are those who finished the program after he left the show. Those guys are basically celebrities now, but Jeonghan doesn’t have regrets.

No regrets leaving the program earlier than the rest, because he had to.

Yoon Jeonghan didn’t leave to focus on his studies like the ones before him. After winning the challenge that week, he was personally asked by the ESTEEM CEO to sign a contract with them and join the modelling agency. But the catch was, he will be rebranding himself, and a reality show is not going well with the image they wanted to create.

To pull off unique clothes, to walk the run way, and to leave a mark in that fashion – it’s Jeonghan's dream, ever since he was young, that he can leave everything behind for this once in a lifetime chance.

_\- - - - -- -Radio broadcast- - - -- -_

**Radio DJ:** Cat or Dog?

 **Mingyu:** Dog. *talks about his pet for a while*

 **Radio DJ:** Next, Wonwoo or Chaeyeon.

 **Mingyu:** Chaeyeon.

 **Radio DJ:** *waits for a reason* Really?

 **Mingyu:** We’re the closest inside.

 **Radio DJ:** So, you’re saying this person was your closest companion in HomeTeen? This person again, is…

 **Mingyu:** Chaeyeon.

_\-- - - - -- - - - -- -- - - - -- - -_

The radio show ended with Jeonghan soullessly laughing like he means it but his eyes are burning and he wants to cry as much as the clouds, because conveniently, it’s raining.

“Wahhh your closest companion is Chaeyeon? Fuck. We are all in this chaos right now because something as simple as chips, you can’t even hand over to her. Get your script together.”

He’s all frustrated and is speaking to no one in his room.

He decided to talk to Seungcheol on the phone to let out his turmoil of feelings, “Yah. Mingyu can choose HER all he wants. Even if it’s as many times as a pokemon knows, I don’t care. But don’t fucking make us stupid because FYI we were there witnessing everything.”

Seungcheol hums and let’s Jeonghan rant his feelings out.

“Our eyes weren’t close the whole time. We know the person that he glues himself with. We know the person that he always looks for. And that is not Chaeyeon.” Jeonghan exhaled sharply.

Seungcheol waited for a moment and sighed, “Right. Why can’t Mingyu just choose without denying the fact that he was closer to Wonwoo.”

“I hate his lying ass,” Jeonghan hissed.

**That night** , Jeonghan couldn’t sleep. And he loves to sleep, it sucks.

He can still remember –

_Chaeyeon easily chose Seungkwan over you, Mingyu,_

_And the second time, she chose someone over you during your MC days, when she chose Doyoung. ([ x ](https://twitter.com/i/status/1257056024395083777) ) _

But then we have Wonwoo…

Memories rewinds in Jeonghan’s mind like it was just yesterday. Because 3AM feelings are about memories that hunts you deep.

**THAT TIME [[FLASHBACK](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1373536/7/calm-before-the-storm)] ** Jeonghan and Jisoo needed to make sure that Wonwoo stays inside the room, so everyone, like ninjas, can gather to the rooftop. It is the place where the planned out ‘wedding’-like ceremony (for Wonwoo and Mingyu) will be held.

“We have to ask you some questions! Do you like me more or Mingyu?” Jeonghan asked.

Both Jisoo and Wonwoo were shocked.

“What? I don’t really have to choose, right?” Wonwoo turned to Jisoo but the latter just shrugged.

Wonwoo’s facial expression must’ve been like taking his entrance exam but then again, Jeonghan was a year older so he never got the chance to see Wonwoo taking exams. Also, Wonwoo aced his exam so this is easy. Jeonghan was ready to smile like a champion but…

**“Mingyu.”**

…Jeonghan ended up pouting at Wonwoo’s choice.

“YAHHHHH!” Jeonghan had to yell it.

Jeonghan’s arm covered his face, wanting to stop the memories. Wonwoo chose Mingyu over Jeonghan. He’s not sure if he’s angry or sad. But he’s sure he’ll have nightmares.

⬤⬤⬤

**THE NEXT DAY**

**At this time, Jeonghan is talking on the phone.** He’s talking with someone from his ‘active’ friends, _Hong Jisoo_.

“By any chance, are you with Wonwoo? I think I heard his laugh,” Jeonghan said. His face brightens up when Jisoo hummed a ‘yes’. “Can I talk to him?”

“You know we’re not allowed to talk to anyone,” Jisoo says it in a whispered voice. “There are managers around.”

Jeonghan lets out a whine, “C’mon! Tell him the pizza guy will ask him about pizzas. GO, please?”

“Okay.”

He heard chatters in the background, talking about something he can’t comprehend. Then the familiar voice registered in a careful, “Hello.”

“WONWOOYAH! It’s me Jeonghan. I really want to see you! You’re not answering to my messages and okay I’ll stop rambling.” He sighed, there’s silence in the other line. He suddenly remembered what’s been bugging him for a while.

Mingyu said that Wonwoo ‘broke the wall’ and Jeonghan had to ask, “Wonwoo, is there a wall in your heart now?”

“Yeah, it’s so HIGH,” Wonwoo chuckled.

(In the background, “It’s probably the building,” Jisoo said to someone.)

“Alright. You take care.” Jeonghan said.

Now, Jisoo is back on the line saying, “Uhmmm…pineapple?”

And Jeonghan giggles. Then he cleared his voice before telling Jisoo what he asked Wonwoo.

Jisoo laughs and agrees, “Yeah, like Great Wall of China.”

“Are you going to deliver the pizza today?” Jeonghan asked meaningfully. He can visualize the smile on Jisoo’s lips right now.

Jisoo’s gentle voice hints playfulness, “Yes, the classic ham and cheese. We can never go wrong with that.”

“Is that pizza going to make you realize that others are fake?” Jeonghan’s heart warms up to the sound of Jisoo’s laugh. “Alright, pineapple! I’m counting on you.”

**And it didn’t take long for the ‘classic ham and cheese’ to start trending**. Jisoo just delivered the new leaked clips of HomeTeen. It was several clips today, the most number of leaked videos in one day.

Jeonghan scanned the links with its titles. And he’s so proud of Jisoo for coming up with this.

[A/N: Click on the available links c; ]

⏪ **CLIP Day 8. Mingyu’s ‘Where is Wonwoo?’**

⏪ **CLIP Day 24. Mingyu’s ‘Is Wonwoo there?’**

⏪ **CLIP Day 36.[Play fights in the Living room ](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1373536/15/classic-ham-and-cheese) **

⏪ **CLIP Day 64.[Sweet Living Room](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1373536/15/classic-ham-and-cheese) **

⏪ **CLIP Day 84.[Flirt fights in the Living room ](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1373536/15/classic-ham-and-cheese) **

⬤⬤⬤

 **2 DAYS LATER.** **The Heart Bazaar happened.**

Joshua, Mingyu and Chaeyeon were invited. There were rumours that it was supposed to be just Chaeyeon. But everyone sees her as the selfless person that she is, and said she invited Mingyu. And it was Mingyu who invited Joshua to tag along. Well, no one confirmed this story – it might just be a made up story.

Because everyone is so against the idea that Mingyu is a lemon. Yeah, Jeonghan also tweaked his settings to Peaches (Bitches) and Lemons (Gays). Soonyoung did it for him.

  
([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIJ39XrY_F0))

.

.

.

Jeonghan received an email: **“Petition For Wonwoo To Say Sorry To Chaeyeon”** It said it has **currently 2,400 signatures.** There’sa brief description why and a green button link at the bottom. His eyes turned red in anger if it’s even humanely possible. “Who the fuck started this?” He said the words that he types on his phone.

It was from the vice president of ESTEEM,

 **Lee Hi** :

Who the fuck started this?

Language, Yoon. I looked up to it.

They said it’s Im Nayoung.

Because you told me the reason

that you’re ‘out of it’ lately,

And you’re right,

this is out of proportion.

When everything’s okay,

You can come back to work.

Be well, Yoon.

Thank you.

**Jeonghan takes a bus ride to SCE building.**

He’s taking his luck, confidently walking inside like the model that he is, like he didn’t ran to the bus stop a while ago. He flashes a charming smile to the guard who just stared a bit to admire.

_Okay, now what?_

Maybe, he should’ve gone to the event knowing that it’s Nayoung… When he was about to head back to the entrance, his eyes widened from sighting the girl he’s looking for.

She’s in a ponytail, wearing a kind smile and is also heading out. Jeonghan saw the change in her expression when she spotted him.

“Yah, I didn’t think you’d stoop that low. Your issues aren’t even real to even put up a ‘petition’.” Jeonghan smirked at the expression on Nayoung’s face at the last word, “To think you’re Mingyu’s family friend? Scratch that, you’re just someone who acts like one. You’re just one of Kim Mingyu’s fans after Hometeen ended.” _only, she’s from a rich background and has connections._ That’s why a fan like her can interact with him. “To think that you’re always around him, then you do this crazy shit. What an embarrassment.”

She frowns, “I will report this to Mingyu!”

“I have zero fucks to give.” Jeonghan was about to charge at her, but his hands were stopped midway by Jun, who’s now hugging him from behind, “Jun. Let go of me.’’

“No,” Jun said but his eyes tell them that he also wants to charge at the girl. “I mean, Nayoung is kind. She actually told Wonwoo that Wonwoo is ACTING LIKE A FAMOUS STAR after Wonwoo blocked her in his social media accounts.” The words were drawn out calmly.

Nayoung steps forward, “Stop.”

Jeonghan felt Jun’s grip on him loosened. “What are you talking about?” He asked, now in between Jun and Nayoung.

“I don’t know. Wonwoo gave her a chance. She said sorry before, about cropping Wonwoo in her Hometeen updates. He accepted her apology BEFORE.”

“URGH!!!” Nayoung stomps, “Stop talking ab-about that.”

Jun rolled his eyes and continued, “I can say whatever I want. You managed to shamelessly shower some barf emoji and hate reactions at every article with Wonwoo on it. Then you go asking around why he blocked you? Spreading that he acts like a famous star now?”

“ **AH WAAAEEEEEEE~** ” Jeonghan didn’t even touch her but she crouched on the ground.

Jeonghan looks down, “A person doesn’t have to be a ‘famous star’ to know for himself that he doesn’t deserve your lack of respect.”

A pretty lady helped Nayoung up, “别再霸凌她了! (Stop bullying her!)”

Jun pulled Jeonghan to the side, “This is not bullying, Kyulkyung. I just exposed her for what she really is.”

“Then stop this war,” Kyulkyung said.

“Will there be a war if your friend knows the word ‘respect’?” Jun says it with hand gestures, “Let’s say ‘respect is earned not given,’ What did Wonwoo ever did to you for you to disrespect him?”

“Because Wonwoo is the one Mingyu likes and not the one person they idolize?” Jeonghan quips.

Jun clicked his tongue, “That’s too shallow, Nayoung. If only Wonwoo directed an action towards you, but he never did.”

“And then, this is not just about that barf emoji. This is also about the petition,” Jeonghan said, exhausted.

Jun and Kyulkyung looked confused.

Jeonghan continued, “Your friend here started a petition for Wonwoo to say sorry to Chaeyeon.”

Kyulkyung turned to Nayoung, “You did?” The latter nods and she slapped Nayoung’s arm at that, “quickly, erase that. Right now!”

Jeonghan and Jun looked at each other.

Nayoung dejectedly takes out her phone and starts typing. Kyulkyung takes it from her, shock painting her expression, “I’m typing it right. EVERYONE, THERE’S NO PETITION, STOP THIS WAR.” Kyulkyung said as she typed the words, “SENT. Now erase that shit.”

Nayoung sighed and did it in front of everyone, “I took it down.” She proves it by letting the others see the words ‘petition deleted’. “But the war is still not over.”

Nayoung walked away with Kyulkyung following her out of the building.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**After a while,** Jeonghan and Jun are at the Café inside the SCE building. Both of them are sipping iced Americano.

Jeonghan huffs, “Those are the people that are surrounding Mingyu?”

Jun holds a hand in the air, palms up, in a gesture of ‘I don’t know’, clearing his voice, “Mingyu is complicated. He’s been…busy. That time when we had that radio uhh thing...that JUN-WONWOO-AND-MINGYU-radio-thing. Mingyu is pulled out right after it ended. Always, just like that, he disappears. While all of us are always together, Mingyu on the other hand has a different ‘team’ with him. So, we never really uhh got to talk about everything that’s happening.”

Jeonghan shakes his head and asks, “What plans do you think Mingyu has?”

Jun strokes an imaginary beard, “Hmmm…what if Mingyu is doing this so the bashers would stop hating on Wonwoo?”

“You want me to believe that? WAHHH the bashers are stabbing Wonwoo with hurtful words EVEN MORE WHEN THAT MINGYU DROPPED HIM LIKE A HOT POTATO…that easily. The best thing he could have done was defend him from those people. Mingyu can defend him even as a friend, right???”

Jun looks down, “I don’t really read comments about us.”

Jeonghan glanced at the other. He knows Jun likes to stay positive even if that means avoiding comment sections, even if that also means not having to see positive comments about himself.

Jun continued, “Because, I’ve read some nasty ones about Wonwoo, I just stopped reading comments after that. What does it say now?”

“They say Mingyu is just confused because he’s still a teenager,” Jeonghan laughs to cheer his friend and pats his back, “You just have to know that for now.”

Jun smiled, “But Mingyu is really complicated. We know him, Jeonghan. He’s just so unexpected.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jeonghan sighed, exhausted. There was silence after that. Both of them in deep thoughts. Jeonghan turned to Jun, “What did Wonwoo say about Mingyu’s actions? I mean, back when we were doing HomeTeen…Wonwoo had always been realistic. He hopes no one changes after the show but he constantly reminds everyone that PEOPLE CHANGE.”

“Like I said, we never got a proper chat with Mingyu because he’s always being pulled out from the group. Mingyu is busy. But I had a brief serious talk with Wonwoo once. I told him, Mingyu needs to be saved.” Jun recalled, “Then, Wonwoo said...Maybe he’s his own victim?”

“AHHH, Wonwoo my child, even if it hurts already…you’re still giving him the benefit of the doubt.” Jeonghan smiles but his heart is kind of breaking slowly, “And there he goes again…he who remains ‘loving’ in a world that is often so unkind.”

Jun stayed silent.

Jun finally felt the weight of the talk that he had with Wonwoo and he can only agree with Jeonghan. “Also, when I say Mingyu is complicated, Wonwoo would often combat it – he would say Mingyu is a…Sweet Chaos.”

⬤⬤⬤

 **Another normal day.** It isn’t a normal day if Mingyu doesn’t mention the name Chaeyeon.

Jeonghan knows about the confirmed schedule, a ‘Happy Together’ guesting for ONLY Mingyu and Chaeyeon. He felt like that event, Heart Bazaar with Jisoo, was only a preparation for this day – the day that everyone’s looking forward to. A broadcast with just Mingyu and Chaeyeon.

**‘She’s important’** Mingyu’s words that circulate the internet world.

And Jeonghan can only snort. _Yeah, of course your ‘sister’ is important._

Jeonghan had watched the aired unrequited fuckery episodes of HomeTeen. Mingyu said Chaeyeon is like his sister, so there you go. Whatever you say, Mingyu, you can’t deny the fact that Chaeyeon is not your type. You’re just making a fool out of yourself, really.

But the feedbacks about them say otherwise,

  1. [+2,999, -159] Chaeyeon is so lovable; you can’t blame some guys if they have feelings for her. So I am not surprised if Mingyu has a change of heart after Hometeen ended.
  2. [+2,586, -130] Mingyu may have felt something for Wonwoo but it’s not as deep as we thought it was
  3. [+2,069, -117] Let’s accept the fact that Chaeyeon is better than Wonwoo in many aspects
  4. [+2,029, -138] We should give chance to Mingyu to prove himself to Chaeyeon.



**(…)**

Jeonghan dramatically clutched at his chest, these chae-tards see Mingyu in a different light now?

_WAHHHH Must be nice. You’re getting all the attention now, Kim Mingyu._

Taking a deep breath, Jeonghan's eyes flicker a glimmer of sadness when he looks back at his relationship with Wonwoo.

 **They knew each other way back in childhood because of swimming tournaments.** He was competitive and so was Wonwoo. The little Jeonghan would try his best to win championship over his best swimming competitor, little Wonwoo.

But little Wonwoo always wins the gold medal –

Until Wonwoo’s mother got an illness that almost forbids her to watch their tournaments. ‘Almost’ because when she does attend, that’s when little Jeonghan is reminded that little Wonwoo is just out of focus.

And even if he’s just a kid, Jeonghan can’t enjoy the cheers of being a champion, can’t enjoy his gold medals…knowing that he’s only winning over Wonwoo because the latter’s mother was sick, and it’s no fun. _It’s sad_.

The last time they competed, little Wonwoo almost drowned.

Jeonghan can still remember how Wonwoo looked like he just… _forgot how to swim_. After that, Wonwoo just stopped swimming. And the next day, Jeonghan heard about Wonwoo going abroad because his Mother needed better medical attention.

**SO WHEN WONWOO RETURNED TO KOREA** to continue his studies here, briefly catching up - it was bound to happen, they instantly ended up in the same circle of friends. He also noted that Wonwoo had anxieties of swimming after he lost his mother. That’s why Jeonghan takes care of him the best he can. That’s why Jeonghan is very protective of him.

_It’s okay if it’s me who’s hurting if it means Wonwoo is fine. And then there’s Kim Mingyu, who’s supposed to be helping me but it looks like Mingyu’s the one hurting Wonwoo now. Fuck._

.

.

.

Jeonghan's day isn’t really going well.

**BUT THEN,**

Jeonghan received an email from **Seokmin** : ‘ **PARTY AT MY HOUSE**!’

It’s just one week from now and all of them are invited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****  
> Author's Note  
>  Thank you for reading! The one leaking the videos is none other than **Jisoo**!  I'm sorry for taking so long to meet Wonwoo and Mingyu (after hometeen ended) but it's coming real soon! pls bear with me. Hope you enjoyed the chapters.  
>  **I really appreciate feedbacks and upvotes! xoxo.**


	14. Classic ham and cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaked clips.

**CHAPTER 14**

**P A S T**

_The compass in me  
Is spinning like crazy  
But once I see your smile  
Everything becomes OK  
It’s a  
.  
.  
.  
Sweet chaos _

(Play: [Sweet Chaos by Day6](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKR0jaDb8Fg))

⏪ **CLIP Day 36. Play fights in the Living room:**

 **Mingyu:** * lies down on the sofa with his head resting on Wonwoo’s lap*

 **Wonwoo:** *whines* I want to sleep, go away.

 **Mingyu:** *laughs* No, stay there.

 **Wonwoo:** *flapping his feet to annoy Mingyu*

 **Mingyu:** Yah! *stretches his arms out, pressing his weight on Wonwoo’s thighs* Stay.

 **Wonwoo:** *sighs and gives up* I’m sleepy. *fingers lazily tangle on Mingyu’s hair*

 **Mingyu:** *stands up*

 **Wonwoo:** いぇい！ (YAY) *flops his body down, face flat on the sofa* *stretches limbs* *sleeps*

 **Mingyu:** *comes back* Jeonunu! Can you move?

 **Wonwoo:** *lazily whines*

 **Mingyu:** Move please? Okay, whatever. *roughly throws jacket to Wonwoo* *walks away*

 **Wonwoo:** **…**

 **Mingyu:** *gets a big pillow from the other chair* *goes back to Wonwoo* Can you move, please? *puts the pillow on Wonwoo’s back* Jeonunu!

 **Wonwoo:** **…**

 **Mingyu:** *tries to seat at the corner and pushes Wonwoo*

 **Wonwoo:** *muffles a protest and moves* *half his body hangs at the edge of the sofa*

 **Mingyu:** Yah, you’re going to fall! *grabs Wonwoo‘s sweater from the back and pulls him up like a cat*

 **Wonwoo:** *lets out a struggling sound*

 **Mingyu:** *pulls Wonwoo until his face is on the big pillow on Mingyu’s lap* Okay, sleep.

 **Wonwoo:** *climbs higher into the softness and comfortably sleeps*

 **Mingyu:** *gets his jacket, briefly shakes it in the air before placing it at the dip of Wonwoo’s lower back, making it Wonwoo’s blanket.* *Stays silent and lets Wonwoo sleep*

⬤⬤⬤

⏪ **CLIP Day 64. Sweet Living Room**

 **Wonwoo: *** lying on the sofa with his head resting on Mingyu’s lap ****** laughs *****

 **Mingyu:** Nowe’lldwelvingswtong *repeats* When we (Inkigayo) MCs are told that we should hurry up so the show won’t overtime. I get really shocked with the words that come out of my mouth.

 **Wonwoo:** *laughs* but it’s okay you’re a great MC.

 **Mingyu:** Yeah, i know. I’m a great MC.

 **Wonwoo:** *smiles amused*

 **Seungkwan** (shouting from the kitchen): MINGYUUUUU! You have to start cooking dinner!!! Yaaaaaaah kim mingyu.

 **[** From the kitchen, the camera pans to Hansol walking to the living room **]**

 **Mingyu:** *caressing Wonwoo’s hair*

 **Hansol:** Mingyu?

 **Mingyu:** *about to stand *

 **Wonwoo: *** clings to Mingyu’s arm and nuzzles to his stomach*

 **Mingyu:** *shocked* Umm. 30 minutes more.

 **Hansol:** *looks at the two and nods knowingly* Yeah, not yet.

 **[** The camera pans to Hansol walking back to the kitchen]

⬤⬤⬤

⏪ **CLIP Day 84. Flirt fights in the Living room**

 **Mingyu:** *buries his face on the pillow on Wonwoo’s lap* *limbs stretched out to occupy the space*

 **Wonwoo:** *gently pets Mingyu’s head* *hand brushing on soft locks stops* Seungkwan! HAHAHAHA stop.

 **Mingyu:** *perks head to look at Seungkwan and giggles*

 **Seungkwan** (lying on the other sofa): *caresses the pillow, copying the way Wonwoo does it with Mingyu) [Hansol is sitting and sleeping at the edge of the sofa where Seungkwan lies. It’s just the four of them at the living room]

 **Wonwoo:** Go away, Mingyu *he pushed at the man*

 **Mingyu:** *shakes his head, still looking at Seungkwan*

 **Wonwoo:** *places his arm on top of Mingyu, curving at the man’s neck*

 **Seungkwan:** *copies Wonwoo and hugs the pillow*

 **Wonwoo:** *snorts*

 **Seungkwan:** *laughs* I’m going to sleep.

 **Mingyu:** *moves his body around to face Wonwoo* *looks up with a smile* Can you see this? *scratches forehead* is this sunburn or?

 **Wonwoo:** *leans down and runs a finger on Mingyu’s forehead* I don’t know, sunburn?

 **Mingyu:** Why can’t you look at my eyes?

 **Wonwoo:** Watashi wa anatano mewo mirukotogadekimasen. (I can’t look at your eyes)

 **Mingyu:** Are you shy? *smiles like a champion* YEAH, ONE POINT FOR MINGYU.

 **Wonwoo:** *playfully smacks Mingyu’s head away from him* Shut up. Go away.

 **Mingyu:** Okay, I won’t look at your eyes.

 **Wonwoo:** *relaxes and thumbs at Mingyu’s forehead*

 **Mingyu:** *still stares*

 **Wonwoo:** Aye. *leans away*

 **Mingyu:** *Grabs Wonwoo’s wrist* Okay, okay. Wow. I’ll close my eyes.


	15. Not Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisoo's POV. Full cut of Hansol's Advice. And Seungkwan cries for a different reason.

**CHAPTER 15**

**P A S T**

_What’s wrong? Please tell me  
Every time you become cold, I get worried  
I’m afraid you might leave, that you’ll end it.  
That our love is finished... _

(Play: [Not Fine by Day6](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IT_jdPb5th4))

Hong Jisoo has always been home-schooled. Seasons passed by with him learning everything from home, or more like from the comfort of their owned café.

Many preferred it, and he did too, especially when he was introduced to Kim Mingyu at a young age. Their parents are in the same circle of friends, the said group gathering in their café once in a while. It was like mapped that their children too would become in the same clique.

Back when they were kids, a sobbing little Mingyu would come to the café. And little Jisoo would know why. Because Mingyu’s friends once again told him or everyone that they’re only friends because Mingyu’s mom is famous. Jisoo would tell him that he can punch those kids with his little fists but he can’t because he’s home-schooled and Mingyu cries even more.

Then, those problems died down when Mingyu went abroad at age ten (10) because the Kims had to open a restaurant in Italy. It was a success for the Kims to establish their name in the foreign land, and Mingyu at the age of fourteen (14) comes back to Seoul.

And to Jisoo’s pleasant surprise, Mingyu was able to find good friends. The man heartily introduced him to Seokmin, Jihoon, Hansol and Seungkwan. And Jisoo’s finally relieved. This bunch is not using Mingyu. And they’re funny too.

But a new problem arises.

A crying Mingyu comes to the café. And Jisoo would know why. Because Mingyu is dating someone who once again told him or everyone that she or he is only _“looking to a part of Mingyu, Mingyu’s external part”_ – those were Mingyu’s words not his. He would tell him that it’s okay since everyone easily falls for him anyways, and Mingyu cries even more. He’s screwing up this advice thing, isn’t he?

Jisoo then told Mingyu that his views of home schooling changed because of Mingyu. From the moment Mingyu offered to provide sweet treats to their café, from cakes to glazed biscuits, and knowing it’s from the _cooking club_. Jisoo started thinking about the school clubs he would be joining if he too was in a regular school. And “What’s your point?” Mingyu asked.

He told him that Mingyu likes to help people, not that it’s bad, but Mingyu just can’t say ‘NO’ and now that’s bad, right? Like everyone misunderstood his intentions like that.

Jisoo doesn’t say more and now Mingyu is confused. He’s really screwing this advice thing, isn’t he? _‘Atleast, he’s not crying anymore.’_ Jisoo thought.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**They are still buddies, from a mess of a reality show down to this Heart Bazaar event.**

It was a charity campaign, to help underprivileged children. Jisoo, Mingyu and Chaeyeon were helping sell various items. People gather around their area where they act as endorsers for items, from coffee packs to large sized shirts. ([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei5dkT6fVGU))

Amidst the ruffling and shuffling mess of the crowd noise, a guy was able to ask, “Who is Wonwoo to Mingyu?”

“Friends,” Mingyu answered.

Jisoo thought Mingyu looked like a different person. Like the smile that curved the latter’s lips, Jisoo noted it was too awkward and forced. He could only imagine if Mingyu elaborated ‘why’ FRIENDS – like a pretend adult who knows what he’s saying but really don’t – fortunately, Mingyu didn’t say more.

Jisoo didn’t miss the way Chaeyeon looked at Jisoo, a little mock in her expressions with a tiny hint of curiosity.

And like that, Jisoo was back to when he and Chaeyeon, the two of them, watched Mingyu and Wonwoo from a far space of the comfort of the house they once felt home.

He remembered the terms he used to describe them to the girl. Jisoo did once tell her that the two looked like _‘boyfriends’_. Then that second time, when they again felt the need to observe, he used the term _‘husbands’_.

BUT now, Chaeyeon’s eyes are searching for his to silently tell him ‘I told you so’ and Jisoo can only look down a bit embarrassed. _Friends, huh?_

The event went on.

_Your smiles are so awkward Mingyu, I’m like ‘Mingyu don’t smile. Mingyu don’t smile.’_

Jisoo is proud at _the reference_ he had in mind.

**When the event ended** , Jisoo finally saw some spark of realness in Mingyu’s eyes when the latter asked him, “Are you okay?” And Jisoo sighed.

Even if Jisoo was known to be quiet, Mingyu still knows him, can still see through him. Before he can verbally reply to that, Chaeyeon was already calling Mingyu. Because the two still had a dinner party to attend to and this time, Jisoo is not included.

He settles a nod to Mingyu’s way so the latter can go wherever.

Mingyu’s team, the people who followed the tall boy all day, had the joyous expressions Jisoo had ever seen them on. Their cheers about Wonwoo and Mingyu being ‘just friends’ are not subtle, just plain noisy and ignorant. It irks him, like he wanted to help quicken their pace by kicking them out of his sight. Oh god his gentleman image is being tested; he needs to hold himself together.

Jisoo knows Mingyu for the longest time than anyone in Hometeen does. It pains him that it came to a point where he can’t recognize him; that a part of him hates the thoughts that linger at the back of his head.

_When you cry because you feel like they think of you only as someone who’s handsome then you went out to prove you are actually only that._

⬤⬤⬤

**The next time he sees Mingyu, they were in the broadcasting company.**

A dashingly handsome guy enters the room, dressed in a tuxedo. Jisoo noted the color in teal gray – as gray as the atmosphere – because this is the room for Jisoo’s team. But it’s just not his team, so that means…Wonwoo is also here.

Jisoo perks, catching the stutter on Mingyu’s walk as the latter kind of spots Wonwoo sitting across the room. Wonwoo who continues to scan his phone like the gushes thrown at Mingyu’s entrance was nothing to him. Wonwoo who gets a book from his bag, talk about cats with Jun and does everything except look at Mingyu’s direction. Jisoo sighed.

“What’s up, bro?” Hansol gave his bro a bro-hug.

“I’m guesting on ‘Happy Together’ with Chaeyeon,” Mingyu said.

Hansol’s mouth turns ‘o’, nodding his head with an obvious ‘this is trouble’ distorting his expressions.

Jisoo saw how Mingyu’s words made Wonwoo turn his head at Mingyu’s way. It was an act that Mingyu caught on easily. Jisoo was sure he saw Mingyu shift in his place.

And the way Mingyu did it… _certainly it’s not an easy thing to do, to stand in front of Wonwoo._

Jisoo felt like _it’s an episode of a thriller, even if it’s going well –  
If something is out of place, it starts right away…  
The look in their eyes that’s becoming cold  
The atmosphere that’s becoming heavier,  
And Wonwoo with no signs of caving into a blank canvass,  
Sits there, seemingly holding his breath._

And then Jun cuts in. Getting Wonwoo’s attention like it was a must. And both of them indulge in something that caused Wonwoo to laugh.

Jisoo nudged Mingyu, “Hey, are you alright?”

Mingyu replied a bright smile at that.

And it wasn’t long until Mingyu was called out by his team. Hansol following suit to attend some fashion event.

Jisoo peacefully joined Jun and Wonwoo. Just the three of them, and some staffs that goes in and out of their shared _Artists’ Room_. He noticed the list of questions in Jun’s hand. Recognizing it as their ‘practice questions’ because most questions thrown at them brings nothing but unnecessary attention to their names so they need to ‘learn’ how to dodge those bullets.

“Pick one, Jisoo” Jun gave him the piece of paper.

Jisoo turned to Wonwoo, “What will you do if the Mingyu you knew inside is different to the Mingyu here outside (after hometeen)?”

Wonwoo tried to laugh it off but Jisoo was seriously expectant that he had to answer, “I mean, just like this. I’ll be distant.”

Jun shakes his arms, “That’s not how you’d answer an interviewer. You just say, maybe I would be distant just a tiny bit.”

Wonwoo blankly stared, “that’s what I said.”

“Put some emotions. Giggle like this hihihi.” Jun shuts his mouth when Wonwoo throws the mat at him. Jun can’t hold his words though, “But that’s fine. Mingyu can’t just do nothing and expect that things won’t change. I will protect you instead.”

Jisoo hums to agree, “You can protect Wonwoo without worrying about what other people will say.” The words were so new to him, he still can’t get used to this. Jisoo had always been the im-going-down-with-minwon-ship-till-death-do-us-part kind of friend, but Kim Mingyu is making it hard.

Jun huffs, “Yeah, Mingyu’s too busy pleasing them.”

“It’s okay.” Wonwoo stands up with a smile, “Feelings change.”

Jisoo exchanged glances with Jun. Wonwoo always says that, ‘People change’ and ‘Feelings change’ But it hits them deep right now. _Kim Mingyu that idiot. Wonwoo received so much hate, even death threats, from people because of you, your confessions and all the times you’ve kept him guarded… and now what? That’s it?_

“I’m sleepy, guys. Wake me up when Seungkwan arrives. I don’t think he knows that **I dropped a guesting for him**.” Wonwoo said and grabbed the mat.

⬤⬤⬤

A red usb stuck on his laptop and Jisoo scrolls to a familiar folder.

 **It’s done.** Another video has been uploaded.

These footages from HomeTeen, Jisoo got it with no sweat. It’s from a family friend who worked with the production team.

What he uploaded this time is from that drama, the futile drama about chips that no one asked for. Oh, right, Chaeyeon asked for it.

It’s a video divided into two. The full cut of the conversation that night. Hansol’s advice to the group and so much more that can’t fit into just one video. Jisoo was consoling Mingyu that time so he wasn’t on this one.

_\- - - - -- -▶Day 73/ THAT NIGHT at the Herbal garden part 1- - - -- -_

They are still talking about the ‘issue’. The herbal garden was designed with hanging lights for chill nights like these. But the tension is thick in the summer night air where Chaeyeon, Seungkwan, Seokmin, Hansol, and Wonwoo are talking.

 **Chaeyeon:** Mingyu and I, we are no longer close.

 **Hansol:** Why do you say?

 **Chaeyeon:** He treats me differently.

 **Seungkwan:** I thought I was the only one who felt that. Before, Mingyu hugs me but now, when I say hug me, kiss me, he’s like ‘No, Wonwoo is there’. And I’m like, ‘Ah, okay.’ And then to her *points at Chaeyeon* she said, ‘Mingyu can you reach the…’ and Mingyu said, ‘I just only do that for one’ And then, I said…

 **Hansol:** Seungkwan…(tried to cut in)

 **Seungkwan:** Waiiiit. And then, I said Hug me and then Mingyu, he said ***lips pouts to point at Wonwoo, who’s also there listening*** Mingyu is like that! Before we’ve been *hug gestures* but now… ***looks at Wonwoo***

**Wonwoo:** …

**Seungkwan:** And I just think, ‘Ah, it hurts’. I thought it was just me but perfect, Chaeyeon, she opened up about what she felt. And hers is MORE SERIOUS ACTUALLY.

**Wonwoo:** …?

**Seungkwan:** It’s not just that, I mean there’s moooooore, for me too.

**Hansol:** I’m usually the last one to notice these things anyway. I see this now; it’s purely in difference of upbringing? Maybe exposure to different cultures? Since Mingyu did spend some time in Italy at age 10-13? I kind of feel the same, but I’m more exposed since my mum is a foreigner. What I’m saying is I do the same thing, it’s like that.

Taking care of people they’re closed to outside of their family. It’s more in Mingyu’s nature than me though. And that’s how I see it.

Look, like for example, when I’m with my girl friends – friends that are girls – and we’re all in a group, I’m like…what you’ve got, you (to Chaeyeon) and Mingyu in the beginning. I’m like hugging them, things like that, always playful…But when I started liking someone, I stopped and they…and it’s fine because for them, they understood why.

The reason is also for Mingyu, the same reason. The reason he stopped is because ***looks at Wonwoo*** because it’s weird if you’re doing it to many girls or boys.

**Seungkwan:** But the thing is that, he said it.

 **Hansol:** No, he won’t say it. I don’t say as well, it if it’s me.

 **Seungkwan:** No, not to you…

 **Wonwoo:** Seungkwan-

 **Seungkwan:** *swating the air at Wonwoo to cut his words* Yeah, that hurt us.

 **Chaeyeon:** You (to Hansol) do it, but you keep it to yourself.

 **Seungkwan:** You keep it to yourself. But Mingyu says it in our face…nevermind…he doesn’t care about us.

 **Hansol:** NO.

 **Wonwoo:** Wrong.

 **Hansol:** That’s where you guys are completely wrong. You guys said to him, is it true you guys said to him that he doesn’t care about you?

 **Wonwoo:** Yeah.

 **Seungkwan:** No, he didn’t say that.

 **Wonwoo:** No, you. You said that.

 **Hansol:** You said to him that he didn’t care about you guys.

 **Seungkwan:** No, the thing is, he treats us differently. The main point is that ‘No, I’m sorry because ***looks at Wonwoo*** …’ Mingyu says that all the time, WHY? Just to make us…

 **Hansol:** No, it’s not to do that. It’s respect.

Like for me, when I don’t like a person, or any girl or boy in particular, just friends with everyone and I’m really nice to everyone. But if I start liking someone and that someone sees it and I’m still playing with everyone. And I’m still being that nice to everyone, to other girls, that’s ‘fuckboi’ or like ‘playboy 101’, that’s being a douchebag. Because If I’m always doing that to you, *kiss the air* on the cheeks. If I’m doing that kisses and hug hug, then _that someone_ walks in and sees me do that. What’s he ***looks at Wonwoo*** going to think?

Your stand ‘WHY’ It’s not that Mingyu’s doing it to make you feel bad, he said…

**Seungkwan:** But the thing is, WE don’t have to act like THEY are ‘married’ just because... because they are not ‘that’ together okay?

 **Hansol:** Yeah. So?

 **Seungkwan: *Looks at Wonwoo*** He (Mingyu) just makes it so serious. When the thing is that, WE’RE JUST TEENAGERS AND WE HAVE TO ENJOY OUR…

 **Wonwoo:** No, the point is that, yeah… he likes someone.

 **Hansol:** Difference in upbringing, in culture. It doesn’t matter even if you’re… Look it’s really hard to explain because you guys haven’t experienced it.

If you like someone, even if it’s a…let’s say it’s just a crush. If you like someone, it doesn’t matter if it’s a day crush or a week crush or a year crush, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you’re not together yet but sort of…you don’t act as if you are but you prepare, if that makes sense. Especially, if it’s not just a crush and you know it for yourself…

We’re just that protective in someone we care about.

Even though I’m not your boyfriend, I’m like a brother to you guys,

Even if a guy goes to you and starts talking to you,

I would hit him in the bones and then I would rip them and then I will saw it – okay, bad example. *laughs*

_\- - - - - - - - -- -end of part 1 - - - -- -- - - -_

**Jisoo sighed.** It was so uncomfortable to watch. He can never imagine what Wonwoo must’ve felt hearing all that. And they were talking about Mingyu and Wonwoo’s relationship like it wasn’t supposed to be serious?

Did he miss a part of the PDs instructions? Was it not allowed to talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo’s relationship in that certain way? No. Jisoo can’t recall any of that. But he did go to their café every once in a while. Now, he is reflecting everything about that shitshow.

All the cuts aired in the television might be just the words of **‘I like you’** – but what even are words when actions speak for themselves?

Jisoo does magic as the second part was uploaded. Knowing in no time, it will be trending like every clip he uploaded.

_\- - - - - - - - -- -▶Day 73/ THAT NIGHT at the Herbal garden part 2 - - - -- -- - - -_

**Hansol:** …really upset him. Because he thinks that,

 **Wonwoo:** All his stay here…

 **Seungkwan:** He (Hansol) said it already.

**Wonwoo:** …

**Hansol:** He (Mingyu) said ‘There have been work opportunities for me, but I’m leaving everything. At the beginning, I would take all the jobs, big and small.’

But now he’s saying that he turned down a very important one. When I asked why?

‘ **Because of them**. It was a job that told me to quit Hometeen, and I don’t want that. And every day I try to take care of them and they have the bones to say that I don’t care and I have changed so much.’

It was one mistake and he (Mingyu) has to always think about how he acts. Me too. I don’t know maybe I hide it better. This is not fully Hansol. This is like 90% or 85%. If Jisoo also left like Jeonghan? Mingyu and I would be bawling our eyes out.

**Wonwoo** : Foreign land dwellers.

**Hansol** : Yeah. He (Jisoo) understands us completely.

The thing is sometimes, if we show 100% then there’s a chance that we hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you *looks at Seungkwan* especially if it’s on TV. I don’t want that bad experience to be alive forever every time you look it up in the internet.

We’re showing most of ourselves but we’re not showing 100%. Because we can’t and we don’t want to yet, because we don’t want to hurt you guys at all and that’s what happened when he said,

‘It was because of Wonwoo.’ That’s maybe like an extra 1% of who Mingyu is.

I also have that,

I also do that,

I guess I just do it better.

*looks at Seungkwan*

And uhm. He (Mingyu) feels that after he adapted so much to be here and he makes one mistake…he meant that as a joke. And Jeonghan was laughing, Mingyu told me later and I…I smiled because I thought it was kind of funny uh…but it wasn’t meant as a…

**Chaeyeon:** I’m sorry.

**Hansol:** No, you don’t have to say sorry. It was just a misunderstanding.

**Wonwoo:** We just really need to hear both sides.

**Hansol:** Yeah.

_\- - - - - - - - -- -end of part 2 - - - -- -- - - -_

**Jisoo smiled knowingly but his eyes sadly flickers.** The three of them had been sharing the same sentiments about not showing part of themselves, afraid of hurting feelings. And Hansol was right that it’s about how they were brought up. Jisoo was raise and born in Los Angeles before moving to Korea, Hansol too was like that but from New York instead.

All the while, we have Kim Mingyu who stayed in Italy, where he found new confidence, no longer the sulking betrayed puppy that Jisoo knows him to be. Because when Kim Mingyu got back in Korea, he was able to show a brighter side of him, and it was easy to attract the right people in his life. Mingyu finally found true friends. Mingyu suddenly changed into someone more mature and overly sweet, obviously taking with him some attributes of a fine Italian man.

Mingyu once described, to Jisoo and Hansol, how he felt in Hometeen, _‘It’s like we’re walking on egg shells. How easy ‘they’ would break because of a wrong move. I have to adjust and it’s difficult. But, somehow Wonwoo makes it easy and that’s enough.’_

_._

_._

_._

**There were so many notifications in Jisoo’s phone.**

The bombardment of Chaeyeon’s fans, it’s nothing new, grabbing any chance to say deliberate hurtful and bad words at Wonwoo. Not even considering if everything they say is still reasonable or not. Most of the time, they’re not.

Then, Jisoo found a comment that links to a blog post. It said:

_Intimacy is not who you let you touch you._

_Intimacy is who you tell your dreams and fears to_

_Intimacy is giving someone your attention,_

_When ten other people are asking for it._

_Intimacy is the person always at the back of your mind,_

_No matter how distracted you are._

**He received an email.**

**It’s from** **Seokmin:** ‘ **PARTY AT MY HOUSE**!’

It’s just one week from now and all of them are invited.

**⬤⬤⬤**

**The next day.** Jisoo’s USB is missing. So it was quick to figure out why raging staffs made them form a line. It was like waiting for the fire to slowly burn you alive. Jisoo hates it. Dark auras clouded the room, emanated by the adults inside.

Everyone was waiting for that one person to present himself. The person who leaked privately owned footages of Hometeen.

The moment Seokmin shifted on his position, a small, “Jisoo” escaping his lips, Jisoo’s hand was already grasping at the arm of the said man beside him.

Seokmin’s voice was faint that the staffs needed to find out who even uttered a sound.

“I’m sorry, my leg is cramping so…” Wonwoo ducked down to put a pressure on his leg. With eyes squinting at Seokmin, the rest of the boys know Wonwoo’s faking it, “I had to snicker an ‘ouch’.”

“Ouch.” Jun repeats.

Jun’s chuckle gets cut with a hiss from a staff of their team, “We are doing our best to do some damage control here kids. Stop making it hard for all of you to rise into **A-listers**.”

Everything settled to the ban and prohibited use of gadgets in their Artist Room in the broadcasting company.

Well, Jisoo did save everything in his laptop, and he even burned a CD of that. So he is very much unbothered by all of these.

Though there are still more videos to prove something he witnessed… a happy relationship made complicated by Kim Mingyu himself –

_No matter how much they tailor the story to their favor, it won’t change the fact that Mingyu deeply cared for Wonwoo. What Mingyu said to Chaeyeon about Wonwoo in the bedroom, that wasn’t scripted._

– and maybe, it’s time to stop uploading now. He too wants to try being realistic for once, just like Wonwoo said, ‘ _feelings change’_.

It’s true.

Because _someone who really loves you,_  
Sees what a mess you can be,  
How moody you can get,  
How hard you are to handle,  
But in the end, still wants you.

⬤⬤⬤

**A few days later, at SCE broadcasting company**

**Seungkwan can’t stop crying.** He’s more of wailing really and can’t be consoled that Jisoo gently asked the staffs to leave the room. The room now looked so large with just them around – just him, Seungkwan, Jihoon, Seokmin, Jun and Wonwoo. Hansol again had a solo project.

THEN, Seungkwan kind of calmed down and starts to open up. He told them the reason of his sadness, his breaking point…because after Hometeen ended, Chaeyeon immediately gets mad at him whenever he becomes happy with the company of others. “She’s mad just like that, right away.”

“That’s like,” Jun makes a ‘choking’ gesture to give his point across.

Jihoon shakes his head but agrees, even if Chaeyeon is his friend, he comments, “that’s real suffocating, Seungkwan.” Trying not to laugh at Jun’s repeat of the ‘choking’ gesture.

Jun sneers, “She likes all the attention all to herself. That’s not healthy.” The others were silent. And silence means? YES, they all agree. He continued, “The world doesn’t revolve around her.”

Seokmin joins, his voice weak, “Everyone just needs space.”

“Once upon a time Mingyu said the same reason, OVERSENSITIVE.” Jun said over his shoulder while walking across the room to flop on the sofa, “UUUGH SHE’S SO CLINGY, good luck future boyfriend.”

Jisoo laughs beside Jun. Jun is now eyeing the snacks piled at the corner and Jisoo coughed, “Don’t you ask for chips now, we all know how that ends up. Because you might not have it and you’d cry! And then, you’ll say ‘I thought it was me.’” The familiar words were carefully drawn out of his lips. And Wonwoo’s eyes where closed to a degree of tightness that Jisoo knows Wonwoo heard it. AND Jun was laughing so loud.

“YAH.” Seokmin turned the atmosphere silent, all eyes on him. “Stop talking about that.”

Jisoo stands up, he doesn’t appreciate getting told off like that, especially from Seokmin, “We can talk about that. We can talk about anything we want, you idiot.”

Jihoon was slapping Seokmin’s arm, laughing at Seokmin’s reaction in that comical ‘I shouldn’t have said that’ expression, because now, Jisoo is pressed.

“But you’re also in the wrong here, Seungkwan. Because you’ve been tolerating her! Even when it’s already unacceptably wrong, you did nothing but indulge her more. And now, you too became her victim.” Before anyone can tell him off again, Jisoo storms out.

⬤⬤⬤

**3 DAYS BEFORE SEOKMIN’S PARTY.**

“I honestly don’t know if you’re okay, Wonwoo. I had hella heart eyes for Mingyu, you know, now I just roll my eyes at him.”

Wonwoo chuckled at Seulgi’s words. They’re talking on the phone but he can still visualize how exasperated the older was. “Me too.”

They’ve been a bickering mess ever since so it’s true that Mingyu earned a few eye rolls from him, and lots of heart eyes. But now that they’ve become near strangers, he doesn’t enjoy giving the guy his precious glances. “Hey, you should be worrying about feeding Irene and your child some good food for once.”

“なんでも!” Seulgi tells him off with her casual ‘whatever’.

There was silence that followed.

“I know you’re having a hard time,” Seulgi starts.

Wonwoo managed to say, “I’m fine.” Briefly fearing that his voice shows the tiredness reflected in his eyes. It’s often tiring to remind yourself that, _‘I’m strong. I keep my shit in line. Breathe and continue to say those two words, I’m fine.’_ Those two empty words.

Seulgi continued, “The pieces of your story are in the form of the people you meet. They can be the most beautiful chapters or just an unpleasant paragraph. They can be just a line of clean words. And some can even be the scribbles meant to be difficult to read. But then, you’ll meet someone bound to be so elemental you set their name in the title. That’s how you tagged the entire piece together.”

“Noona…” Wonwoo was lost for words.

“Or you can have a Cinderella story, with Chaeyeon and Seungkwan as your evil sisters.” Seulgi laughs. It was the sound that lightened Wonwoo’s heart even more that he chuckled. It was a way for his sister to lighten the mood or this conversation is just so new to the both of them that she tried to be lowkey about it. Wonwoo does that sometimes as well, the gene gaming is so strong on this one. But he needed that.

“I can’t deal with more sisters like you.” Wonwoo’s heart is full of warm gratitude and his laugh speaks for that.

.

.

.

**IT HAS BEEN A WHILE.**

To talk to Hansol like this, just the two of them. There hasn’t been any gap between them. But Wonwoo can’t help but notice the awkwardness that distorts Hansol’s features. He had to assure himself, _it’s because Hansol attends to many events unlike the rest of their team so he’s like that, like afraid to say a word to him_. Because it’s a silent acknowledgement that no one’s there to assure him but himself – the universe is denying him the word: ‘assurance’.

Hansol said the words familiar, “Mingyu’s nightmares are usually about losing you.”

“He said he didn’t want to lose me, but he wasn’t even trying to keep me.”

What he said caused a dilemma painted on Hansol’s face. But Wonwoo’s cold stance quickly breaks into a hearty laugh.

Hansol laughs unsure, “Um. He wants me to give you this.”

With a smile, Wonwoo takes the paper from Hansol, knowing very well that Hansol is Mingyu’s confidante in HomeTeen and this might not be a joke like what he expects it to be. “What’s this?” He asked unfolding the paper.

> _Name of apartment: Min600_  
>  Address: Yeongdong-daero, Gangnam-gu, Seoul  
> Unit is on the 15th floor  
> (…more of Mingyu’s Apartment Information)

“He wants the two of you to meet.”

Hansol’s words dawned on him and the smile he’s wearing fades away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	16. Color me blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some wins aren’t always meant to be celebrated with everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5QxFSgtRStYwVRCTsXoXmx?si=s-fRjtQDSUy0ulG6fyBpsA) for this chapter. Enjoy!!

**P A S T**

_You don't have to say I love you to say I love you  
Forget all the shooting stars  
and all the silver moons  
We've been making shades of purple  
out of red and blue _

(Play: [For Him by Troye Sivan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jv7RV67UNco))

[Play: [chapter’s spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5QxFSgtRStYwVRCTsXoXmx?si=s-fRjtQDSUy0ulG6fyBpsA)]

The purple skies cast its hushed tones over the heart of Gangnam. The district that will bustle in a few hours is quiet. Only the lights in a mess of buildings make it a bit lively. And the dash of warm lights coming from the café will soon be replaced by the blush of dawn.

Wonwoo have his orders with him, secured in an eco-friendly package designed for holding _two_ hot beverages. He’s out of the air thickened with coffee and into the chill street air with a purpose and a crumpled paper in the pocket of his trench coat.

Ten seconds away from the central station. It’s the distance to Mingyu’s apartment only if Wonwoo didn’t take another ten minute walk to a timeless café.

He’s not sure who started it, the game called _–_

_‘I’ll be fine without you. Watch me do stuff with everyone else except you. First to give in loses.’_

And Wonwoo thinks he won, but some wins aren’t always meant to be celebrated with everyone.

Wonwoo reached the unit just before dawn, with the firsts of rosy pinks and sandy yellows stretching from the wide windows of the living room; accentuating the striking features of Kim Minyu even in his sleepy form and a mess of bed hair. Wonwoo can’t look away.

“Caffè Marocchino?”

Wonwoo answers a nod. He missed mornings like this, having to hear the rasp in Mingyu’s voice.

“Reminds me of Italy,” Mingyu said ogling heartily at the coffee labels, “From where we stayed, they add some Cocoa. A great mix to the chocolate and foamed milk.”

Wonwoo caught the flicker of excitement in the tone of the younger’s voice. Maybe he comes here for that. He settles for a smile and a blow of air to his own cup of café au lait.

“Thank you, Wonwoo.” Mingyu’s hand reached for the male but stops it in the air.

Wonwoo was ready for the attack that never came. “Hm?” He perks and shakes his head knowingly.

He closed his eyes – closing with it the bashful feeling or be blinded if Mingyu decides to back away at his act – bowing his head to a degree closer to Mingyu’s hand.

When he felt the weight of the hand on his head, ruffling a mess to his hair, he smiled. It was something that would make him scowl at Mingyu. But this time, it’s to silently hint that he wants them both to act _normal_.

Wonwoo just wanted the happy version of them, when everyone seems to want nothing of that.

**The ring of Mingyu’s phone asks for attention.** Wonwoo watched Mingyu excuse himself, walking just three steps away. It was quite far if you’d ask Wonwoo, with the work of Mingyu’s long legs, not that he checked it out.

“What?” Mingyu answered the other line. Then, he meets Wonwoo’s gaze, “Are you sure it’s him, Nayoung? Wonwoo can’t do that.” His expression clouded in ache that he sighed when he ended the call.

Wonwoo wants to know what it was, but if Mingyu doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t want to pry.

“Are you…They said you’re selling yourself to some old man at the red district,” Mingyu looks down, “There are pictures of you circulating, Wonwoo.”

“Do you believe them, Mingyu?”

Wonwoo was sure there was hesitation in Mingyu’s stance. Wonwoo looks down, he’d seen enough. He felt like his heart is being squeezed, because Mingyu believes them. And still, he wants to believe the latter’s faint, ‘No.’

Mingyu lets him see the said pictures.

Wonwoo presses his lips with a slight frown, “That man just asked for directions.” He shakes his head with a chuckle, “It’s my fault, I should’ve been more careful. _It’s okay_. It’s the red district so they might misunderstand. But it’s nothing, I was with Jun and the rest of the staff.”

Wonwoo straightened up from the other’s burning stare. _Does he still doubt me?_

“Is that how you react to news like this?” Mingyu asked.

“What? I’m already used to people misunderstanding me.” _I’ve told you that before, right?_ But Wonwoo didn’t say the rest.

Doesn’t want to remind them of that day he said those words to Mingyu– “ _I’m already used to people misunderstanding me but… even after hearing rumors about me, you didn’t avoid me, or treat me any different.”_ _–_ those were his words when he confessed.

Wonwoo’s blood runs to embrace the unknown. If you truly appreciate the moment of the present, then you’re not afraid of tomorrows. You don’t get bitter that it will end; instead, you greet tomorrow with a smile because it happened.

In the end, it’s a beautiful day gone by.

That’s why meeting Mingyu is nothing but trouble. One day he was thankful of his generous acts to his nephew. And the next day, he constantly fears that something might change. It was the spark of feelings that made him felt more than alive. Mingyu makes him question his whole existence.

_Wonwoo once said,_

_“Ever since I met you, I kept getting all excited and depressed at the same time!”_

_– that fact never changed._

Even if the future is uncertain, he was so sure of his feelings for Mingyu, enough certainty to _confess_.

But that was in the past, when he was so sure of everything. It's different now. Day by day, Mingyu becomes a stranger. Yet, Wonwoo can’t seem to hate him.

_Mingyu after all is his beautiful day gone by._

Both of them settled at the couch, lost in their own thoughts.

**In Wonwoo’s life** , every frustration that builds and every thought that threatens to explode – he just takes a deep breath. Often times, he cracks a chuckle.

Even if situations scream at him to have a tantrum and beat his hands on the ground like a toddler, _he doesn’t_.

He wants to vent too, let it out.

But he also doesn't want to say words that he doesn't mean. He doesn’t want to be hurtful–

 _It's so easy to be cruel in this world_.

In those short moments, you can’t take back your words. Then, the damage is done.

And he understands that not everyone is like him. _Everyone is only human after all._ So even that too, saying things you don’t mean, it can happen. He acknowledges that everyone has been there, or done that.

That everyone is learning to deal with it –

 _That’s why he lets it go_.

If he can do nothing about it, then that’s it. No tantrums can turn back everything. So he doesn’t complain and _learned to accept things as it is_.

“Do _they_ know that you’re here?” Mingyu asked.

“No.” _Of course not,_ “You told Hansol though. Is there a problem if I told the others too?”

“Don’t.” Mingyu retorts, “Don’t tell them.”

 _Don’t look so serious now. It was just a light question._ Wonwoo looks away, “Okay.”

He stares at the spot on the coffee stained table, brightened by the natural light. Staring like it’s the most interesting in the world.

The daylight that surrounds them is calming.

**Wonwoo understands.**

It’s normal for Chaeyeon to learn to like Mingyu.

The only thing that pained Wonwoo to know was when she told him that she was avoiding him for that reason. All the while, he actually thought that there was something wrong with him.

Whenever he would try to get closer, he would always think that he probably did something wrong for her to pretend that he’s not there.

He had a hard time dealing with it, and it turned out it was because of a guy?

But at least, she told him. A heavy feeling was lifted off his chest, that there is nothing wrong with him and they’d probably get closer now?

After hometeen ended, she still greets him smiles and hugs and leaving right away after, even if she has the time to chat. So often that the question still hangs in the air, are they closer now?

It was enough though.

She’s been busy, with lots of supporters to deal with. And Wonwoo thinks there’s nothing wrong with that.

Because _people change_ –

He can’t wait until the internet trolls change to something more of a productive citizen. The rumors, he’s used to it all.

The hates at their school, being labelled as the **gangster/delinquet** , apparently wasn’t enough that many decided to join – only now they are of all ages and their hates more intense – _but it’s okay_.

He's always been the type to not care about the opinions of people who didn't matter. He continues to look forward to a better day.

And if there’s something that bothers him, it’s honestly a question –

_I get it. Mingyu and I are just teens. There are still many changes in the future. But why does it seem so hard to respect what we feel now?_

_–_ that he’s no longer waiting an answer for, when their feelings are at a breaking point now anyways.

Because ‘ _people change’_ is something as inevitable as ‘ _feelings change’_.

And that’s the thing with Mingyu. If it comes down to that, Wonwoo, and so many people he knows, can do nothing about it. So he doesn’t complain and learned to accept things as it is.

_He’s now in the point of his life where hiding the broken parts of him became as easy as breathing._

**Mingyu on the other hand is a mess.**

Not the kind mess of a bed hair or the messy way he bites his lips after a sip of his drink. Not even the mess of daylight that makes his skin a glowing tan…like a creamy shade of coffee, just Wonwoo’s taste. We’re getting out of track –

 **Again, Mingyu on the other hand is a mess.** And it’s the hesitant glances kind of mess. The mess of unsure movements, he opts to just stay still. It’s almost uncomfortable to look at.

The guilt that contorts the handsome face smoothens out when Wonwoo offered a smile. Mingyu scoots closer to his space. The action made Wonwoo think about the words he’s been pondering on –

_A fresh page is yet to be written._

Right, Wonwoo came here because of this. Even if Mingyu is that piece in Wonwoo’s story, a form of scribbles that are hard to read, Wonwoo still wants him there nonetheless.

_But are pages required to be white?_

**What is the color of bravery?**

Wonwoo didn’t know how it started. But he can taste the coffee in Mingyu’s lips, at the way they move slowly against his. The way his hand, which clutched at the now discarded coffee, is tangled on Mingyu’s hair. The way he travelled them to circle at Mingyu’s neck, _a little brave_. And the way Wonwoo pulls him in to deepen the kiss, _braver than before_.

Finding the bravery, there’s another question in his mind amidst the haze of emotions.

**What color is Mingyu?**

Their coffee might now be left there to be cold – but the way their breaths mix in, the intimately drawn proximity, the craving drive – they instead were left there to be a hot mess.

And Wonwoo lets Mingyu unfold him.

_With Fire on fire would normally kill us,  
With this much desire, together, we're winners.  
They say that we're out of control  
and some say we're sinners,  
But don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms. _

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu exhales shakily, gaze fixed at the male under him as he continued to sensually thrust in and out of the tight heat, steadying the pretty legs that opens just for him.

Wonwoo arched his back;

His mind feels a little hazy.

When he hears Mingyu’s warm voice...

Saying his name like that, he’s dizzy for it.

He can’t miss the enticing rasp in the breathy moans that Mingyu makes, in contrast to Wonwoo’s probably needy ones. The burn of being penetrated and the way their bodies move in an intoxicating desire, he can already feel the surge of pleasure coiling tightly and impending release. This is bad.

Wonwoo lets out an embarrassing sound and the feverish feeling was hard to control, that he just came. The pleasurable tingles envelopes his trembling state with his juices in their abdomens.

Even more flustered when Mingyu pushed Wonwoo’s hair back to probably see the tint of red on his face. And then the unsteady pace is there, Mingyu following after, Wonwoo felt the shoot of warm liquids filling him up.

Mingyu meets their foreheads and they were catching their breaths. The air is thick of sex and coffee. _And Wonwoo likes his coffee like this – steamy hot, creamy, and blissful too._

.

.

.

**Today, of all days why is it so cloudy**?

It’s raining, a paint of cool tone to Seoul from the open blinds of the bedroom window. But there’s warmness in Mingyu’s bed. Or maybe, that warmness is from Mingyu, who’s sleeping beside him. Wonwoo doesn’t have to look at the clock to know that it points to a time where he can just stare at his heart’s content.

_The sky is gray, and if I’m black and white,  
Kim Mingyu paints me a **clear blue sky.**  
Without him, I’m color blind,  
It’s raining every time I open my eyes. _

**Mingyu is color blue.**

In Wonwoo’s eyes, there’s no other color that suits Mingyu more.

Wonwoo is not an artist. His thoughts only create a pigment of heat on his cheeks.

But for him,

Mingyu is the _color_ _blue_ intermediate between his favourite hues of tranquil leaves and tempest of lilacs – or the sea on a sunny day – enough to leave him breathless.

Even at this moment, Mingyu takes his breath by just waking up beside him. The crooked smile and his hand on Wonwoo’s waist were pleasant.

Everything is blue.

“Are you hungry?” Mingyu asked, “Um. You can have me for lunch, Jeonun-.”

A pillow crashed on Mingyu’s face, muffling with it his laughter – Wonwoo’s way of hiding his heated face, “You’re nasty.”

Mingyu nods and replies with a sulk, “I’m nothing but nasty in your eyes.”

Wonwoo nods a ‘yes’ but his smile says otherwise, he likes to tease the younger, “It’s not what I meant –”

“So it’s okay to have me for lunch?”

“No.” Wonwoo snorts and scoots at the edge of the bed only to be pulled back into the warmth of Mingyu’s embrace.

“I hate you,” Wonwoo breathes out but _he moved closer_. His face settles at the crook of Mingyu’s neck.

“I hate you too.” Mingyu’s smile is back, as well as his hand on the dip of Wonwoo’s waist.

“You know, we should eat first, I have free cinnamon buns.”

Mingyu smirks, “Yeah, you do. I’m gentle with it.”

Wonwoo groans at the hand that squeezed his butt cheek – Kim Mingyu is one _cheeky bastard –_ “Idiot, stop. It’s in the living room!”

“Really?”

“Yeah all free with the coffee earlier.”

“A promo? Or someone…gave it to you?”

Wonwoo was confused when Mingyu leans away with a sour expression, “Right. The café staff recognized me, so he gave it for free. Said he watched H-” He didn’t finish his words because Mingyu decided to step out of the bed.

“I’m not eating those cinnamon buns,” Mingyu declares standing tall, “unless it’s your cinnamon bun – okay, okay, I’ll prepare lunch. So don’t eat that.”

“Why not?” Wonwoo’s words were again not heard. So he props up his elbow and reached for Mingyu’s hand, “Hey.”

The taller just glanced at him and left the room.

Wonwoo flops back to the softness. He’s calming himself at the visuals– Mingyu is that proud to walk around naked, with that masterpiece dangling between his legs just as proud – a sight to behold. Wonwoo is just flushing red at this moment, no big deal.

.

.

.

**Ramen**. That’s their lunch. Wonwoo wants to think that because it’s easier and faster to make. So their time is spent more like this, sitting comfortably at the couch engulfed in the warmness of a blanket.

The rain tones the vibe chill and sitting beside Mingyu sets everything warm. It’s all good except, Mingyu’s clothes are too big on Wonwoo and Mingyu’s giggling about it.

“Wonwoo.”

At that, Mingyu got his attention. Especially now that Mingyu’s glance is unsubtle on his lips. And Wonwoo watched Mingyu lean down to plant a kiss on his… on the hand that Wonwoo placed to cover his lips. And his sharp eyes were firm to imply, 'no kisses'.

Mingyu reluctantly moved away, puckered lips thinning to a line, “Okay. Okay. I’m not going to kiss you unless you told me so. I’m not clingy.” He huffs along the lines.

But a few minutes into the film they’re watching, Wonwoo is already shaking his body away from Mingyu’s hug, “Do you even know the meaning of ‘clingy’? Look at you.”

“Okay, but can we set a rule?” Mingyu said instead with no signs of removing his arms around Wonwoo.

“What?”

“No one will use their mobile phones, okay? I don’t want you chatting with anyone while you’re here with me.”

Wonwoo crinkled his nose in disbelief, “Let go.”

“No.” Mingyu hugs the male even tighter, “Say yes, first.”

“Fine.” Wonwoo finds himself smile, reflecting the delight in Mingyu’s expression.

Mingyu kissed him then, smooth with lingering warmth.

“KIM MINGYU WHERE IS YOUR **I’M NOT GOING TO KISS YOU UNLESS YOU TOLD ME SO?** ” Wonwoo smacks Mingyu with the throw pillow at every word.

Mingyu was breathing hard – mostly from laughing – after snatching the throw pillow away from Wonwoo. “Aren’t you blushing now?”

Wonwoo blinks when Mingyu’s expression softened. This is bad. At Wonwoo’s faint, “Shut up.” Mingyu’s lips captured his, preventing him to complain.

Or will he really complain? When he’s already lying on his side of the couch, almost dizzy at how their lips work in a sloppy mess.

They break the kiss, staring into eyes smudged of emotions for each other. For a second they just breathe into each other’s mouth.

_They didn’t have a ‘normal’ relationship,  
Sharply, they teased each other,  
Unsubtly, they hit each other,  
They call each other names,  
But underneath that –  
Anyone could see how much they cared,  
Because if you listened closely,  
To every joking “shut up”  
There was an ‘I love you’ inside it. _

And Wonwoo lets Mingyu unfold him. He lets himself melt into Mingyu’s touch. Lighted up with desire, and heated for more. Their movements create sparks and their sounds along with it filled the air. And then, they roll with it, the pleasure ignited the best way.

.

.

.

 **Wonwoo wakes up at 5pm,** when the rain is gone and the sight is only the vision of blue where the light came through. Mingyu is blue.

Wonwoo met gazes with the gentleness of calm seas. He felt soft and safe. He wants to feel more of the moment but Mingyu’s already invading his space.

A steamy making out ensures and Wonwoo wants to feel more of him.

“You’re still so soft down here,” Mingyu says in between kisses.

Wonwoo felt the other’s smile on his skin as he felt two fingers stretching him. Fuck. The sensation is phenomenal. “Shut up. It’s your fault.”

_No one can touch me like you do._

Wonwoo is not an artist. He only creates a pigment of heat to his body – Wonwoo became so red. And Mingyu still is the blue of hurricanes. Feeling him up and suddenly he was a lilac sky.

Like their witness of a saturated sunset.

**I will be with you in a mess of bed, having deep conversations, and lighted by sunset after sex.**

“It won’t be easy…”

“I know.”

“I might hurt you.”

“It’s okay.”

“You might want to run away.”

“I won’t.”

.

.

.

**They’re lighting up each other, finding their way through the dark, and burning the brightest together.**

Their waves of color spark to mark all the corners of Mingyu’s apartment. Not getting enough of each other. It’s the feeling deep inside him, that’s taking all he’s got. It’s the riding – Okay, stop, Wonwoo is going to lose his mind at this point.

He just want to get to this part, the argue that comes to who’s going to wash the dishes after the dinner that Mingyu actually put effort into, a side rose on the table where they ate.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Mingyu watched in horror, he clumsily poured water all over Wonwoo, “I – you can just wait for me at the living room, okay? I’m sorry, I’m such a –”

“It’s okay. It’s just me.”

Wonwoo’s been keeping count of catching Mingyu in these moments. When Mingyu becomes so careful to a degree that is heart breaking, because Mingyu doesn’t need to be sorry for who he is. “I’ll help you with that. And we can change our clothes after this.”

He watched Mingyu relaxing at his words. Mingyu doesn’t need to walk on eggshells around him.

Wonwoo likes him clumsy like this, “GET THAT!!!” so he could splash the taller with water as well. “You deserve that!” He scrunched his nose and tilts back his head laughing.

_I remember you laughing, so let’s just laugh again._

To see him crack a genuine smile, that stupid smile of his that reminds Wonwoo of home.

_Does Mingyu feel the same?_

**He needed this chill vibes as much as he needed the passionate ones** , the playful banters but Wonwoo’s head is resting on Mingyu’s chest, the slaps on skin because the film was too funny, the whines that Mingyu makes because Wonwoo goes back to being shy with kisses, and the part where Wonwoo calls Mingyu an 'Idiot' because the latter kisses him anyways.

Then, Mingyu's phone lighted from a notification.

Wonwoo watched Mingyu pull away. The sorry in his eyes was evident as he went to get his phone. Maybe because Mingyu remembers the rule of them not using their mobile phones? But he did it anyway.

_It’s fine, it could be something important._

Wonwoo saw the expression on Mingyu’s face brightened up by someone at the other line…Oh, it was a _video call_. Mingyu made sure Wonwoo wasn’t seen in frame.

“Yeah, I’m excited too, Chaeyeon.” Mingyu said.

Wonwoo heard the same pitch of excitement at the other line, he can almost visualize Chaeyeon's pretty smile.

He saw the way Mingyu runs his hand on his hair, to fix himself infront of the gem. Chaeyeon is a gem, Wonwoo knows that.

That's why he can understand why Mingyu would look bashful infront of her, because who wouldn't? She’s the sweetest and her shit ton of followers can say that a hundred times over.

**Mingyu is color blue.**

He’s the blue of hurricanes. The same hurricane that creates chaos. _Once again, Mingyu wants to pull him into his vortex_. Tempting him to jump in the frenzy of sentiments, one of which questions his existence. Will he take up the thrill of the challenge knowing it's tiring on his emotions?

Wonwoo sets his body to relax. It was his quiet choice.

Mingyu’s voice flow out loudly at the other side.

Because Wonwoo knew that instead of being pulled in, Mingyu has a dilemma. He can either be the calmest of waves or _seek another person to pull into his hurricane._

Even if he knew such, Wonwoo's quiet choice was hoping for the hurricane to become still, and it did.

Mingyu went back to their space after the video call. And Wonwoo didn’t mind that the latter broke the rule about using their phones.

Mingyu holds him closer and Wonwoo’s heart is strong enough.

_No one can touch me like you do._

Throughout the night, they were making shades of purple out of red and blue.

Mingyu stares at Wonwoo like he’s staring at the pages and the ink. Then, he lets Mingyu wander his body at the man’s content until Mingyu is spilling on the pages.

_I want you to color me blue, anything it takes to remember a beautiful day gone by._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! The next chapter will be about the PARTY! Stay tuned.  
> Click for [Trailer/Inspired by.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivl0kWm9Pu8&feature=youtu.be)


	17. Purple just wasn't for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Party.

**CHAPTER 17**

**P A S T**

Should I watch till the end?  
Or should I just leave now?  
What if there's a plot twist? I can't let you go.  
Even the words you haven’t said yet,  
I can hear it loudly,  
Though I act otherwise, but I already know.

_(Play:[Spoiler by Epik High](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-hOzVPyHeE)) _

_[[chapter’s spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6zHy8jXsRwkYWnmi3wn4Yg?si=MFkqnkCNRjCt1sHpeM1nkw)] _

At the leafy southern slope of Namsan is where the grandeur of the Lee’s Residence, standing tall amidst celebrity owned apartments. Beautifully designed and laid-out. It is expected that the party in the household beholds a premier of extravagance and more.

The air is filled of candy colored lights. And it is reflected at the man-made tropical pool of beautiful rock formations, one that is an imitation of the greenest of pond in a Seoul Forest. It balances the party in a modern and nature feel.

 **At 6PM.** There are the shuttering sounds of cameras, reporters’ voices blending to a smoke of candy lights. He made a welcome speech, the man of the hour, being the one who hosted the event, Lee Seokmin –

“Welcome! I see so many familiar faces. As expected, everyone looks great in gold (theme). This is supposed to be a gathering of friendship.” A glass of wine, he lifts up to where his friends are listening. “Today marks the sixth month after the first episode of Hometeen was released.”

**Jeon Wonwoo** wears a designer brand that he knows nothing about, high neck ruffles with faint gold oriental floral pattern covered by the elegance of a tailcoat that shapes his body at the right angles _. That’s right, it’s been 6 months._

It’s been a while to see everyone gathered like this.

Although he hasn’t seen Mingyu yet, he already knows the man would look gorgeous tonight. Wonwoo is looking forward to see the giant puppy again, more so because they haven’t talked after _that day_.

He didn’t mind, he understands that everyone is busy with this event. Mingyu has a team of his own and words travelled about Mingyu’s team being the busiest, more than their team. That’s _big_ news, considering their team is consisted with seven artists to manage.

Tonight, to Mingyu, he’s definitely going to properly say… _I love you_.

Wonwoo’s line of thoughts was distracted by a nudge. He didn’t know he was nervous until he finds himself relaxing at Jeonghan’s smile.

“So there’s a press conference first?” Jeonghan points out. He’s probably huffy about this unannounced coverage of the party. But Wonwoo was laughing beside him and then nothing else mattered.

There are familiar interviewers dazzling in gold sequences, the same color that resembles the glitters in the air from the mess of camera works and noise of shutters.

“Don’t worry. These outsiders are set to leave later. By then, we can party without cameras around,” Jihoon informed.

It was time for their team to join Seokmin, but Jihoon didn’t bother. With the way things are going or the way he and Wonwoo exchanged glances, they had a silent agreement to let Seokmin take the spotlight. The two of them talked about things like this before, they want to take it easy. They just match at NOT enjoying long interviews and this one will be one of those.

“That’s great! AHH I was already getting tired at the thought of entertaining bunch of nobodies.” Jeonghan whined.

Jihoon agrees with a slap on Jeonghan’s arm.

Wonwoo scans around and Seungcheol is currently doing what Jeonghan didn’t want to, already going around asking some guests about their stay. And then, there’s Chan laughing with Soonyoung –

Wonwoo easily noted the nervous glances of Kwon Soonyoung, only calming when he emptied several glasses of cocktails. He approached the man to say, “Slow down, you don’t want to sleep this night away.”

Soonyoung exhaled, his hands are clammy and we have Jeon Wonwoo staring right through his soul. “I’m just...thirsty.”

Chan snickered a ‘damn right’ before following Seungcheol to the bar area. To be honest, they came here to make sure Wonwoo is alright and also to have drinks.

The group already talked with Wonwoo and they are damn sure that Wonwoo is fine, an almost glowing kind of fine. And Wonwoo looks so fine, Mingyu won’t be able to look at anyone else but him.

Chan is so sure of that, so now the drinks he opts to know more about – more than the guests – while the night is young.

Soonyoung did stop pulling out drinks from busy waiters. Beside him, he side eyed the one that – knows him best – comments about him being ‘nervous’.

But he knows Jeon Wonwoo well enough as well, who’s looking at him with those _sorry_ eyes. Both of them are aware of the fact that Wonwoo is now more comfortable with the limelight, more than him. It used to be the other way around. Wonwoo need not to be sorry for that.

So Soonyoung offered the most genuine smile, one that rounds his cheeks high enough to hide his eyes, and Wonwoo softens instantly.

“You look like a handsome tiger,” Wonwoo compliments. There’s that twinkle in Soonyoung eyes that everyone wants to see. _Right, don’t be so nervous now._

“You look sexy. Like you’ve been properly fucked or –”

“Kwon Soonyoung, you’re fucking drunk.”

Soonyoung laughed so loud it attracted attention, “I’m not. But you got that aura.”

Wonwoo doesn’t want to know more about that ‘aura’ so he shakes his head instead.

Then, he clapped along with the crowd because finally Seokmin ended his speech. Soonyoung too was focused at the man of the hour, who’s now leaving the platform.

“Wonwoo, I want to talk to him.”

 _Of course,_ “Go.”

.

.

.

Soonyoung was grateful to Wonwoo who gave him the direction to the right wing of the place. Notably, Seokmin apparently went to a particular space with a dead end.

Every step is making his heart beat faster.

And he’s there. Seokmin’s back is facing him.

Soonyoung wanted to chuckle because Seomin’s dress code is all gold. Because of course, no one likes gold more than Seokmin. Oh? He did chuckle. He realized that the act got Seokmin’s attention. “Hi.”

Seokmin ends the call with someone important. “Hello.”

Soonyoung was obviously bashful and obviously ‘tipsy’.

He just stands there, just wanted to stare at Seokmin. He thinks this is just a dream and probably, he’s sleeping somewhere from drinking too much, probably. “I like you.”

Seokmin looks down, “I’m a horrible man, Soonyoung. You won’t like me if I say that…one time, I set up Wonwoo in the arts building. I told him Mingyu wants to meet him there, but it was a lie. I… I told Nayeon, Tzuyu and Chaeyeon that Wonwoo is there. I told them they can tell him to stop being involved with Mingyu.”

One moment, he’s so soft for the guy but now, Soonyoung is shaking in rage. He didn’t know how he managed to hold himself back, but he stayed at his spot. “Why?”

“No, this is not the sad part,” Seokmin said.

He finally looked at the pained expression of Soonyoung, and continued, “That day, I didn’t know that Mingyu was actually near in the area. That day, they saw each other. That day, when I thought everything will end between them, I was so wrong. Because that day, they… actually became a couple. I’m not really sure about this but Wonwoo…confessed to Mingyu that time.”

_It’s not the sad part? Really?_

Soonyoung’s heart is still sinking though. “You’re just saying all these so I can hate you. Right?” He laughs emptily, “You can just say you don’t like me, okay? Do you…Do you like Mingyu?”

Seokmin firmly shakes his head ‘no’, “I want Mingyu to succeed, Soonyoung.” He sighed, “You won’t get it. It’s for his own good…it’s difficult to explain.”

_I won’t get it. Of course, I’m just a boring kid who doesn’t have ties with popular people. I won’t get the kind of life you live in. Of course, I won’t get it. I won’t get you._

He’s crying now. Fuck.

Seokmin sighed, “This is just not the right moment for them.”

“You don’t get to tell that. Don’t tell me that this isn’t the right moment. Wonwoo…he shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.”

Seokmin stayed silent.

Soonyoung continued, “I…I want to hate you.”

“You should. You will.”

“Is this the part where I punch you because you did that to my best friend?”

Soonyoung won’t, and Seokmin laughed knowing that he won’t. But Seokmin won’t know that Soonyoung wants to kiss him instead. But then again, Soonyoung hates him so that too he won’t do.

Seokmin straightened up, “It’s the part where we head back to the party. Because like I said, what happened before…is not the sad part. **But this is**.”

_What do you mean…?_

At a distant, bright applause and hazy chatter could be heard. Soonyoung couldn’t make out any words, but Kim Mingyu’s laugh rang in his ears, a deafening sound from clumsy microphone work that followed suit.

Kim Mingyu is clumsy and Soonyoung can’t seem to stop worrying for a different reason.

.

.

.

**Kim Mingyu stands with Jung Chaeyeon in front of everyone.**

Wonwoo is right, Mingyu looks gorgeous. Once again, he’s struck by the good looks of Kim Mingyu. He’s the perfect action man in that tuxedo. The attractive youth with that charming smile, those dark brown eyes – he knew so well how to use – held a basic wariness.

They say Kim Mingyu looks so expensive. In Wonwoo’s eyes, the man is rich in so many aspects, like Mingyu can cook foods that warm the heart; he knows how to fix things even the ones he ruined from being the clumsy giant that he is; he takes care of everyone around him; he burn himself up to give light to others.

Mingyu started, “I’m going to announce…”

Chaeyeon continued, “…that he’s my boyfriend.”

Mingyu nods, “She’s my girlfriend.”

The atmosphere was cheery loud; it shows how everyone wanted this. The _gold_ danced around as reporters crowding the front to battle for a good coverage of the powerful news.

Wonwoo watched Mingyu’s eyes light up with a smile.

He can see it now, everyone is right. Mingyu looks good beside Chaeyeon. They look good together.

_I should’ve known by then, having no words from you_ _after that beautiful day gone by,_

_They are all spoiler._

Wonwoo meet Mingyu’s cold eyes. _What are we?_ Friends don’t really kiss the way they did. But even if they’re not friends, someone else will love him too. So there’s no reason to smile at each other when they are now merely strangers – once full of life, once full of love.

_In your every action, I see our end._

Wonwoo tells himself _it's not true._ But all those times that they didn’t contact each other, he would always freeze up in overwhelming thoughts. He should’ve known, the words he writes then erased, these are all a foreshadowing.

In those times –

_I already felt the spoiler._

Wonwoo was fooling himself that he’s brave... If he steps into it once, he falls into it deeper.

 _It’s all cliché._ Having to expect less, or often times expecting the worst… _these scenes are now so typical, as if I've seen them hundreds of times. But why am I nervous?_

A reporter asked, “Mingyu. How did you know that you love her?”

“When you admire everything about a person, you will learn to love him or her. You can watch that person from afar, and just admire. When the person means so much, it’s so good to care of each other.”

“What is your message to her?”

“Chaeyeon, I want to make you feel wanted.”

Everything straightens out in soft gradients…

Wonwoo can only let the feeling suffocate him in the slowest way.

Mingyu paints him a clear blue sky… but they said ‘blue’ is also an emotion, because it is the color of tears. And Mingyu paints him the same emotion.

_All the times I act so cool, I’m shaking inside_

_Why does it hurt me so?_

But Wonwoo _can’t bring himself to cry_. He doesn’t understand. _Why?_

He finds himself at this moment, nothing but grey.

One reporter asked, “Chaeyeon, what’s your message to Mingyu?”

Chaeyeon turned to Mingyu, they’re holding hands dearly.

**“I’m going to treasure you forever.”**

Wonwoo felt the waves of emotions crushing his heart more than it already is, shredding it to even smaller pieces. And his stream of thoughts flashes back to one fine summer day –

_“We also have an announcement,” Mingyu said holding Wonwoo’s hand in a gentle assurance._

_“I’m-” In front of his friends, Wonwoo half-bowed to say, “I’m going to treasure him forever.”_

_–_ The day that they announced their relationship to their friends.

After hearing the same words from her, he can’t bear to see Mingyu’s reaction. Wonwoo looks down at his glass of wine – how unfair it is to have it sweet and bitter at the same time.

_All the promises we made in the beginning, did you forget because you’re busy?_

_Or are you already too busy forgetting?_

**At 8PM.** There are still the shuttering sounds of cameras, but now it’s the softest music that blends to a smoke of candy lights. And there they are –

Kim Mingyu and Jung Chaeyeon, dancing sweetly for everyone to witness.

Wonwoo didn’t know how he managed to take in everything at this point. Still, he’s wondering why he can’t seem to cry when he knows – everyone knows – that he’s in misery right now. They just watch him like they know he’s strong enough to handle this. What do they really know? Surely, they wouldn’t know that he’s hurting in ways that words would never be.

Wonwoo once thought that, _he’s now in the point of his life where hiding the broken parts of him became as easy as breathing._ And now it’s slapping him in the face, even breathing is painful.

_Because I really love you,_

_Maybe that's why it hurts this much…_

Everyone is gushing at the way Mingyu holds Chaeyeon closer to him. Wonwoo watched the love of his life lean in to another girl. Mingyu whispered about something that made Chaeyeon laugh. There’s something at Mingyu’s expression when she buried her face on his chest, the kind of bashfulness – he knew all too well – would cause so many of their fans to swoon.

Wonwoo saw how she was trying to hide a blush but she can’t bear to not look at him.

_Right, Mingyu always makes it kinda hard not to stare._

And now Mingyu is staring at Chaeyeon. Chaeyeon is so pretty so Wonwoo can understand why.

_I don’t stand a chance when you look at her that way._

_Should I watch till the end? Or should I just leave now?_

_What if there's a plot twist?_

The two hold their gazes together; dancing like no one else mattered. Everyone can see the glimmer of fondness between them.

**“Are you alright?” Jun asked.**

Wonwoo looked down; and it's killing him to say, **“I’m fine.”**

When he really mean to say,

_He’s my all and more._

He focused back at the dancing couple, particularly at the man gorgeous in all angles.

_You’re my all and more._

_But I need room to breathe._

**At 10PM.** There are NO signs of shuttering sounds of cameras, _only silence_ blends to a smoke of candy lights. The couple has been inside the mansion 30 minutes ago. Chan needed to escort the drunken Soonyoung home. And the rest of the bunch are still here with Wonwoo, still out in the garden space, clouded in a sullen aura – clearly, not in the mood to party.

“I don’t know what to say. I thought this would all turn out… different,” Jun said, his lively character dissipated few hours ago.

“This is not right. Kim Mingyu that guy, I can talk to him…” there’s no courage in Seungcheol’s tone of voice.

Wonwoo, who’s been staring into space, finally speaks, “But how can a heart, which you can’t control, be right or wrong…”

Jeonghan is gloomy – the aura clouding his space is unsubtle – and his gaze followed Wonwoo’s line of sight, to the beautiful rocks hugging the greenest of pool.

The calm waters know nothing about the party that caused a wreck of emotions to the group.

 _And there he goes again…_ “He who remains ‘loving’ in a world that is often so unkind,” Jeonghan voiced it like he can’t understand but he does – Wonwoo remains ‘loving’ Kim Mingyu, his world, that is often so unkind.

“Guys.” Jisoo called their attention, to notify them that someone is approaching –

_Jung Chaeyeon._

She stands in front of the man with the name she draws out cheerfully, “Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo can see it, clearly. With that pretty smile brighter with a lingering expectation. Wonwoo can see how Chaeyeon is waiting for him to _congratulate_ her.

_I’m curious if I look fine to you._

He didn’t give her that delight. He doesn’t even know what expressions he is making right now.

She takes his hand, “Mingyu wanted to return this…”

“IT’S OKAY, Wonwoo. You got Mingyu at his best,” Joshua said, finally breaking his gentleman image in front of Chaeyeon, “She’ll have him at whatever he’s evolved into… if she can keep him.”

While Jisoo was saying something, Wonwoo already felt the thing that Chaeyeon closely handed to him. When he felt the round object, he already knew that nothing can comfort him now. Even if Chaeyeon is closely covering it with her hand, they both know what it was.

Mingyu’s ring.

But with the way Jisoo talked, Chaeyeon accidentally brushed it out of Wonwoo’s palm. From where she covered it, they watched the piece of silver shortly travel down to inevitably drop – in a blink of an eye – to the calmness of the pool water.

 _I don’t know what’ I’m more afraid of, to see you again or to never see you again_ – that applies both to Mingyu and the promise ring.

**Wonwoo is not really someone who cares to see or give a damn about what anyone thinks of him.**

So the calmness of water, splashed to a blur of soft colors. Everyone could only stare at the scene –

**Wonwoo jumped into the pool.**

Wonwoo dived in an uncomfortable projectile, or it was his tailcoat that drinks the water to a degree of heaviness that he needed to discard it. It wasn’t doing its job anyways, can’t warm him up with his body submerged in this cold water.

His air bubbles make their way to the surface with every depth he takes.

He almost forgot that this is the cause of his anxiety; this was once his death-trap. And now, he’s like swimming in vodka – the intoxicating feeling of finally facing his fear. Yet it isn't clear like the liquor, it was green on the surface but strangely this depth is blue. Not the blue of a perfect sky… because he can almost visualize Mingyu in this rich color of tears.

He always thought its lovely, deep down under the water. It’s like being in different world. If only he’s not in a mess of adrenaline, he can wholly enjoy it. If only he’s not searching for a piece of ring amongst the bed of rocks with the water being uncommonly clear, so much so that it was impossible to gauge the depth.

He’s losing hope…

His heart is beating wild, it was the wild of emotions so heavy and suffocating. He was meant to find the ring, that’s what he thought, but he reaches out a hand to nothing. It’s sad that time can’t be stopped. He feels suffocated more and more.

And Wonwoo didn’t fight back when strong arms pulled him up, with the promise of not letting him go. He wants to feel this so much.

Jeonghan and Wonwoo rise to the surface, floating to reach the edge and the rest helped them out of the pool.

.

The voices weren’t registering. Wonwoo’s mind is a tangle of sentiment. He can finally swim again but he felt more drowning in ways that words would never be. He’s even drowning when he’s not even in the pool now. Fuck. It pains him more because this feeling shouldn’t be here. And it kills him to say,

“I didn’t find it... I didn’t find Mingyu’s ring.”

Wonwoo doesn’t have to look at the clock, to know that the two hands are facing away from each other – briefly showing his future with Mingyu.

They said ‘blue’ is also an emotion, because it is the color of tears.

BUT Wonwoo is not crying. He just can’t understand it himself.

When his face is dripping wet, an opportunity to hide tears, but there’s just no tears.

Ah, there’s no blue. There’s no Mingyu. Everything is grey.

I found Gangnam lying in your arms, melting in your bedroom where we made shades of purple out of red and blue.

I found Namsan with someone else in your arms, swimming in vodka even when you decided purple just wasn't for you.

Wonwoo is so devoid of color, he’s grey.

If only I can tear all the pages and the ink, but all I want is for you to say…say you’ll love me again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa we had major /online/ examS so it took a while. Thank you for reading!!!
> 
> Seokmin talked about what happened in Chapter 5 (Nayeon & Tzuyu Cameo) Waeee. Also, Wonwoo finally conquered his fear because of Mingyu. So there's that. We will still be in the past for the next update, stay tuned!


	18. Hardest to say

**P A S T**

_You and me  
I know the bright days  
Have already passed  
But I still want you too bad  
For me to give up _

_(Play:[Still by Day6](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdrfYeh4cys)) _

_[[chapter’s spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6zHy8jXsRwkYWnmi3wn4Yg?si=MFkqnkCNRjCt1sHpeM1nkw)] _

It’s been two days after the party ended whatever Mingyu and Wonwoo had. Up to this day, Wonwoo carried on without crying. He faced mornings not understanding it himself.

All the while, Mingyu’s change of heart was made sure to make headlines. It even reached to the mountainous province of Gangwon-do. His Seulgi noona is back in Seoul to make sure he’s okay. It’s good that she decided to leave Haechan with Irene. That kid doesn’t have to know the pains of the world.

Wonwoo told her his sentiments. She said even if he finds Mingyu, the boy with tousled pompadour; tall, honest and kind will be missing.

Afternoons are the noisy excuse of comforting talks with few of his friends.

Jeonghan is firm with his brilliant advice to cut off ties with Mingyu and burn everything that Mingyu gave Wonwoo. Jun really didn’t understand how Mingyu can choose Chaeyeon over Wonwoo. Soonyoung and Dino were talking about ‘Closures’. At this point, Seungcheol’s words hold no power to the opinions that are all over the place. And Jisoo just made sure Wonwoo is not overwhelmed by the others when it is supposed to be Wonwoo and Mingyu’s relationship – not theirs.

Wonwoo is grateful for everyone nonetheless.

But he had thought long enough,

_One more time, back to that day,_

_Just one more day, back to that time._

If only he could go back.

* * *

**Jeon Wonwoo finds himself in Gangnam.** Looking at same sunset, and feeling the same.

_With what words can I express this feeling?_

_Maybe, I can’t let you go._

He’s nervous. He glides his tongue wet to his drying lips, but he didn’t bother for coffees. Coffee is like an invitation for sex now that he’s heading to Mingyu’s apartment. Damn, what did coffees ever do to be accused this nasty? Wonwoo can only shake his head out of the thoughts.

**15th floor, this is it.**

_I want to talk everything out, I want answers._

_But most importantly,_

_I want to stay in the same time as you._

_I want to be in the same space as you._

_I’ll walk slowly, right towards where you are._

Wonwoo’s steps stuttered. It reflected the way his heart falters because –

Chaeyeon is in front of Mingyu.

When Wonwoo finally decided to not be distant this time, he never knew he’d be staying this far distance to the scene of this. It’s just Mingyu and Chaeyeon, with no cameras around. And that makes him all the more on edge, uneasy, and afraid.

He can recognize the tension in the air; no one was saying anything at one point. But Chaeyeon’s expression wasn't fired up, if anything she had the same expression she had for expensive chocolates and liqueurs.

At the rush of emotions, the world seems to slow down.

One minute Mingyu was holding the door open, the next he was kissing Chaeyeon, his hand clasped gently into the back of her hair, pressing in softly.

Wonwoo clutched his tightening chest in the painful coil of emotions. He felt like _crying_.

After a few seconds,Mingyu pulled Chaeyeon inside his apartment without breaking the kiss – Wonwoo wasn’t so sure, tears are blurring his vision.

He walks away with heavy steps and heavy heart.

**_I’ve endured it well, tears are finally falling._ **

He didn’t know he’s at his breaking point until he needed to catch his breath. He can’t stop crying. His tears like a river of not good times, cold and endless. It consumes him. Yet his heart aches all the more to thoughts that he went to seasons with him, and walked the streets with him.Little by little, he was able to get to know Mingyu … and everything is crashing down on him.

_It's not going to be easy,_

_Maybe I have to let you go in vain._

No one supposedly wants hurricanes. But Wonwoo wanted every single moment of it even if it takes all of his reasons. After all, Mingyu was his beautiful day gone by.

_Because I tried my best,_

_Maybe that's why it's tiring._

He stopped breathlessly at this wing of the building with the greatest expanse of window colored by the sunset in the same hue of their promise.

_“It won’t be easy…”_

_“I know.”_

_“I might hurt you.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_“You might want to run away.”_

_“I won’t.”_

That was a piece of them in a mess of bed painted in this same color. And now, he’s half a heart. Wonwoo rubbed his eyes. He wanted to see this sunset. Like their story, it’s beautiful and it’s ending.

_I think this is the end. I have to accept it now._

* * *

The next day still holds a blur of emotions. Everyone had a short notice of Wonwoo’s departure. There’s no chance to say ‘goodbye’ when it’s the hardest to say. At age 19, he’s heading back to Japan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading! Have you heard the recommended spotify playlist from the boys of HipHop team? I'm telling you Fire on Fire by Sam Smith is in Mingyu's playlist and Breathe by Lauv is in Wonwoo's ----- aaaaaaa i'm sobbing C': Next updates will be back in PRESENT TIME.


	19. He deserves the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PRESENT TIME. Arrived at: Jeju-do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering that the 'PAST' have so many chapters that took long to update, it's understandable that some of you might be confused as to where the present left off --- chapter 6 was the last present time, if you'd like to recall. But I edited this chapter for the 'better', I hope.

**P R E S E N T**

Wonwoo had a healing time after the car accident, a whole week all to himself. Because of what happened, when the sasaengs followed him, to a point that made his car crashed to a tree. Well, that’s what they know.

All the while, it was the last attack of danger.

From getting that damn message,

_010-XXXXX:_

**_Why did you come back to Korea?_ **

To the black car that bumped his car off the road to crash into a tree. Fortunately, not heading directly at the dip of the track where there’s a high chance for it to tumble down and flip over.

Thinking back, this _healing time_ comes as a challenging week, needing to have a good sleeping routine so he can spend his mornings feeding his cat and strengthening his core with exercises. He needs to be physically fit when his life is probably – hopefully not – turning to an action drama.

If he needs to recover physically, he also got to recover from what Mingyu told him –

_“The Chief of police told me that the girl at the VIP, someone paid for her bail and that she’s now hiding. But they are doing their best. Also, Baekho, the club’s bouncer didn’t know how your name got on the list. We tried to ask the staffs but they were saying it’s from a call at one point and then they said it’s confidential.”_

_Wonwoo nods, “What’s the Good news?”_

_Mingyu showed the CCTV tape,_ _“I’ve already traced the girl. She is Jung Soojung, 32 years old, works in SCE for 4 years now, in the Sales department.” Mingyu creased his brows, “But she just got transferred to Jeju branch of SCE Broadcasting.”_

He needs to prepare himself for this trip to Jejudo. Because if there’s one thing he did best, it’s to make a mess of books in his living room where he can pick one to read on the floor under warm afternoons.

 **Comes Friday** when he needed to let his sister take PYU (cat) in her care. He didn’t know how long he will stay in Jeju.

The doctor (Seulgi) visited him herself. She said that he needs to eat more. Clearly, she got the wrong cat to take care of. But he’s not so worried, Irene is better at cats anyways.

So many things have changed from 7 years ago.

His sister and Irene got married in Guam. They had the paper works there and the big celebration here in Korea. The newlywed then went to Japan to greet their Dad Jeon. It’s another celebration for the family where Wonwoo can be present.

He can never understand the universe for it to write in the stars that he’d be at Gimpo Airport waiting for the man who broke his heart.

But time forged them to be more _mature_.

The tall one now crossing the streets exuding manliness enough to be on _mature_ roles in films Wonwoo can already make out. Make out not in the kissing way but, okay whatever.

“What? Do I look like Kim Tan from The Heirs or something?”

“Oh, not really,” Wonwoo muttered against the fabric of his black mask.

Mingyu heard it clear, but he’s smiling. Wonwoo is sure wearing a mask but it wasn’t covering the eyes that looked up at him. Ah, he needs to catch up. Wonwoo is already inside the white building.

Thirty minutes after they were informed of a delay in flights, Mingyu is huffing for the nth time. “I’m totally fine.”

“No one asked.”

Mingyu huffs again, “Well, you should.”

“Hah. I should have never come with you. Do you think this is some kind of a photoshoot?”

Mingyu just scoots a little away from the man with the dark tone of voice.

Wonwoo looked at him, sharply. “I want to remind you that someone’s after me. By not getting in disguise, you realize that you’re telling the world that we’re going out of town, right?”

“I- I’m sorry. I’ll –”

“Whatever.” Wonwoo walked away to get some drinks, leaving Mingyu looking like a kicked puppy.

He surely took his time for just two water bottles. He came back to Mingyu holding a baby on his lap and is talking to a cute guy who occupied Wonwoo’s seat.

“Hey, you must be Mingyu’s boyfriend?” Cute guy asked.

“What?” _the? fuck?_

“I need to go somewhere real quick, Wonwoo. Please take care of my baby real quick. Aigoo, I’m Baekyeol’s appa, Byun Baekhyun.”

 _He’s the dad?_ Wonwoo looked at the baby and noted the similarities, wow. “I…” He wasn’t able to reply for the man, who looks the same age as him, decided to walk away with a bright smile.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Wonwoo is now on his sit, eyeing the way Mingyu cooed at the 6-month-old Baekyeol on his lap.

“I’m making my baby happy. Look at him, Wonwoo.”

“I’m totally not happy.”

“Are you my baby?”

“YAH, you obviously know what I’m talking about. We’re not even friends but you told Baekhyun-shi that we’re…?”

“Boyfriends. Yeah, I know, can you calm down, you’re scaring the baby.” Mingyu worked his thighs to calm Baekyeol who’s threatening to cry.

Wonwoo sighed, guiltily. The baby did nothing wrong. He removed his mask and smiles at the loveliest human he’s ever seen today, “I’m sorry did I scare you, Baekyeol?”

Baekyeol blinks up at him and stretched his little arms out for Wonwoo.

“Ah, there there~ you look happier.” Wonwoo is now cradling Baekyeol in his arms. The child’s laugh is like sweet honey, it reminds him of his nephew. Missing the way Mingyu smoothly stretched his arm at the back of Wonwoo’s seat, inching to look closer.

**“Appa is back!!!”** Baekhyun chirps and takes his miniature version in his arms. He lets a taller man take the child from him, “Yehet. Chanyeol appa made it.”

“I’m Baekyeol’s appa, Park Chanyeol. Thank you for taking care of our child. I was running some errands for my boss and needed Baek’s help. It was the only way to catch this trip. Gladly, I made it for this family trip,” he rambled on, fondness on his face.

“Okay, that’s alright. I’m happy for you,” Mingyu comments.

Wonwoo nods, liking the warm atmosphere, but, “Uh, good thing you left his things here with us. _We_ changed Baekyeol’s diapers.”

“I did most of it~” Mingyu chimes.

“OMO! I’m sorry for causing trouble,” Baekhyun bowed, “I’m really grateful to both of you.”

After they bid their _goodbyes_ , the two totally heard Baekhyun gushing about them being a ‘kind couple’. They exchanged glances of disagreement. 

Then Wonwoo’s eyes lingered at the sight of the family, wanting to remember this day in ways that words can never be. He’s totally enamoured.

 _Life can be simple_.

But he can only wish to have it as peaceful as them. He yearns to turn back the time where he could withdraw himself from the limelight. But then again, so much have changed for the better, the society is much more accepting in these times than 7 years back.

**The plane ride wasn’t that thrilling.** They’re still bickering about having to disguise. In Mingyu’s defence, Wonwoo also took his mask off so he must not take all the blame if the media finds out about this.

Wonwoo can only conclude that they’re totally not compatible.

Peace initiates to Mingyu not really sulking but Wonwoo should be grateful to him? He made extra effort to lessen Wonwoo’s stress when he was taking his break. Mingyu managed to air the third episode and also pre-recorded two more episodes. That should mean they can take day offs in Jejudo for a week or two.

They are set to find danger.

“Does Seulgi noona know about this?”

“She doesn’t have to know, Mingyu.”

Mingyu knew better than negate. “How is she? and… Haechan?”

Wonwoo told him about Seulgi’s success in the medical field and also in love. Mingyu is happy about that but his heart aches for some reason. Maybe it’s the lost times, the broken past or just not having to see Haechan growing up.

**“What else do you need?”** The uniformed lady asked.

“He doesn’t like seafood. Thanks!”

“What do you think they’ll do with that information?” Wonwoo looked at the confused Flight attendant, poor her.

“They’ll manage to not get their floors with spits from you.”

“You’re embarrassing me. I don’t – ” Wonwoo acts like he’s _spitting_.

Mingyu thinks of cute alpacas and they found themselves laughing.

This is how it is, right? After they laughed about something, there’s that change of expression – like they weren’t supposed to have fun conversations like this. So it was a cue for them to stop pretending like the past is not haunting.

Wonwoo had a blank expression and didn’t even bother to say he’s going to sleep, he just moved to a position close to that. Mingyu grins, knowingly.

The flight went on clouds of awkwardness every now and then. Mingyu got curious if the other remembers,

_“If there’s something that you CAN'T trust me at this moment, it’s to say that you don’t look so fucking beautiful right now and I don’t want to kiss you.”_

_It was steady and calculated…the kiss._

Did Wonwoo thinks about it still, like how it bothers Mingyu? Why did he even do that in the first place? Hold yourself back Kim Mingyu, you hate him.

Mingyu goes on with the mock in expressions at the littlest of fight in their exchange of words; to more of Wonwoo’s blank expressions and excuses of sleep.

Wonwoo is wiser now, stronger even – that’s why maybe the universe lets them travel together to Jejudo.

**Arrived at: JEJU-DO.**

Jeju Island is about the cool toned ocean blue and groves of oranges. Seoul is colder in these early winter days. But when Busan is possibly crowded in this time; that is not the case here. Jejudo is a degree warmer, a mild weather during much of the year.

_It’s peaceful today._

Wonwoo relaxed when he saw Seungkwan’s bright smile. The said man welcomed them to his hometown with the warmest of hugs. He’s also relieved that there are no paparazzi around.

Seungkwan had a driver with him, the one to take care of their things and their safe ride to Boo’s guesthouse. Seungkwan is very excited for this two hour ride. Feeling obligated to be today’s tour guide.

 _The low saturation, brightened by oranges, is almost calming._ Wonwoo finds it lulling him off to sleep.

Mingyu watched the other’s uncomfortable position. Sleepy Jeonunu is nodding at the air seemingly at the right beats of unheard music. With a dismayed expression, he shifts closer to his space. He supported Wonwoo’s head to rest on his shouder. Wonwoo lets him. Mingyu was sure he heard a small whine and he stared for a few seconds. He then bites his lips trying to control his emotions opting to listen to Seungkwan.

Seungkwan looked behind, dubiously.

“What?” Mingyu mouthed.

Mingyu’s hand is now on Wonwoo’s forehead, almost covering his eyes. His mother used to do that and he remembers how warm it was. Also, the latter keeps sliding off his shoulder so he needed to steady him, that’s why.

“Nothing,” Seungkwan said with a teasing smile.

**Wonwoo takes in the salty night air.** They arrived with the stars already crowding the evening sky. He’s suddenly curious if it’s common to have houses by the beach here like Boo Seungkwan’s Guesthouse. He’d want to have his own house like this one, he can almost picture it. His gaze lands on Mingyu.

He remembered his youth with him, like he’s at the sea on a sunny day, until he wasn’t.

He followed Seungkwan inside without a word.

“It’s a big guesthouse, Seungkwan.” There is awe in his tone. Wonwoo scanned the wooden interior against the furnishings in a stretch of white and beige. It’s homey.

“My lovely Mrs. Jwa decorated everything. She’s the best. She also made sure we have the perfect dinner tonight.”

“Thank you. Where is your mother? We should properly greet her.”

“She’s kind of busy with the flower shop, having strategies in this November times. But she’ll come by sooner or later. Help yourselves.”

After dinner, Mingyu and Seungkwan packed some food for a neighbour that Seungkwan wanted to greet. Then, we have Wonwoo who decided to stay in his room.

“Yah, aren’t we going to room together?”

“Excuse me?”

Mingyu shifts his gaze, “Don’t get the wrong idea.” _Because you’re in danger, that’s the reason I thought about such._

Wonwoo stared at him coldly, only softening when he turned to Seungkwan, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He proceeded upstairs, to a room _different_ from Mingyu.

There’s so much in store for tomorrow. One of which, is to find a person dangerous. But then again, he can hear the gentle waves in the distance, harmlessly hitting beds of rocks, to seemingly whisper that better days are coming.

* * *

**It’s not rare to be waiting for the break of dawn.** What’s rare is that Mingyu is also watching it unfold to the cold-colored ocean while he patiently sits on the sand. He’s holding one of the books he found in the guesthouse. The chill wind flipped pages the same way it brushed his fringe away.

And it stopped to a page, he found himself reading.

_I admit,  
I was afraid to love.  
Not just love,  
But to love him.  
For he was a stunning  
mystery. He carried things  
deep inside him that no one  
has yet to understand,  
And I,  
I was afraid to fail,  
like the others. _

  
He was the ocean  
And I was just a boy  
who loved the waves  
but was completely  
terrified to  
swim.

_-Christopher Poindexter_

Mingyu didn’t expect the book to be snatched away from him by the man who’s darting him a weird look. A small pout left as quickly as it formed his lips; he focused at the ocean instead as Seungkwan sits beside him.

“You shouldn’t read things like this,” Seungkwan scowled, also staring at the not so calm November waves.

“Why?” Mingyu asked, “Should I read comics instead?”

“No, I was going to say… we both know you only think of one person when you read stuff like this. And it makes you sad.”

“You should’ve known that, 7 years ago,” Mingyu said with a sad smile, missing the way Seungkwan guiltily stares at him.

Sound of waves becomes louder at the silence that ensured between them.

“I feel so defeated sometimes,” Mingyu breaks it. “Because I can only love him with my pieces. For that is all I am; a masquerade of something whole, a collection of a thousand, broken pieces. That is all I will ever be. And because of that, I know that I am not enough for him. He deserves the sea and I, I can only give him a grain of salt.”

“Mingyu… I’m sor–”

“I read that.”

“Huh?”

“What I said is from that book.”

Seungkwan looks at the book of _poems_ he’s holding, “Oh.” There’s a pang in his heart and he didn’t know what to say.

“I’m happy for you and Sol.”

Seungkwan coughs, sheepishly blushing, “If… If I didn’t tell him what I feel, he’d never do the same.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yah! Kim Mingyu. Then, it’s not too late!”

“Everything is not what it seems. I can smile at him and forget everything that happened in a mature way. That’s what I thought. Yet it still hurts that we can’t be pieced back together like before.”

Mingyu can still hear their promise like it was just yesterday.

_“It won’t be easy…”_

_“I know.”_

_“I might hurt you.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_“You might want to run away.”_

_“I won’t.”_

How Wonwoo breaks his promise like it was just yesterday.

“He left me, Seungkwan. When he told me he won’t.”

“I…see.” Seungkwan sighed, there’s no hope. “You know the others are on their way here, right? They found out that you’re with Wonwoo. Aye, it wasn’t me. Hansol told Chan.”

“WHAT…?! OH MY GOD.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yehet, we're back in the present. Thank you for reading!!! I appreciate the response.  
> It's SVT comeback! Left n Right <3 I should do fast updates so I can make a new fic again haha aigoo.


	20. Still can't relax

** P R E S E N T  **

** Everyone started arriving at 8AM ** . Jeonghan was the first one, with an unsubtle stomp at Mingyu’s feet and an angelic, “Sorry.” You’re fooled if you believed what this swindler says. 

Jun came second, who hugged everyone except Mingyu. Mingyu got hugs from Soonyoung and Chan though. His puppy smile is back.

Seungcheol had a stern face when he entered, but there’s a bottle of wine in his hand and it says we’re going to celebrate. Or that’s what Mingyu hoped it meant. Jihoon called that he’s going to come too, but he’s going to be late.

“Jihoon hyung and Seungcheol hyung is fighting that’s why this hyung will have that drink all to himself,” Chan informed rather loudly, crushing Mingyu’s hope.

“Okay, where’s your boyfriend?” Mingyu asks the guesthouse owner.

Seungkwan smiles coyly, “He’ll take the flight in Incheon, I’ll tell him to message Jihoon so they can go together.”

“Tell him to text Minghao, too. He’s here in Korea right now. The three of them can fly here together,” said Seungcheol, giving everyone a pleasant surprise.

The roaring of engine interrupts the surge of talk. There’s a truck outside, the landmark of ocean spreads in the background. They recognized the man at the steering wheel, Hong Jisoo. Well, the brand on the truck gave out the identity anyways, bold letters of ‘COFFEESHUA’ plastered red under the morning sun.

The group crowded outside. His name was called, “JISOO!!!”  The said gentleman smashed a not so gentle honk as a reply.

Soonyoung, amazed at the design, went around the truck only to face a man familiar. All chiselled and sharp like how he remembered him. The man aged so fine. Soonyoung got conscious because everyone still calls him baby-face while this man on the other hand, is such a _daddy_ material, he coughs, “Seokmin.”

“Soonyoung,” _daddy_ material said.

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

Chan rounded to follow his hyung only to cage him away from the unexpected guest, Lee Seokmin. “You’re here, too.” He managed to say. He observed Soonyoung who’s unexpectedly fine. How can his Soonyoung hyung still smile at Seokmin when he’s the reason he cries?

Seokmin just nods and flashed a smile, “Come, there’s a one year supply of coffee inside the truck.”

Soonyoung finds it funny, but he can’t move in his spot. He watched the others help carry boxes out and into the guesthouse. This is just stupid, but he’s still crushing on Seokmin after all this years. Damn it.

“How are we going to decide roommates?” Mingyu asked shifting on the couch, lips downing on the straw to his coffee. Everyone’s holding their own coffees as they settled at the living room.

Seungkwan claps to get attention, “Okay, so one room for me and Hansol, another for Seungcheol and Jihoon. Mingyu and Wonwoo have _separate_ rooms. Yes, Jun you like that idea but no you’re not going to be Wonwoo’s roommate. We’ll decide by rock-paper-scissors. If you win, you got to pick a room without knowing whose room that is. Got it? The rooms here in the first floor are taken already.”

Afternoon came quickly with the bunch busy with unpacking stuffs.

“Hi Seokmin,” Wonwoo greets. He’ll be sharing the room with him. He opens the blinds and let the warm lights enter the room.

“Hello, Wonwoo.” Seokmin stopped arranging, he offered a smile.

Wonwoo smiled back, “Hey, you should cook for us some time? I recommended your restaurant to the staffs of y’know _our show_ ,” the last words he drawled out softly.

“Y-You did?”

“Yeah.”

Seokmin is nervous because he’s done some terrible things in the past. Jeonghan once informed him that everyone knew of what he did to Wonwoo. Even Wonwoo knew about it. He suddenly feels embarrassed to even share a room with such person. “Thanks,” the word suddenly meant many things for Seokmin, one of which is because Wonwoo didn’t plant anger in his heart. All the more regret he gets, because at the back of his head, he always knew Wonwoo is this kind of person. It was a big reason that he did those terrible things. He admits it now, Seokmin took advange of it back in the past.

It is already late afternoon, Mingyu and Wonwoo are still in the guesthouse. Unfortunately, they won’t be searching for danger today. Of course, they still can’t relax at the terrace of the second floor.

Wonwoo looks down sadly as Mingyu explained that they need to wait for their managers before they can take actions. Apparently, there were rules about contacting the said transferred employee who they needed to talk to.

“Right, everyone didn’t want to get involved with this drama.”

“I’m still here, Jeonunu.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“Not the point.”

They both looked at the direction where Jeonghan is observing them like a hawk. Beside Jeonghan is Soonyoung who’s whispering something to him.

“You don’t want to tell them yet?”

“What? That someone’s questioning why I came back to Korea while trying to get me killed? And everyone’s gathered here like this, only to get themselves into trouble too. No thanks.”

“I… I told Seungkwan, I’m sorry, because we’re staying here and he was–”

“It’s okay, Mingyu. I know.” Wonwoo _chuckled_.

At the corner of their eyes they most probably saw Jeonghan relaxing and Soonyoung’s hold on him loosened.

Wonwoo continued, “Seungkwan is not very subtle with his questions.”

“We should probably do something about them?” Mingyu weirdly looks at two in quite distance.

“We should.”

** Hasol, Jihoon and Minghao arrived at 8pm ** . Just in time for dinner. Everyone waited for them especially at the variety of Chinese foods that Minghao brought with him.

“What’s this?” Wonwoo bites on a soft white, chomping at the delicious mix of pork inside.

“Baozi,” Seungcheol answered.

Wonwoo looked at the older across the table, grinning playfully at him. He’s still questioning if Seungcheol should be taken seriously at times like this. Gratefully, Jun sits beside him to tell him about Xiaolongbao and to fill up his bowl with Wonton soup. Missing the way Mingyu darkly eyed the two.

“Hey, there are foods that’s only for Wonwoo,” Jihoon said.

Minghao agreed, “Yeah, because he’s picky. Wonwoo hyung, it sounded harsh but it’s especially for you.”

“Is it because Wonwoo doesn’t eat seafoods?” Jeonghan quips, earning a nod from Minghao.

“It’s gone?” Jihoon asked.

“It’s okay. Jun here knows what foods to get,” Wonwoo said with a smile.

Mingyu coughs and leans in to his right to slyly mutter, “He wants to get you, not the food.”

Wonwoo was trying hard to ignore the man at his left, but that’s it. He turned to Mingyu while holding back a scowl and coughing a small, "fuck off."

Half an hour later, Chan is on the floor, curled up in a fetal position, complaining about stomach ache. Soonyoung informed that the youngest had been back and forth to the comfort room. In the rush of adrenaline, Chan is inside Seungkwan’s car. They drove to the nearest hospital with Hansol, Soonyoung, Jun and Minghao.

** “NO DON’T TOUCH ME,”  ** Wonwoo growled, his eyes are dark and his stance is cold, “You’re a giant trash, Kim Mingyu!”

“Wow, what do you call yourself then, Jeon Wonwoo?”

“Oh, I’m not as trashy as you.”

“I don’t see that.”

“Because you’re a beanpole with no brain.”

“Okay, that’s enough. Come with me,” Mingyu grabs Wonwoo’s wrist and drags him somewhere.

Jihoon watched the two bickering all the way up the stairs, “What the fuck happened to those two?”

Seokmin shrugged, “They had a trashtalk.”

“Okay? So should I inform Seungcheol? Or Jeonghan?”

“No, let them be.”

** “So that worked.”  ** Wonwoo stated. They’re now at the room he shares with Seokmin.

“Wow, as expected of Actor Jeon.”

“You did well yourself.”

“You were seriously pouring your heart out there though, weren’t you?”

Wonwoo nods before he grins playfully at Mingyu’s dejected face. As an actor, enthusiasm is evident in his voice, “This will be our new way of getting each other to ourselves?”

“Getting each other to – no, we’ll talk outside and not let them notice or whatever. This is not going to happen again.” _Like I’d let you pour your heart out like that again, nope._

“Oh, okay. So what do you want to talk about?”

Mingyu thinned his lips. He knows it’s early to say this, “I think the one setting you up is in this house.”

“WHAT?” Wonwoo laughs and quickly it falters, “Oh, you’re serious?”

“I am.”

“I… Mingyu, do you hear what you’re saying? Do you seriously believe that one of our friends want to kill me?”

“I didn’t say it like that but…?”

“No. I don’t think so.” Wonwoo suddenly felt the need to sit on his bed. He looks up at Mingyu whose face is contorted into a mess of thinking, “Stop entertaining that idea, okay?”

“Okay. I’m probably thinking too much. I’ll head down stairs. You… be careful.”

Wonwoo is left in his room pondering on Mingyu’s words and their situation. Chan is in the hospital and a while ago…

_ “Hey, there are foods that’s only for Wonwoo,” Jihoon said. _

_ Minghao agreed, “Yeah, because he’s picky. Wonwoo hyung, it sounded harsh but it’s especially for you.” _

* * *

Lee Chan is back in the guesthouse the next day. He’s taking IV drips and he’s still having symptoms of gastroenteritis. “Wonwoo hyung, it’s okay. I’m fine. You can stop reading books for me like I’m a baby. Please.”

“But can I read you another one? Last one? Hyung only wants you to recover faster.”

“By what? Aigoo. I’m fine, really.”

“Aye, can’t you let Wonwoo read to you?” Jeonghan asks gently. “You’re still a baby.”

“Ah, that again,” Chan whines. 

Mingyu was in his room that afternoon. At the other bed lies his roommate, Soonyoung, who’s already planning their trip around Jeju. He also needs to start planning things, so when Soonyoung went out, he called his manager to ask for the older to get here quickly.

“But how about the conditions? Teukie hyung, you have to have them with you.”

_ “Mingyu, if I go back now to get those, I will be taking the trip tomorrow, is that okay?” _

“Can you talk to Kahi noona? Maybe she can – ”

Soonyoung bolts back into the room shouting, “ **KIM MINGYU!!!** ” Panic is plastered on his face and in his words, “ **FIRE! THERE’S FIRE!!!** ”

Mingyu dropped his phone. He’s so nervous; it’s suddenly hard to swallow. He stands up with thoughts of Wonwoo. But his steps stuttered. There’s something wrong. What if he’s right? What if the one setting Wonwoo up is in this house…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! **Breaking news** : Wonwoo spilled that his new roommate is Mingyu. Everyone got their own room except them *cries in all languages* This is not a Roommate AU anymore. Meanie nation, we're winning!
> 
> ** Stream Left & Right **


	21. At the end of the road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the chapters will be in the present unless otherwise stated. <3

** It’s just Jeonghan trying to blast off the kitchen to another dimension.  ** The oven exploded and caught fire to a whirlwind amount from having a bulb erupt near it. Mingyu managed to wet a towel to kill the fire. Soonyoung got a fire extinguisher to end them.

Jeonghan is smiling nervously. “Aye! Soonyoung saw everything, it wasn’t just me.”

“Who else?” Soonyoung asked.

“You. It was you too, stupid.” Jeonghan retorts. “WAH You shouldn’t have talked to me.”

“But you came to me? Yah, you told me to search about green tea! Then, it’s my fault too?”

Jeonghan covered his mouth in fake disbelief, “You really did talk to me.” 

Mingyu sighed loudly, “Okay, you two, get out. I’ll clean this mess.”

Mingyu was about to rest but he decided to take a short route to Chan’s room to check on him. Then he overheard the maknae cheering up Minghao who’s been feeling sorry, “No, it wasn’t the Chinese food, the doctor said it’s from _dehydration_.”

Of course, there’s just no way. No one in this house is setting up Wonwoo in danger.

He’s a fool to think so.

Bedtime with the lights ON, Soonyoung is still getting used to this, what would you expect if your roommate is Kim Mingyu. Anyways, he is still smiling in awe. Mingyu looked nothing like a giant six feet puppy with the way he’s curve to a pillow. He missed seeing him in his tiny moments. “What’s so wrong about messaging him? You didn’t talk all night.”

“We also didn’t talk all day.” Mingyu said, sighing loudly. The last time he talked with Wonwoo, they agreed to wait for their manager’s response. There’s no other reason to talk but, “Okay.” He sent it.

**M:** Hey, I’m sorry we haven’t found her yet.

**Jeonunu:** It’s not your fault.  Manager-nim emailed me a copy of the rules, btw.

**M:** WHAT? I can’t contact my manager.  Do you want to discuss it now?  We can talk outside.

Mingyu waited for a reply. He’s excited to plan this out. He seriously wanted to help him, that’s it. And he also wanted to see him, that’s it. To talk to him too, okay, there’s that.

Aren’t everyone reminded of _Hometeen_ though? They do, right? They just don’t want to bring it up, he felt like. To have a chance like this again… it makes him want to take care of Wonwoo _again_. It just hits him silently, but he _always wants to_. It’s just Wonwoo who makes him ‘feel’ this.

** Jeonunu:  ** _No_. I’ll email you a copy. We’ll talk tomorrow.

**M:** Okay. Good night.

Mingyu understands. They are pieces that can’t be put back together.

He prepared his laptop while Soonyoung talks about sunflower and Seokmin being one and the same. His roommate still has energy like this, radiant. Mingyu can’t understand how. But it’s great! Mingyu _knew very well_ that talking with someone to _ease_ whatever you've caged up in the heart is better than drowning yourself in alcohol. 

* * *

“ **I can’t believe they let us go without a fight.** ” Wonwoo glanced sideways. He can see Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung – BookSeokSoon under a relaxing Jeju morning – waving them goodbye. Mingyu is driving them to the Jeju branch of SCE Broadcasting.

This day is the day _they'll_ get that person.

“It’s too early to say that. Have you seen the way Jeonghan looked at me? I’m not really compatible with Jeonghan,” Mingyu said, eyes on the road. They’re using Seungkwan’s navy car. “But we’re getting along fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he makes me clean stuffs for him.”

“Oh, he’s just playing with you.”

Mingyu easily sulks; they’re still getting along so, “Whatever that means. How about your roommate? Is Seokmin being an ass?”

“Oh, not really. He’s been…acting weird. He’s making lame jokes, it wasn’t his character.” 

“Well, aren’t you both getting along then?”

“What do you mean?” Wonwoo sneers.

“Isn’t lame jokes your character?” Mingyu laughs, “Yah, don’t hit me. I’m driving here.” He eyed over the other to make sure he’s also wearing his seatbelt. 

They decided to open their side windows. Wonwoo propped his elbow as a pillow. He lets the tingly air tousle his hair, watching this narrow side of the road overlooking a canvass of endless blue sea.  Sooner, it will be nothing but a wide buzzling street. So for now, he lets himself melt at the scenery.

How can he talk to Mingyu, without remembering what the man did to him? It’s a matter of, ‘until when’? 

_ Because when I’m with him, I can’t help but think about the pains of the world. Oh, how can you think about pain without feeling it? _

He’s still suffering, silently.

Tears are welling up, escaping only one eye and he lets it dry on his skin. He’s an actor, maybe that's the reason that he cries often when he's at this age. But being an actor also hides this pathetic version of himself.

Being with Mingyu today, as how the stars have written it, makes him question the decisions he made. Everything will affect his future, undoubtedly. It boils down to the feeling that at the _end of this road_ , he’s going to find himself breaking down. Mingyu made it happen once, Wonwoo won’t let it happen again.

“Stop the car.”

Mingyu safely did without questions.

Wonwoo walked to the greenery, a field of white wildflowers until he’s stepping on rocks. The spectacular rock formation with a trail that lengthens to meet the waves, there he settled.

“Why are you getting involved into this?”

“Wonwoo… I care about you.”

“Please, don’t. I…don’t want to get involved with you.”

Mingyu didn’t know what to say. He looked ahead to the line where the mountains meet the sea. He’d do the same for others. That’s what he thought. Actually, he knew he wouldn’t be invested with others as much as this. Because the subject is this male beside him, Wonwoo; he’s weak for that subject.

Wonwoo caught Mingyu looking at him. Oh, how can he not remember Mingyu’s words –

_ “Can you stop overthinking? Stop hurting yourself like that.” _

Mingyu must be judging him again, huh? Oh, how the November air is cold, or is it just the atmosphere they create?

_ This isn’t a film of sad romance. _

_ It’s just sad, no romance. _

“Mingyu, you can stop now. This will be the last time we talk about this.” Wonwoo walked back with the words, “I’m a grown man. I can handle this on my own.”

It was a realization, having to watch Wonwoo’s retreating back for how many times? Mingyu should count this in exact numbers, he is sure he didn’t get a notice when Wonwoo left him the first time. That first time was his hardest downfall; they said you can be numb if it goes on, again and again… but he still didn’t want this image.

He wants to stop _him_ this time.

He wants the time to just stop.

Yet, he’s the one remaining still,

Remembering words never forgotten,

_ “Because I love you, that’s why I want to get involved with you,” Wonwoo said. _

_ The wind carries a breeze warm, “I thought this was all for Haechan’s sake. But the truth is, I wanted to stay by your side.” _

Mingyu wouldn’t forget the time Wonwoo confessed. He closed his eyes because damn he felt like crying. He can fucking relate to Wonwoo’s words now. He fucking knows the feeling. And he realized the heaviness of what Wonwoo told him today, about not wanting to get involved with him.

_ Is this it? Do I pursue him again? Action is louder than voice, right? _ _It should be easy now?_

_ I always go back to the times when Wonwoo had the eyes that made me know I am loved. Wonwoo knew it won’t be easy, but he never got mad. He was patient with me until he ran away. Yet even in the darkest times of my life, I knew Wonwoo filled up my other half. He’s too precious to just leave in the past. _

** The car ride was silent. ** Wonwoo just want to quickly end this day finding the lead villain. Mingyu just don’t want to plan things out because it hits him that this is the last time, he doesn’t want that.

Their gate pass are already waiting for them when they arrived at SCE. They were informed that Kahi verified their names and the employees already prepared their shared artists’ room. That’s where they planned everything out while having their lunch.

** Their target was a neon pink room. **

“Okay. Show them what you’re best at,” Mingyu said as a cue.

Wonwoo puts on his best _worried face_ , getting the attention of the neon pink room’s security guard, “Sir, there’s a snake! Please, help me find my son.”

Mingyu thinks that just doesn’t match?

“Wait, calm down. What happened? Where is the snake.”

“This way,” Wonwoo rushed to a route away from the sight of other security personnel. He made sure that he sees Mingyu enter the neon pink room before he shifts to the left wing.

And Mingyu did.

Mingyu knows the person sitting on a pink swivel chair. And that’s not Jung Soojung. “Victoria?” The said name is also displayed on the table as the _Director of Sales Department._

She gasped at the pleasant surprise, “Kim Mingyu!”

Victoria is a very loud persona. She’s _loud_ in her singing and acting abilities. She wears a kind of _loud_ confidence. When Mingyu was still new in the limelight, she was vocal about her admiration for him. She says it in the television and radios. She even did such drastic measures as to take on jobs of others just to talk with Mingyu.

“Noona, I can’t believe you took someone else’s job again.” Mingyu said already comfortable catching up with her. He remembers rejecting her multiple times but they’re _quite_ close. Almost everyone is friends with her, that’s why she gets away with anything.

Victoria eyed the way Mingyu twists his mouth handsomely, “I love hearing you call me noona. Anyways, this is a different case. Krystal told me to take this job herself.” Should she go back to her ways? She’s all the more thirsting over Mingyu now, just look at the man. He’d look good in all types of clothes and he’d look better without. _I think I’ll get you this time._

“Krystal?”

“Yeah, Krystal. That’s Soojung’s nickname. Do you still know my full name, Mingyu dear? You know Victoria is a stage name.”

“Wu Qian?”

Victoria rolls her eyes, “No, it’s ‘Song’. That’s my surname. Well, you got half of it right.”

Mingyu leans forward, “What happened? Why did she give her job to you?” He wanted to ask why she took it when she’s already _very_ popular and not in the need of part-time jobs. But he knew she’ll make it all about her, which is not important right now.

“Um, too bad you forgot my full name. I could’ve told you why.”

“Aye. C’mon, tell me.” Mingyu flashed a smile that he knew would seal the deal.

“I’m sorry it’s confidential, but we can talk in my place if you want.”

“Are you serious?”

Wonwoo barged in to Mingyu… laughing with the villain? Mingyu then ushered them out after calming him with a whisper, “She’s not Soojung.” Wonwoo didn’t miss the way ‘Victoria’ – he saw the name displayed on the table – eyed him from head to toe.

** They are heading back to Boo’s guesthouse.  ** But why did Mingyu park the car to a place unfamiliar. “ **Bijarim Forest**?” The signage, Wonwoo reads.

After getting tickets at the bright orange stall, side by side, they walked in the said natural monument. Wonwoo didn’t know where to look, everything is fascinating. “Are you sure about this?” 

“I heard about the maze parks from Seungkwan but… that’s tiring and dangerous. A while ago, I asked for recommendations from Victoria noona. I just want you to breathe fresh air, that’s it. They close at five, so we still have an hour, more or less.”

Wonwoo is lost for words. Why is Mingyu getting these kinds of ideas? He’s even making him feel precious with the way he looks at him, Wonwoo had to look away.

“Oh, are you familiar with the golden hour? I used to make sure to have breaks at ‘golden hours’, back in Japan. I appreciated it during my walking-breaks. After that, I just open the blinds in my room – when I can – at these times. I got to take a longer look at trees having their ‘golden hour’ more than taking a selca with it as what this generation preferred.”

Mingyu hummed, “I can see that.” He got to know a part of Wonwoo when the man was in Japan. Looks like he liked it there, the way he talked heartily about it.

Ancient nutmeg trees tangled above them enough for the golden hour to break through the cracks. It lights up the path ahead of them, enchantingly. It even accentuates the wildflowers and fallen leaves that crunch beneath their feet.

Mingyu finds himself loving everything that Wonwoo loves. Just like in the past, Wonwoo makes it easy to love.

He watched Wonwoo twirl about, gazing up at the canopy. Looking up, he mimics it with a smile, searching for the birds that sing sweetly.

“It looks like a scene in fairytales. I’m sure Winnie the Pooh would love this place y’know.”

Mingyu smoothly paced with Wonwoo’s walk. Again, he thinks that just doesn’t match? “But Winnie the Pooh is not a fairy?”

“Do you seriously think that only fairies are in fairytales?”

“No~oope. But why do they call it fairytales then? That’s dumb. And just like, what type of bear is Pooh bear? He’s so, I don’t know, yellow?” Mingyu laughs as ridiculous as their topic.

“I’ll probably research everything when we get back,” Wonwoo said, calmly. After a few seconds, “Thank you, Mingyu.”

“For what?”

“For today and… manager-nim told me about the extra time you took when I was on a break. She said you managed to pre-record two more episodes, not including the already aired one. That’s uh very nice of you.”

“It’s okay.”

Wonwoo bites down on his bottom lip. He knew that Mingyu is looking forward to catching the villain with him. But getting involved in a mess like this, when their relationship can’t even be defined, it’s just not going to work. “Today is our last day being...”

“Partners?”

“Oh, not really partners… but getting in this mess y'know...”

“I get it.” Mingyu stated. “Just for this last time, _we_... we found out that Soojung, also known as Krystal, is not in SCE anymore. She took the job here, being promoted as the sales director. But, she quit and gave it to Victoria.”

“So I should find out her reason for quitting the job. And where she’s currently at... there’s really so much to know.”

“You should also know that, there will be a ball this Saturday for the 25th anniversary of SCE Jeju. Victoria noona informed me earlier but we’ll probably get a notice sooner or later. We’re going to be invited that’s for sure.”

“Oh, okay.”


	22. Affected.

It’s the _25 th anniversary_ of SCE Broadcasting Company – Jeju branch. It holds luxurious annual balls that the public always looks forward to. The anticipation doubles this time around with top artists extruding flashiness in the same color of this _silver_ occasion.

**‘Actor Jeon Wonwoo, dashing in tonight’s anniversary ball, is finally outing as Bisexual?’**

**‘Jeon Wonwoo’s date is none other than the Chinese model-turned-actor Wen Junhui’**

**‘Actors in love: Wonwoo and Jun dating? Find out!’**

The keywords trending on Naver links to these articles! Chan made sure to inform his friends. Mingyu downed on hard liquor, witnessing the scene that made those articles possible. He watched the two flirt in front of the press people. Junhui’s hand that easily rests at Wonwoo’s lower back, slides to the latter’s waist. Wonwoo leans in to whisper, smiling gorgeous when he faced back the glitter of camera works.

What? They must be the _partners_ now, huh. True enough, Mingyu had his last day of helping the man in danger. They probably talked about it that’s why they arrived late? Just look at Wonwoo getting happy that Jun is the one who’s going to protect him now.

_Why do I have to take care of him? I also have a life to take care of._

Mingyu puts down a now empty glass, eyes searching for someone. He spots her in her best dress. A refill of drink and he’ll definitely swept Victoria off her feet.

“Thank you for letting me borrow your shoes, Jun. She calls herself a ‘fan’ when she _deliberately_ poured the milk on my shoe.” Wonwoo said, calmly, as they entered the event hall. His friends got here by the coaster van of the company. Curse him because he forgot something. It’s the reason he needed to let them leave before him. His luck is not found, the coasters were followed by the group of fans that are already waiting for him outside. Fortunately, Jun was still there to remind him not to be so harsh, they were _fans_. He really needs Jun in his life. The girls only got a scolding from him but one of them poured milk on his shoe, “What a hassle.”

“Alright, cheer up now. What’s important is that your Lanvin isn’t harmed.”

“You’re making so much sense.”

“That's right, you look flawless, from head to toe.”

Wonwoo smiles at the way Jun winked at him, already used to it. He lets the man take his hand as they find their friends. They walked by Mingyu who’s talking with a girl he recognized as the lady back in that office, Victoria. He shared a brief eye contact with him. They were bound to ignore each other.

Already surrounded with the bunch, Wonwoo tilts his head to a direction. Mingyu was laughing at something that Victoria said. _She’s funny, I see._ Wonwoo sipped at his glass of wine. He feels strange; he can’t help but be _aware_ of the two.

**The program started** . Soonyoung was careful not to be obvious but he’s really looking at Seokmin who _satisfyingly_ blocked his view of the stage. They’re seated at a round table and the attractive distraction is sitting across him.

Chan stretched his arms and without a doubt hits Soonyoung at the head, a fake concern, “Ah, I’m sorry.”

Soonyoung rubs at the spot, darting a look at the youngest.

“Get yourself together, hyung. You’re a strong independent man who doesn’t need a man.”

“Shut up.”

“Wae? You always say that when you’re drunk.” Chan shakes with laughter.

Soonyoung is NOT going to drink alcohol tonight, that’s for sure.

Mingyu is seated with some of the Company directors, because beside him is Victoria. But he can see that Jun and Wonwoo are also at a table different. The two are laughing with good looking actors, one of which has his arm at Wonwoo’s chair. He even touched Wonwoo’s hair, the latter leans to the touch… _Is he drunk?_

“Are you okay?” Victoria asks.

“Yeah,” Mingyu straightens up, focusing back at the girl, “So, Krystal just worked for two weeks then she quitted?”

“Yes, she opened her own restaurant.”

Mingyu’s wide-eyes were reflected by Victoria’s for a different reason: _her name was called on the stage to receive an award_. Mingyu can’t ask further questions, needing to escort her in front of everyone.

Wonwoo sneers at the way Mingyu smiled at the stage. _Look at him, is he the one going to receive the award? Why is he smiling so much._ Oh, right, Victoria is funny and also got a big award. But good for her, she deserves that.

_Who am I kidding? I'm not really annoyed, more like... getting affected when I shouldn't be._

He's kind of weary but relieved at the same time, having to watch Mingyu in his heart’s content. Since his excuse would be – _everyone else’s_ attention is also focused on that princely presence that towers everyone on that stage. As expected, Mingyu still gets all the excellent flatteries in life without difficulty. And Wonwoo finds himself admiring the strikingly attractive giant from afar.

“Another drink?”

Wonwoo nods eagerly, “Thanks, Yunho sunbaenim.”

Jung Yunho colored the glass in maroon, filling it up. He followed Wonwoo’s gaze, at the stage to the man he recognized as the famous chef. _Isn’t he the one who’s in a show with Wonwoo?_ He watched Wonwoo’s side profile; even the male’s expressions are elegant. Yunho had been having the hots for the elegant male since they met in the agency. He was already an established actor in Japan back then, while Wonwoo was just starting his career. Yunho’s career sky rocketed since then. He smirked. He doesn’t really see Mingyu as a competition. If there’s one thing, he’s kind of glad. He’s catching Wonwoo in these obvious moments. He’s confident he’ll take him so good, now that he knows his hoobae likes men.

 _Ah, this is too much?_ Wonwoo finally saw his glass full. With the way his sunbae looks at him, he can’t possibly complain.

The awarding ensures at the stage, but Seokmin is watching Soonyoung’s drink getting taken away by Chan for the third time now. He leans forward, “Don’t you want a drink?”

“Ha Ha Ha! No, I quit drinking.”

“Really? You used to be so good at this.”

Soonyoung bows his head, _calm down_! _Seokmin only remembered that I’m good at… Why…? He noticed that? He noticed ME in the past? What should I do?_ He feels hot all of a sudden, stammering, “I need to go over there, _Jihoon_ just called me, bye.”

Jihoon takes Soonyoung’s sit as he watched the man went further away, “Hi losers. What’s up with him?”

Seokmin just chuckled, “He’s cute.”

**The awarding ceremony is done.** It’s time to mingle with everyone at their heart’s content. Mingyu personally went to the kitchen to request for a particular platter. It’s the _Chef_ side of him that wanted it to be perfect for the directors. Back to the event, another side of him decided to just watch everyone in silver glamour.

He was able to stop the guy who’s supposed to protect Wonwoo, Moon Junhui. “Yah! Where’s Wonwoo? Why did you leave him?”

Jun takes off Mingyu’s hand with a raised brow, flattening down his designer clothes with a few pats, “He’s with Yunho.”

Mingyu saw their subjects talking to people, hopping from one table to another, “Why are they acting like newlyweds wanting to take pictures at every table?”

“What are you talking about? Yunho is Wonwoo’s sunbaenim at the same Acting Agency in Japan. The man is _influential enough_ to introduce Wonwoo to everyone here.”

“Influential enough my ass. Why do you trust so easily? If you can’t look out for him…”

Jun dauntingly twists his mouth at the hang of words, “What can you do? He doesn’t want to get involved with you, right?”

Mingyu is boiling inside, but he lets the smug guy walk away. He exhaled loudly, feeling annoyed that _Jun is right_. He felt all the more frustrated because he really can’t trust that ‘influential enough’ guy whose hand very so often lowers to the form of Wonwoo’s butt as they blend with the guests.

“Yunho sunbaenim! Why are we here?” Wonwoo scanned at emerald tiles, a large table and two white beds with green blinds, there’s that. Oh, there are some dummies for life support trainings, “Is this a clinic? Are you hurt?”

Yunho loosened his necktie, “Yeah. It’s great to have something like this at such gatherings, right?” _So I can have you for myself._

“Oh, you’re right.”

Yunho hissed, “Hurts. Can you take a look above my head? You can sit on the table if you like. Here, I’ll help you.”

“Oh, I think there’s no bump,” Already on the table, Wonwoo giggled at the hand that brushed his back. _Ugh, I’m getting dizzy I probably drank too much._ He suddenly felt something warm and wet against his neck. He felt weak and dizzy but it took him a while to realize what it was.

Yunho’s working his lips on him. Fuck. He hates it. _Ah, I’m too drunk._ “Stop. Please.”


	23. The feeling that mattered

Yunho smirked finally connecting their lips.

Wonwoo closed his eyes and tried to stop Yunho but he can’t control his strength. He wants this to stop. He hates it. 

_ Please. I don’t want to loath you but why? _

He finds himself remembering the kiss he shared with Mingyu. It happened in the living room, not in some strange place like this. He remembered it, how he was _hesitant_ but not to this degree of unwillingness and defeat. It all dawned on him, what he preferred better...

_ Mingyu… _

Yunho was suddenly wrenched away from him. Wonwoo fidgets from where he’s seated, face cupped by the man who’s face contorts in concern. Oh, it’s him, “Mingyu…”

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asked, earning just a nod. He turned to the damn influential son of a bitch, “YOU FUCKER! WHAT DO YOU-” A hand on his arm stopped him. Wonwoo is stopping him from charging at the man. _Wonwoo, why?_

Yunho’s stance says he’s pissed off as well. “Let’s hear what Wonwoo have to say.”

Mingyu clenched his jaw, fists curling but Wonwoo's hand is still keeping him grounded.

“It’s okay, Mingyu. Please just leave, sunbaenim.”

_What?! Wonwoo, why?_ Mingyu watched the older leave the room as told.

“Mingyu…”

“Are you kidding me? Jeon Wonwoo, you can’t just say it’s okay! This is why everyone’s taking advantage of you. What if he’s the one targeting you, huh?”

“Oh, he’s really not. He didn’t ask me _why I’m back in Korea_ like the others. He’s just…”

Mingyu felt so damn mad. “Are you going to make an excuse for him now?”

Wonwoo bites down his quivering lips.  _ He’s just a sunbae I really looked up to. He ruined it all but… I probably led him on. It’s probably my fault that everyone’s taking advantage of me.  _

Mingyu still can’t relax, especially when there are faint voices and loud footsteps heading to this room. He takes Wonwoo’s hand. Damn, the male is still shaking in fear. Good thing he followed his gut feel. It’s probably the age, as Mingyu gets older, his instincts never failed him. “Let’s hide.”

“ **Yah, I told you**. He was just there, okay? He was with that popular actor, Jung Yunho. I swear they were just there!” Two ladies are already bickering inside the room. Oblivious that at the farthest bed, two men are hiding behind green blinds.

Mingyu’s elbows are propped down on the bed, face dangerously close to the man under him. They can’t possibly move away. And they listened.

“I told you not to fucking drink! What did you do? You lost that Japan Boy that we have to find.”

“Wah. Why am I not allowed to drink when you can? Anyways, his friends are still there.”

“I know, just don’t be fucking obvious. His friends might know the ‘warning words’ so don’t spill it for fun.”

“Dooyeon, c’mon, I won’t. But it’s too bad, _why did he come back to Korea?_ ”

Wonwoo gasped but Mingyu was quick to cover Wonwoo’s mouth. Good thing Dooyeon’s laugh masked the sound. Mingyu wants to properly hold Wonwoo, to take away the evident fear on the male’s eyes.

“You bitch, nice one.”

“Let’s not waste time and find Jeon Wonwoo.”

The girls left the room turning the **lights off**.

Wonwoo blinked to pitch black while Mingyu carefully slides down beside him. They moved to a position where they face each other. He felt the chef’s breathing quickening. Wonwoo’s own clammy hand found Mingyu’s, holding on to it. “You’re still afraid of the dark.”

Mingyu nods like an idiot as if Wonwoo could see it in this darkness. It's suddenly hard to think of anything else. The fear eats him up more because this is an unfamiliar room and it’s a fucking nurse room. His heart beats to a rate that scares him.

Wonwoo is also weak at his knees for a different reason, _I still need a moment…_ but he finds courage to gently pat Mingyu’s hand, “It’s okay, I’m here.”

Mingyu managed to open his eyes, adjusting to the darkness until he can trace Wonwoo’s form. There must be a window, far from where they are, that made it possible. So much happened tonight, he knows Wonwoo is a wreck of emotions. Surely, more than him. He can only stare and properly hold Wonwoo’s hand, like how he wanted to.

Suddenly the heart that beats so fast, it’s not so bad.

Wonwoo shifts his eyes to the outline of Mingyu’s features, gorgeous even if colored by the night. Their fingers already intertwined. In this dimness he managed to look at those eyes.  _Oh, is it the moon that holds the smudge of peace?_

This night is sure darkened  
in all kinds of fear.  
But when they're  
next to each other,  
Even if the light is  
faint to nothing for them,  
They are suddenly  
moonlights.

If you just look closely, they both knew.

He felt him inching close,  
Until the softness of lips met his,  
To the hesitant kind of kiss he preferred.

At the break of it, their eyes remained fixed down to the lips that nicely fit theirs. And the silence was thick of the question they both knew the air carried, 

_ Can I kiss you again? _

They kissed lewdly, like they’ve been depraved after the kiss shared in the living room. The kiss is needy and desperate, hungry for more. He’s set to prickle in heat where Mingyu touches him. From the arm that creeps to his side to fingers that trailed his back, Wonwoo’s lips stutters to a small moan. It’s intoxicating and his body feels hot.

He managed to break the kiss, breathless, “We need to go.” 

“Yeah.” Yet, Mingyu kisses him again.

His lips were so soft,

It’s the only feeling that mattered.

.

.

.

“Yoojung, are you sure? They were in that room all this time?” The two girls hurried back to the room that they were once in.

“Yes. I talked to Yunho’s friend, said that Yunho took Wonwoo to the medical room.”

They opened the room and turned the lights on with suspense-filled atmosphere. The green blinds easily caught their attention. Quickly they pulled it open and checked even the farthest corner… there’s no one. No one’s here…

.

.

.

The waves crash at the distance from where they stand, facing each other. Now that they’re not in that room, the distance is _very evident_ between them. They stopped to a path of man-made lamps on a beach leading to Boo’s guesthouse.

“Why did you ask HIM for help of all people?” Mingyu asked. The emotions are stuffed heavy inside, knowing he can’t change anything at this point.

Wonwoo looks down. There are sands on their bare feet. Oh, they’re wearing formal attires and are carrying their shoes in this kind of place. If he looks up now, the moonlight will remind him of Mingyu’s eyes. Here in this moment, the moonlight is reflected by unsteady waves. It's not so peaceful. “There’s no other way.”

Wonwoo had to contact Yunho, the man who knew the rooms and every corner of the event hall, to help them escape. The back door, with no reporters, they were informed through message. It was quick for his sunbae wanted to help them as a way to apologize. Yunho had security cars with him, letting them borrow one to escort them back here. And now, they’re _safe_.

It was the only way.

Mingyu raised his voice, “After all that he did? He had a motive! You two are going to see each other tomorrow, for what?”

Wonwoo knew he had to deal with this. On the way here, he talked briefly on the phone with Yunho. The latter apologized and hoping what happened won't affect their work. Mingyu was bound to hear it all. “No, you got it wrong. I'm going to be the main lead for an MV shoot tomorrow. It's... when he introduced me to this director, the deal was sealed that quick...”

Mingyu cursed, “That influential son of a bitch.”

“Sunbae won’t be part of it. So, we won’t see each other tomorrow.”

He went to great lengths to get vital information while Wonwoo is job hunting. Mingyu thinks this male is just so careless, “I got information from Victoria noona. Krystal quit the job to open a restaurant. But it’s not here, it’s back in Seoul. So you can leave that and we can go back to Seoul as early as possible.”

“I can’t back out. I already said ‘yes’.”

Mingyu sighed. _Why does he take jobs so easily like he’s not in danger?_

“I’m not a chef like you. I’m an actor. It’s been a while y’know, _acting_.”

He stayed silent, not like he had any say on this. Also, he felt like Wonwoo just wants to slap the truth, not wanting to be involved with him, that’s it.

"Let's just go." Wonwoo is done with this conversation, but apparently Mingyu is not.

“Why did you forgive him so easily?”

“Oh, it must be hard for you to forgive?”

They locked gazes, thoughts blending with the sound of the ocean.

“Why this fast? I can never understand you.”

“How many years do I have to waste to forgive?”

Mingyu didn’t answer. He's silently counting the years from the time Wonwoo left him with a broken promise, _seven years_.

Wonwoo shifts from where he stands. This topic is becoming more personal than intended, “If it’s hard for you, that’s fine too. Reasons are endless for people to be careless. You can take your time but as for me, I just want to let it go. At the end of the day, forgiving is still different from forgetting. You can forgive, but the _trust is gone_.”

He had been through this many times. Mingyu thought it should be easy now. This time, he didn’t let the other pass by him. If there’s something he realized that he can’t let go, it’s the hand that he’s holding right now, “Why can’t you trust me?”

Wonwoo’s gaze drops to the warmth of hand. “Let’s just go inside. I’m tired.” _I don’t want to deal with this, you already know the answer to that._

* * *

**The next day.** Wonwoo’s on his bed, smiling at her. She’s wearing a silk robe and dancing closer to where he’s at, until she’s laughing in his arms. They are lovers, playing and in love. The mood is bright and tones down romantically, they stared at each other. Wonwoo’s eyes flickers down to her lips. He closed his eyes planting a kiss on her rose lips. 

“CUT.”

He is nailing this character for a music video. And he knows it, with the way he smiled at the director’s cue.

On the other hand, Mingyu monitored everything with tight lips. It’s kind of dumb of him to think that it’s a good thing for Kahi to arrive here later than expected. Actually it’s in Mingyu’s favor, because the manager told him to actually monitor Wonwoo in this Music Video shoot. Mingyu is also friends with the artist, NaNa. So he should be fine that she’s now on top of Wonwoo. He is perfectly unbothered. That’s what he thought.

“Don’t you want to sit?” A concerned staff asked the obviously distraught Chef.

“Y-Yeah,” But he stayed standing, watching the new scene where the two make out in such an explicit position, Wonwoo’s lips slipping to the line of her neck, trailing further down just above her bosom.

Mingyu just sits down with _all his might_ , the rather oblivious side of him didn't notice the cup of coffee at the arm chair. And it drops with the glass loudly breaking into a mess of shards and brown stains. Mingyu was left agape, eyeing the set that was obviously disturbed. _Damn._

“Okay, we have to retake this.” The director said much to Mingyu’s distress, Wonwoo’s confusion, and Nana’s delight.

After cleaning the mess he made, he watched everything unfold up to the last scene. Wonwoo and Nana had to be loveydovey under the _rain_.

Wonwoo was wearing white long sleeves.

Mingyu was bound to be teased when the male got soaked. He fervently eyed the fabric that hugged the male’s toned body, not as lanky as the past. But he remembered loving that anyway, what more this sight of him.

Wonwoo aged like fine wine.

“ _He_ ’s beautiful,” another man voiced the same sentiments.

Mingyu darts a look at the new presence. This man, he saw a few times now, is Jisoo’s assistant in the café. “What are you doing here, Ravi?”

Ravi sighed, “Just watching _Wonwoo_ like that…”

He wasn't sure if he heard it right the first time but _... Ravi really meant ‘he’, huh._

“Don’t worry, Mingyu. I’m here because I'm Nana’s cousin.”

He shrugs, but effectively his focus is back at the scene.

Soon after, the shoot ended with everyone clapping to the day’s good work. 

Wonwoo can feel Mingyu’s burning stare. The man’s eyes never left him, he’s fucking aware. Why is Mingyu even here? He never got the chance to ask. He needed to change his wet clothes before he monitors the _takes_. On his way, he almost slipped. _Ugh, I hate when this happens_.

Then shrieks on his way stopped him in his tracks. His eyes followed theirs, looking up… a flower pot is dropping down on him. He was left frozen at the spot.

_ This is the _ –

He felt strong arms, easily taking him off the ground.

_ End? _

He opened his eyes, wrapped up in Kim Mingyu’s hold. The capable man looks down at him with concern. He saw this giant wear this expression many times now. Saving him like this, many times now. Making his heart beat even faster than it already is, “T-thank you.”

Mingyu hung his head lower, sighing out his troubles, “Be careful.” 

The two stands up, easily crowded by the staffs who’re now shouting in the set. How did the flower pot placed so high up the fake windows and slipped like that? Who was so careless? Who is to blame? They all asked. The event was uncanny enough to spark a thought in Mingyu like someone _set it up_.

By now, they are waiting for the warning sign, ‘Why did you come back to Korea?’

**Until everything was done,** **the two of them _stick with each other_ to a silent agreement they never planned.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the feedbacks and kudos <3 also, i'll try to update every two days.


	24. he's calm even if he's not

_ “Wonwoo, I care about you.” _

_ Wonwoo kissed Mingyu to just shut him up. He squirmed letting the man explore his body. He lets him take off his lower garments, mewling at the kiss from the hand the easily wrapped around his already hard cock. “Mingyu…” _

_ Mingyu smiled against the kiss before he trailed Wonwoo’s neck with kisses, like the scene of the main leads in the music video. But he actually bites down to the milky skin earning a moan. He pushed a finger inside him, “Fucking tight.” _

_ He whined at how Mingyu distracts the pain by peppering his skin in light sucking and leaving marks everywhere. Then there’s that desire that crawl his skin, the tip of Mingyu’s cock is teasing at his entrance. Until the gorgeous man pushed smoothly inside him, the burn of stretch is making him dizzy. This is bad. _

_ Mingyu started moving, “Wonwoo…you feel so good.” _

_ He whimpered, pleasure consuming him whole. With Mingyu’s slow thrusts, Wonwoo had time to adjust to the man’s thick cock. He can’t help but moan to the change of pace, getting fast until he’s breathless. He’s aching to release. _

_ Mingyu pushed the flawless thighs up, biting on his bottom lip as he watched his throbbing cock slid in and out of the tight heat. He looks back at Wonwoo’s hooded eyes, to the sinful moans that escape those pretty lips of him. He growls, leaning down to capturing it hungrily, tongues curling and his thrusts deeper. _

_ “Ha. Mingyu, I’m gonna cum…” _

Wonwoo did. He’s wet and trembling in his wake. Fuck. He woke up to this. He faced the side, grateful that Seokmin wasn’t there. He’s breathing heavily, skin sheen with sweat and he waits for the high to settle down. I’m an idiot. _All those events, the kiss in the dark to that sexy music video shoot, got me this fucking wet dream. I hope I wasn’t moaning in my sleep. Fuck._

He went to the bathroom, lightheaded. He had to check his body in the mirror to find for hickeys. He should be all red everywhere by now, but he’s not. Fuck. It felt so real.

He went down to have breakfast, still in daze. He’s darting pointed looks at anyone who talk about Kim Mingyu. He doesn’t want to be reminded of his dream. They said Mingyu took a morning jog, fortunately.

“Who wants to come with me? I’m going to visit my lovely Mrs. Jwa in our flower shop.” Seungkwan brightly informed the bunch.

Wonwoo hurriedly stands, “Me. I need to escape.”

They look dumbfounded, so did he. He shouldn’t have said it like that, but anyways he’s getting out of Mingyu’s sight.

Boo’s flower shop is a pastel grandeur, huge with many sections. The group of friends are in the flower crown making section. This section opened just this month, great for the winter days to come. With him, Jun, Seokmin, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol tagged along.

Mrs. Jwa personally explained everything to them and to the camera that’s filming them. They made the hair accessory out of roses and rare flowers that they picked themselves. After, they were informed that the flower shop editors will put their video up in front of the shop so customers can see the steps clearly.

Seungcheol waited for Seungkwan’s mother to exit before telling him off, “You used us!”

“It’s fine though? They think we’re handsome men,” said Jun.

Jeonghan clicks his tongue, “I just have to point out that I have a high payment fee. I’m a top model, JUST SAYING.”

Wonwoo eased everyone, “We’re doing this for Seungkwan’s mother.”

Seokmin was laughing at Seungkwan who’s suddenly tongue-tied, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Seungkwan claps, “Okay! I’ll treat you guys to yummy treats. I owe you one, two, three, four and five.”

Afternoon came, Seokmin actually had meet ups so he sent in Mingyu instead. The work this afternoon needs more people, they have to plant. Mingyu easily spots Wonwoo, the only one who didn’t greet his mighty presence. _Rude_.

Then, he finds Ravi, this man still stares at Wonwoo in ways that doesn’t sit with him, “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be in Jisoo’s coffee shop?”

“He’s here to get some flower deco, Mingyu.” Wonwoo answered for Ravi.

Mingyu pressed his lips, eyes following the way Wonwoo packed the flowers neatly himself, smiling ever so gorgeous as the male gives it to Ravi. When Jisoo’s assistant is done with whatever and finally left, he sighed. “You stay away from that guy.”

“He’s a good guy. I’ve known him back when he was still working in Gangnam.”

“I don’t trust him.”

“Oh, okay, now can you stay away from me?”

Mingyu rounds to where Wonwoo was making bouquets of flowers, many of them already organized with names for events and such, “Wow, you’re good with your hands.”

Wonwoo suddenly felt hot. _What do you mean GOOD WITH HANDS? That’s a nice way of remembering that wet dream._

“Hey, where are you going?”

_ Getting away from you, idiot. _

Afterawhile, Mingyu was tasked to plant seedlings on yellow pots. The man who changed into comfortable sleeveless shirt is still in Wonwoo’s line of sight but he can finally do his job in peace or so he thought. Kim Mingyu is no doubt FLEXING those muscles, shamelessly making eye contact as he does so.

Wonwoo is an actor. He can pretend he’s calm even when he’s not.

Mingyu started working on a small pot, digging with two fingers in.

He can’t believe what he’s seeing; the man is basically finger fucking that pot. What the fuck? Wonwoo got startled when Seungkwan shouted at him. Apparently, he just crumpled an expensive mesh of décor. This is Kim Mingyu’s fault! But he can’t possibly voice that out loud. How annoying!

* * *

The next day comes with Wonwoo on his way to Jisoo’s coffee shop. Ravi asked him for help yesterday, about picking coffee cherries themselves. But he’s kind of nervous actually hoping in this truck with just the two of them.

Ravi placed a hand on his thigh, “Hey, relax. It’ll be fun.”

Wonwoo tilts his head, “Yeah. I did what you told me, since you want to surprise Jisoo. I didn’t tell him about this. Or anyone, they’re all spoilers.”

“Right. That’s great.”

The engine starts, and they head off somewhere away from the city.


	25. Hold back

Mingyu didn’t go for a morning jog today. He had to meet up with his manager who finally arrived. He takes a route for Jisoo’s coffee shop needing the shot of espresso and the courage to tell his manager that they need to head back to Seoul. He can almost hear the scolding he’ll get.

_ Hmm? Why is this closed? Isn’t Jisoo’s coffee shop supposed to be open this early on Tuesdays to Thursdays? _

He was walking back to his car, planning to call Jisoo, when someone called his name, “KIM MINGYU!”

“AH! Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Hello! Our baby baekyeol is up this early too! It’s nice to see you guys.”

Baekhyun chuckled, “Yeah, small world. Also, it was late when we realized you’re that _CHEF Kim Mingyu_. We talked to your boyfriend _just a while ago_. You’re keeping your relationship private, right? Don’t worry.”

“Wonwoo? You talked to him just now…? Where? Here?”

Chanyeol tilts his head to contemplate, “You didn’t know? He was with Ravi. We had a brief talk before they ride this truck and drove a–”

“Where? Where did they go?” _Ravi… I knew it._

Mingyu is now driving his car to the direction the couple told him to, nervously so. He just talked to Nana. She said that Ravi is NOT her cousin. _That liar, I’ll fucking get you. Don’t you dare touch Wonwoo._

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked Wonwoo. He thinks they’re far enough from the city.

Wonwoo hummed a ‘yes’. This part of the road is full of towering trees and not the usual scenic view overlooking the ocean. They’re headed to harvest coffee cherries anyways; he should be expecting green fields and farm.

But Ravi stops the car.

He looked at the driver, confused. “Are we here?”

Ravi stared at the male that he’s been eyeing since that fucking Hometeen program. Finally after all those years, he’s now alone with him. “You uhm look wonderful today, too.”

Wonwoo felt uncomfortable all of a sudden, shifting on his seat.

“There’s a shortcut over there, Wonwoo. Let’s uhm walk.”

“Oh, okay.”

And they did. It’s really strange that a 'shortcut' would be this forestry. The vines and dark oak trees are quite intimidating. Then, Wonwoo felt a hand snaking at his waist. He looked at Ravi whose expression is dark. This is bad. “I… I think we should head back.”

Ravi stopped the male, smirking, “Hey, why did you come back to Korea?”

His eyes grew wide at the realization, he’s in real danger. “Ravi, what are you doing?” The man is suddenly trying to attack him, aiming for his lips. He had the strength to fight off this time, “Stop.”

“I just really thought it’s a good chance to get you like this, I have no choice. I really like you.”

“No, please.” He doesn’t know what to say, what to think, he’s just terrified. When he managed to get his hands off him, he thought he can finally run off only to slip into a rocky height. Holding his breath as the friction of sliding against loam intensifies, his skin bruising whilst trying to grab anything for a stop. He felt his lungs caving in finally stopping at the bottom. He can faintly see Ravi, voice almost inaudible… and Wonwoo blacks out.

Mingyu spots the familiar truck parked at the side of the road.  His eyes scanned around after finding out that no one’s in the truck.

**It’s about time!** He saw Ravi getting out the forest and meets him at the middle of the road. He’s boiling in rage but he’s also dead worried because…“Where’s Wonwoo?”

Ravi tried to get the strong hold off his collar.

Then a car is approaching that actually made Mingyu to let go. Ravi scrambled to his truck as he watched the taller disappear in the forest where he left off.  _Shit._ He needs to get out of here.

“WONWOO!!!” Mingyu called out to the greenery.

His heart is clenching nervously, hoping that Wonwoo’s okay. “JEON WONWOO!”

Almost loosing balance, his gaze drops down the rocky height. There he is! “JEON WONWOO!!!”

No response.

How he managed to get down quickly washes away with the adrenaline rush. He found him unconscious and bruised. _What the fuck, let’s get you out of here._ He carefully he carried him, his strong build and long legs giving them advantage.

* * *

Wonwoo wakes up to white and beige. A surge of headache followed suit and his heart pounds in fear. But then, Jun’s voice registered, telling him he’s okay. He adjusted his eyes to the familiar walls of Seungkwan’s guesthouse. Jun’s face and… where’s Mingyu?

“You’re okay, now. Two days. You slept for two days. You’re still recovering so you better stay where you are.”

“Oh, not like I can actually move without feeling the pains of the world.”

Jun nods, “Okay, I’ll get you painkillers. Uhh _Everyone’s_ out, kind of searching for that Ravi.”

“Oh, right. How…?”

Jun looks away, “Mingyu found you.”

_ Mingyu… again.  _ He’s so overwhelmed and grateful. He’s ashamed that this is his entire fault. Mingyu even told him to stay away from Ravi. This is embarrassing. Just imagine the words that will surely sprout from Kim Mingyu’s mouth now. He’ll have to deal with it because that man is right again… like always.

_ Mingyu’s also right when he said that I make it easy for everyone to take advantage of me. _

He doesn’t know how to deal with it himself. He’s so embarrassed to face that smug man, BUT he also wants to see his saviour.

_ What’s wrong with me? Ah, I must’ve hit my head harder than I thought? _

How can the stars write on his pages with scribbles of the man he wants to stop getting involved with? It… it makes him hard to hold back his feelings.

** The day went smoothly with Jun taking care of him. ** He really needs someone like Jun in his life. When the bunch was there to fond at him, he informed them not to get caught up in this mess. They retaliated, but after some convincing talks, they set few people with tasks on how to properly deal with this situation.

That there should still be people left in the house for crying out loud.

Night comes with Wonwoo still not having the heart to tell everyone about this person that sets him up in danger. Even Mingyu is clearly holding back. Jun and Seungkwan, knowing about the danger that’s trailing him, are probably having a hard time too, or maybe not if they took it lightly. Wonwoo hopes it’s the latter.

It’s almost midnight, Wonwoo expected Mingyu. But he didn’t expect the male to slip under the blanket and settle all giant beside him like this. And the lights are also off. He almost wanted to scowl that Mingyu is supposed to be scared at this degree of dimness but with Mingyu wrapping those firm arms around him to a back hug, it just made him calm in ways that words can never be.

“Wonwoo, tell me now.”

“You’re right. Ravi is one of them.”

“He really asked you _that_ question?”

_ Hey, why did you come back to Korea? _

“Yes. Y-you can stop whispering now, it’s just us.” They’re at Seungkwan and Hansol’s shared room. Given his recovering condition, everyone insisted for him to rest here since it’s in the first floor.

Mingyu nods to soft bumps at the back of Wonwoo’s head. He wants to stay like this for a while.

“Mingyu… I still haven’t thanked you.”

“Can you face this way then?”

Wonwoo didn’t move.

“Yah, I’m scared of the dark.”

“Oh, you’re pulling that card now?” Wonwoo snorts but faced him anyways.

They’re back to tracing outlines in the dark. Their eyes easily flickers down to the line of lips, saying everything without words.

Mingyu confessed, “I want to get involved with you.”

Wonwoo knows what ‘getting involved’ means in the language he shares with Mingyu. It was his line when he confessed to him when they were younger. He found himself leaning close to kiss the stunning man as a reply. This time he felt the softness of lips gently moving against his, effectively making him as _soft_. Like the tension that coiled everywhere starts to dissipate. Until he’s the only feeling that mattered.

.

.

.

** They’re awkward the next day ** . Mingyu thinks so with the way Wonwoo is having a hard time making an eye contact with him. Is kissing him last night a bad idea? Noo~ope, they both liked it. Wonwoo even _moaned his name_. He thinks it’s cute and sexy at the same time. He’s whipped.

The weather is suddenly a good weather. He’s heading to the city with his bro Hansol. They’re headed to Ravi’s neighbourhood, where his owned small café business is located.

“He’s a good guy. He’s the most hardworking person I know,” Leo said. He’s this café’s manager and Ravi’s best friend.

“Ah, he’s a good guy?” Hansol repeats with a sip of his coffee.

Mingyu narrowed his eyes in disapproval. “No. I already told you what he did to our friend. Ravi is after Wonwoo.”

Leo raised brow, “Wonwoo? That’s familiar. Aren’t you guys in that reality show? Hometown?”

Hansol laughed, “Hometeen, bro.” Mingyu just rolled his eyes.

“Okay. Ravi has a little crush on Wonwoo back then. From what I can recall, he gives Wonwoo free breads with his every coffee order. In Gangnam, I worked with him there in a coffee shop. He makes up promos whenever Wonwoo comes by.” Leo looks down disheartened. “I didn’t think it would come to this… I swear I’ll tell you guys if I see him.

The cinnamon buns that Wonwoo dearly love from that Gangnam 24/7 Café, Mingyu remembered. He was lost in his thoughts. Hansol already thanked the manager who’s now going back to his office.

“Should we wait here for my bootiful boyfriend?”

“Bro, please the choice of word...”

Hansol waggles his brows, “It’s true though.”

“Wow, I can’t get used to you being a confident gay.”

“I am I really? OH! They’re here.”

Mingyu spots Seungkwan talking with someone familiar. He can recognize her anywhere, _Jung Chaeyeon_. After reaching their table, Seungkwan informs them that Chaeyeon is now a pre-school teacher here in Jeju-do. The rest becomes a blur of words. What he hears instead is her voice dragging her demands. Yet, she’s not speaking now. She’s that person that made him feel all kinds of emotions.


	26. Depths of Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu remembers his times with Jung Chaeyeon.

**Mingyu’s emotions are shaken up. Seeing HER today made him see more of himself. If his younger self would’ve handled it differently then, would he have this feelings now? He’s already out of the water, it’s been years. But in this moment, why does it feel like he’s completely back in the depths of the ocean whilst lost and alone. He knows this is a hopeless case. _Mingyu can still remember his times with Jung Chaeyeon._ **

_“What happened?” Mingyu (18) is genuinely concerned. The staffs said they were out looking for him everywhere so they can inform him that Chaeyeon needed him._

_But she’s smiling instead, “My wrist hurt when I bend it like this.”_

_“You know I’m with my friends, Chaeyeon.” He’s clearly annoyed. “You called me in for nothing.”_

_“Nothing? I just told you my wrist is hurting?”_

_“What do you want me to do?”_

_She’s holding back her tears, but she’s not so subtle about it, “You said you care about me. But you can’t even show concern?”_

_“Chaeyeon. I’m here now, right?”_

_“Then, say it like you mean it.”_

_What? He gulps down his reasons, “Okay. I’m concerned about you.”_

_She gave him that look, like she was expecting him to say it like he didn’t look pathetic already._ _“Then, stay here.”_

_“Chaeyeon. Can’t you see I was with my friends? They wanted me to join them. It’s something rare for us right now to gather like this, I told you about this. Since I have my own team and everything that’s happening…” The last words were almost inaudible._

_Chaeyeon looked at him like she’s waiting for him to say more, “Who…?”_

_By this time, Mingyu can read her face, “Wonwoo is not there.”_

_The moment he saw her lips tugging to a smile, he looked away. Chaeyeon knows that Wonwoo is now distancing himself from him and that it makes Mingyu sad. He can only realize that it’s her peace of mind – when he’s sad. That just breaks his heart even more than it already is._

_When he only thinks of her happiness, she doesn’t do the same._

_Even after knowing that Wonwoo wasn’t there, she wanted him to stay with her. Mingyu retaliates but she cries when she thinks he’s raising his voice._

_“You scare me when you’re angry.” And then her tears follow._

_She was never the one who’s prepared to lose. Mingyu knows that much._

_So he lets himself be trapped in the four corners with her in this artist room. It’s suffocating. Mingyu didn’t like it but he also didn’t want her to be sad._

_She’s like a sister to him. It also makes him sad to see her cry, so he stayed._

_How everyone around him wanted him to make up for the insensitiveness he caused Chaeyeon in that reality show, played most part of it. It readily influenced his decisions._

_They announced that Mingyu have a soft spot for her. But to him, it's still the same. She's still a sister to him._

_“To compromise,” the producers’ told him it was the right thing to do. The fans are upset, his image is ruined and they’re on the narrative that he is confused with his sexual orientation right now – **all of these are weighing him down**. _

_But there’s no one to talk about all the stress that’s building up. He felt like Chaeyeon just didn’t care about his feelings too._

_She told him in one occasion, “Remember that we’re going to this event because MY fans wanted us here.”_

_On another event, “I was the only one who’s invited. But I told them I wanted companions. Of course, they would do anything for me to go to that bazaar. My fans will be crazy to support everything I’ll hold.” She said half-jokingly. Mingyu’s cold reaction wasn’t what she expected though, so she too turned serious, “Well, you can tell Joshua to tag along, only him though. It’s uhm going to be crowded there.”_

_Mingyu is suddenly exhausted and already doubting himself. “Whatever.”_

_But she wasn’t done with her words, always wanting to say the last words._

_“And Mingyu, remember who gave you this opportunity.”_

_Even from the start, the conversations for him but competition to her, he should’ve seen as warning signs. She doesn’t care about him – all the more that drags him to the deepest of shame and disrespect because it’s true… he knows that even his fame, she did that for him. Some fans who don’t support them together are claiming he’s just using her for fame. Mostly wants Chaeyeon to be happy and they say it’s with him. So at the very end, it was a battle he can't win. He did nothing but lose._

_She’s the winner, and he lost (himself)._

_Even if he wants to stop being reminded every day of that, it's hopeless._

_**One time when Mingyu was rushed to the hospital** , only Chaeyeon knew about it. Being in the same schedules, she was bound to be informed that he wasn’t going to attend one. She managed to know his stupid actions. _

_He asked her to keep it a secret to everyone. And she did._

_After that, Mingyu felt like he’s connected with her somehow. She holds a piece of him – his truth. They were also getting along fine. That’s what he thought. When he finally had a shot to an amazing solo project… Chaeyeon easily got upset._

_She’s certainly angry many times than not that he’s not really sure if it’s just about that ONE pre-interview he had with Victoria (or because he got a solo activity):_

_“SHE LIKES YOU! EVERYONE KNOWS VICTORIA IS CRAZY ABOUT YOU! WHY DID YOU ALLOW THAT?” Chaeyeon was shouting and totally mad. She’s not saying their sunbae’s name in respect either._

_“Relax. It’s just an interview. Why are you so angry? She’s the MC, that’s it.”_

_“I’m relaxed! Stop saying that. She did this before! She’s not the original MC. She just took the job because you’re–”_

_“Chaeyeon stop.” Mingyu just doesn’t want to go there, ‘You don’t know it this time. Maybe she’s really the MC.”_

_“NO. Knowing her! You know her, right? Tell me.” She started crying._

_He just went through a difficult time and now his heart is heavy. He’s back at being stuck in not knowing what to do. “What do you want me to do? Is this about not getting your permission? I need your ‘permission’ to be friends with people, right?”_

_“What? It’s not about that.”_

_“Then what?!”_

_She’s sobbing, having a hard time to say, “You should’ve asked for a different host. Anyone but her…”_

_“It’s done already, okay? And I don’t think they’ll –”_

_“You wouldn’t know because you didn’t try!”_

_Mingyu looks down, defeated. “Okay.”_

_Maybe he expected more from her, after knowing him hospitalized and all. But he’s still in this loop with her, stuck and powerless. At the edge and suffocated, he can’t take it anymore. He’s suddenly irritated by her cries. He kicked a chair so hard it slammed to a drawer._

_Startling Chaeyeon, she stopped crying._

_Mingyu started sobbing instead, covering his head with his arms to stop the thoughts he can’t put together, “I’m also having a hard time, you know. Please stop this. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to please you. Everything I do makes everyone sad. I’m sad too. But the person I want to hug can’t hug me now.”_

_“I’m sorry.” She tried to hug him but…_

_He stopped her through his tears, “No. Not you.”_

_The person I want to hug can’t hug me now… Wonwoo…_

_He’s so tired of her. She’s antagonistic if he laughs too much. Is happiness that offensive? You saw me suffering, my mental health in decline. And easily you made damn sure I fell in the hole._

_Even if it kills him, he just had to stop caring, before she drags him down once more._

_**After that incident,** Mingyu doesn’t greet Chaeyeon’s team. Chaeyeon’s parents started calling him ‘disrespectful’. Walking out and lashing out, he does that too. And he just doesn’t care. He’s dead tired to even think about Chaeyeon. _

_Kim Mingyu is someone in front of the camera, but OFF-CAM – he’s just no one. He can’t even recognize himself in the mirror. He smiles differently now._

**THEY both know their history together. They were an unfortunate pair who needed fixing. If the public saw it differently, he knows whoever edits their scenes had a hard time making it seem like they were happy together.** **Chaeyeon still looks at him the same with that promising smile and expectant eyes. Nothing’s change, he still looks back in despair. _He recognized her as someone instilling fear, obligation and guilt_. And now, Mingyu just had to _walk away_ from anything that causes his mind to fog up _miserably_. He also misses Wonwoo so much, and that’s the only thing he wants to cloud his thinking. He's going back to the guesthouse. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu & Chaeyeon’s dynamics are revealed! You’ll understand more of what happened in the next chapter: Mingyu’s past. Thank you for reading!!!


	27. With all of my heart

** P A S T  **

_ You knew and I knew  
That this is not an easy road  
It’s not that you and I didn’t know  
That not many flowers bloom on this road _

(Play: [Hurt Road by Day 6](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnC4nLRH6hM))

_ How am I these days? I don’t know. I’m doing less of the things I love these days.  _ Everyone is whispering:

“You’ve been selfish and insensitive. Chaeyeon was hurt the most.”

“There’s nothing we can do. You should make up for what you did to Chaeyeon.”

“The management will put an end to malicious comments, especially the ones directed to you, Mingyu. By any means, we don’t want to see you and Wonwoo together, _understand_?”

_ I don’t understand. But they won’t listen. _

After every scheduled interview in any form, they made sure Mingyu is dragged away from the group like he’s a child who’s not supposed to play. He gets busy with scripts. Maybe it’s the lame paragraphs that he gets scolded. If he doesn’t cry, they say he ‘makes a sad expression’ whenever the name Wonwoo is mentioned.

Well, damn he can’t help it. It’s the name he can’t say but his heart screams. His heart is aching, naturally his tears flow. So the management decided to help him, allowing only questions they deemed appropriate.

That fucking ship wreck came too soon, when he was asked to choose between Wonwoo and Chaeyeon.

He’s still clearing up mistakes and is still making up to Chaeyeon. So he had to choose her much to his distress, Chaeyeon’s pleasure, many fan’s cheers, and the management’s satisfaction.

‘Good job,’ they say.

They almost look like they’re few minutes away from throwing a party. But his expression says he won’t join them. These people smiled in the not good times. It’s almost sickening. Blatantly taking advantage of how he feels. After all, he’s apologetic for everything that he did to Chaeyeon.

Those were his miserable moments of his life. He feels like his soul is a misfit to his six feet build, he just wanted to crumble with the thoughts of Wonwoo. He’s fucking ashamed of himself to even face Wonwoo. But he finds himself disheartened with their schedules that never matched.

There’s nothing he can do. The PDs stated that every reality show is like that, it’s expected that there’s ‘falling for you’ scenes to be edited. It was just a joke in the industry by now. 

_ Feelings are just jokes? Maybe these people don’t know ‘love’.  _ “I love him, even before the reality show started. It wasn’t a secret in our group of friends. I love him with all of my heart.”

“You’re just a confused teenager. You’re what? Seventeen? Eighteen? Do you know what your mother told us?”

“W-what did she say?”

“Let him be. Everyone in his age is also in ‘that’ phase. She said that. BUT you’ve seen the aftermath of our carelessness. Just DON’T talk with Wonwoo for a while, understand? You kids need space anyways. This blew up so big now. We can’t turn back.”

Maybe the management were right. He is still in that teen ‘ _easily influenced_ ’ age.

Days came easy with focusing on the job. He started to believe them – he needs to save his face to the public’s scrutiny. He worked hard to redeem the public trust and adjusted more to Chaeyeon. The thoughts that run hours, it’s to prove himself.

Until, he saw Wonwoo.

He felt like he trained his whole life for a marathon only to give up the finish line. From the start, he was about to lose.

Wonwoo gave him a concerned look of ‘are you okay?’

And damn, does his heart skip a beat. That and to feeling the clichés of butterflies in stomach. What he can’t say, his heart is screaming. _I love you with all of my heart_. The fleeting moments transitions to staffs screaming at him to GO. More of conflict and a little of hope, he felt. Only to fall once he’s alone with Chaeyeon in the four corners of the waiting room.

She easily made him feel down. He’s having a hard time too. But she’s too upset that he was late to even ask him if he’s okay. He knows by now that it’s not just that. She’s mad at him, because she knows that he saw Wonwoo. The staffs asked him many times about it.

He’s doing everything for her. But she’s mad now. Always. What more can he do? Seeing Wonwoo today, he’s run out of reasons.

It came to a point that she started making him feel that he needs to repay her. She’s reminding him that he made it this far because her. The management wants to play dumb because Chaeyeon’s fan base is so huge. In the end, it’s all about her. It wasn’t the reason he wants.

It’s like a hard kick that makes him fall down a flight of endless stairs. When will this stop?

Wonwoo starts being ‘distant’.

Mingyu suddenly felt the unbearable tension whenever their teams gather for special events. Realizing it, his smiles started to feel less genuine. He starts to count.

_ How many times a day _

_ Will my tears swell up? _

_ Even though I try to count, I can’t. _

_ Because I’m always trying to hold the tears in. _

Whenever he sees Wonwoo, he wants to ask, ‘ _How are you these days?’_ Wonwoo seems the same as him. He looks sad no matter what, these days.

The glasses of amber Mingyu sip, before he sleeps, turned to bottles. And it still wasn’t enough. He walks to the broadcasting company with hangover and it wasn’t enough. His heart is still shattered, he still the one that causes Wonwoo’s sadness. He’s still a failure.

There was brandy in his morning orange juice. His reasons become "just to give it a little kick". But he just doesn’t care. If he was ever drinking coffee there was whiskey in it too.

One time, many times, he messaged Wonwoo. Not a single response. He told one of his team about it. The lady, who took pity, accompanied him to the Artist room of Wonwoo’s team. He was able to see Wonwoo laughing. Jun always makes Wonwoo laugh. It's something that easily ticked him off, up to this day. In a different setting, he'd take away Wonwoo by now.  But until then, he can only do nothing but lessen his worries.

_ Like the world that doesn’t know how to stop spinning, _

_ I don’t know how to stop my love for you. _

Every time he faces Wonwoo, he wants to tell him that he cried last night. But he can’t. What would change if Wonwoo knew he cried every night? Nothing.

It could have been water in the glass but it wasn't. Even at midnight that transparent liquid that bathed Mingyu’s ice was vodka.

_ We spend so much time listening _

_ to the movies and the fucking media _

_ telling us what love is and what _

_ kind of people should be together _

_ that it seems we always forget _

_ to be our own person and love who _

_ and what we really want to love. _

One day, Mingyu woke up to white  _ – i _ t’s the hospital. They finally found out. He's finally the only alcoholic badass of the company. It’s too much, he still want to numb his pain. But they won’t let him get his hands on alcohol now. He talked to them about his troubles, that he doesn’t want the others to know. But Chaeyeon was informed.

“Can you promise me that you won’t tell my friends about this?”

Chaeyeon agreed, “Are you sure? I mean, yeah.”

“If there’s one thing, I want to talk to him.”

Even if he didn’t say who, they both know.

Chaeyeon sighed. “I don’t want to think that he’d feel burdened. Or maybe overwhelmed?”

The idea consumed him, “Really? I miss him.” He started crying. They fucking saved his liver from dying but what about his heart? “Even if I don’t see you like Wonwoo, I care about you. You know that right? You’re like a sister to me. But he… he’s everything to me. I want to look at him and say that I’m with him through all the way...”

_ This emptiness, Wonwoo is the only one that can fill it up. _

Mingyu stayed almost two weeks in the hospital. Articles about this are taken down and rumors that he’s taking a short break to Italy started spreading instead.

Chaeyeon has been a great help during his recovery time. He finally thought that they’re getting on the same wavelengths. But after what happened, his team maybe realized his struggles and actually gave him a solo project. His schedules with Chaeyeon were stopped.

They were getting along just fine. Until that interview with Victoria happened. Chaeyeon is back to making him feel like less of who he is as a person. He had a mental breakdown,

_ “I’m also having a hard time, you know. Please stop this. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to please you. Everything I do makes everyone sad. I’m sad too. But the person I want to hug can’t hug me now.” _

_ “I’m sorry.” She tried to hug him but… _

_ He stopped her through his tears, “No. Not you.” _

_ The person I want to hug can’t hug me now… Wonwoo… _

He finally realized – what he had with Chaeyeon isn’t going to work. _She has broken every piece of me, as if my sadness didn’t mean anything to her._

After that incident, they said that he changed. Being an alcoholic, they reckoned it’s a withdrawal symptom. But he just doesn’t care. He stopped greeting Chaeyeon’s team. Chaeyeon’s parents started calling him disrespectful. Being in the same room with Chaeyeon, ends up to him walking out and lashing out. He’s dead tired of everything.

One day, Hansol informed him that their phones were confiscated. That if Mingyu messaged Wonwoo, the latter just won’t receive any of that. He started talking shit about the company only calming down when Hansol explained it was because of a USB. The one leaking the hometeen videos is one of their friends. They didn’t spill who so they were just banned from gadgets after.

That and also, Wonwoo changed his phone number a lot because of trolls.

“I’m pathetic. I thought Wonwoo ignored my messages.”

“I mean, he does ignore you so…”

Mingyu sulks, “He hates me.”

“Um I don’t think so, no.”

“Really? Can I ask you a favor?” Mingyu found courage from a piece he read just yesterday.

###  _ SMOKE AND MIRRORS _

###  _ By Lang Leav _

###  _ If you know he’s too good for you. If he makes you think about the universe. If you look into his eyes and see the best version of yourself reflected back –  _

###  _ Why do you hesitate? _

###  _ If you feel the joy of possibility coursing through your veins. If he makes you feel more alive than you’ve ever felt. If he opens up a whole new world for you –  _

###  _ Why would you let that tempt you? _

###  _ I know you’re young and there is so much life left in you. But deep down, you know he is the one. It’s true the world is a great big place, and you’re not done exploring every inch of it. But sweet heart, it’s all just smoke and mirrors. _

###  _ And if you don’t make him yours now, someone else will. _

###  _ And you’re going to regret for the rest of your life. _

Wonwoo showed up to his apartment. His lingering worries were flown away like a blown dandelion in a single breath. Their moments are made of overwhelming love for each other. It hits him that in these moments, he can truly be himself. His lonely heart that seemed to wander has finally settled.

He finally stared at him like ‘I’m with you through all the way.’ And Wonwoo stared back the same. They made a promise that day.

“It won’t be easy…”

“I know.”

“I might hurt you.”

“It’s okay.”

“You might want to run away.”

“I won’t.”

* * *

** The party at Namsan was unexpected.  ** The program was a total paper to be crumpled, it wasn’t followed. From taking him away from the group minutes before it start, to him getting stopped to beg on his knees in front of his team.


End file.
